Stop wearing the mask of what you think you are supposed to be. Use your strengths and be true to yourself. Let the real you show through.

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We all wear disguises. We put them on to protect ourselves, to keep our true selves hidden away. But what if we took off the costume? What if we allowed ourselves to be authentically us?

In this episode, join David as we explore the idea of taking off the mask and being our true selves. Authenticity is about understanding who we are and embracing our amazing strengths as introverts, letting go of bad habits and limiting beliefs,  and courageously accepting our imperfections so we can connect on a deeper level.

In a world where we’re constantly putting on masks to fit in and be someone we’re not, it’s time to take off the mask and be authentically YOU! So take off the mask, and be the amazing person you were meant to be! Listen now and be strong!


Books referenced in this podcast: 

Richard Newman, You Were Born To Speak
Brene Brown,The Gifts of Imperfection
Becca Ribbing,The Clarity Journal
Marcus Buckingham & Donald Clifton, Now, Discover Your Strengths
Marcus Buckingham,StandOut

Podcast Episodes referenced:
Ep 89 – Presence, Storytelling, and Public Speaking with guest Richard Newman
Ep 90 – Creating Career Clarity: Strategies for Getting Unstuck with Becca Ribbing
Ep. 11 – Strengths, Personality Type, And Nature Versus Nurture

Contact the host of the Quiet and Strong Podcast: 

David Hall

Author, Speaker, Educator, Podcaster

quietandstrong.com

Gobio.link/quietandstrong

david [at] quietandstrong.com

 Take the FREE Personality Assessment:

Typefinder Personality Assessment

Follow David on your favorite social platform:

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 Get David’s book:

Minding Your Time: Time Management, Productivity, and Success, Especially for Introverts

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Podcast Transcript

00;00;09;19 – 00;00;32;22
David Hall
Hello and welcome to Episode 92 of the Quiet and Strong Podcast, especially for introverts. I’m your host, David Hall, the creator of Quiet and Strong.com. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced normally will air each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform.

00;00;33;08 – 00;00;56;04
David Hall
Leave a review. Tell a friend. Help get the word out there. So Halloween’s right around the corner. Do you like Halloween? I remember dressing up as a kid. Various costumes. I think I was a vampire. A monster pirate. Many other things. I would hit the neighborhood with my cousin and trick-or-treat, and we’d get all the candy that we could.

00;00;57;17 – 00;01;16;10
David Hall
And then this massive bag of candy, it wouldn’t last very long. I probably finished it off in a couple of days. I don’t know how. I didn’t manage to not get very sick. It was also a time for haunted houses and scary movies. I used to love that stuff. I’m not sure why it was so fun to get scared.

00;01;17;12 – 00;01;41;01
David Hall
Then as a dad, my kids love to dress up and trick or treat. There were carnivals and other things and they had a lot of fun and we were talking about the great costumes my kids had. One year my son was a paratrooper and he had a parachute that stood above his head and it was very cool. I should show you a picture.

00;01;41;23 – 00;02;01;07
David Hall
And when my daughter was still a baby, we made a Cabbage Patch doll box that went around her stroller. That was also a very cool costume, and there were many more. As my wife and kids are very creative and artistic. The kids are older now and I spend many of my Halloween nights passing out candy to the trick-or-treaters.

00;02;01;27 – 00;02;19;27
David Hall
Often I’m dressed as a grumpy old man. Hey, get off my lawn! And the last time I passed out candy dressed as a pirate and made a little set with a treasure chest. It was a lot of fun. It could be a lot of fun to dress up. It’s still great to pretend and use the imagination.

00;02;20;28 – 00;02;46;11
David Hall
Do you like to dress up on Halloween? Or maybe Comic-Con is your thing or the Renaissance Festival or parties or other times? Or maybe you don’t like dressing up at all, but it can be a great time to pretend to be something different. Maybe wear a mask. This could be lots of fun, but hopefully the rest of the year you’re not wearing a mask, but you can feel very comfortable with who you are.

00;02;46;23 – 00;03;15;15
David Hall
Be comfortable with yourself. Of course, for many years I struggled with not understanding myself. My introversion. I wore a mask, so to speak. A different times for different people. I am far happier now and far more successful than I’ve ever been, simply by being true to myself and my strengths and really understanding my strengths in myself. Sometimes when I was trying to be something I wasn’t, it was intentional.

00;03;15;15 – 00;03;41;14
David Hall
I was purposely acting like something I thought I needed to be. Other times, my mask was unintentional and not realizing that people didn’t see the real me and that I was misunderstood. In the last few years, as I’ve learned to understand my introversion and embrace who I am, I can use my strengths to be my true self. I’m also learning to better express myself so others understand what’s going on inside me.

00;03;42;08 – 00;04;03;05
David Hall
I try not to leave them guessing, at least not very much. Being more open about who I am inside is working out far better. So stop wearing the mask of who you think others want you to be. Again, it’s fun to pretend to be something on Halloween, but the rest of the year. Be yourself. And I’ve always heard.

00;04;03;05 – 00;04;27;03
David Hall
That’s good advice. Be yourself. However, a recent guest, Richard Newman, the founder of Body Talk and author of You Were Born to Speak. He said that being yourself is not always the best advice. He said in his book, the most common mistake I hear or people discuss effective communication is that you should just be yourself. It sounds reassuring.

00;04;27;20 – 00;04;51;15
David Hall
After all, we can be ourselves. But in fact, it’s terrible advice. Why? Because we have a lifetime of bad habits and behaviors that we need to strip away in order to connect with people more successfully. So according to Richard, many of us have got away from being our true selves. And so often this happens when we’re very young.

00;04;51;23 – 00;05;13;24
David Hall
Richard tells his own story of being an outgoing little kid and then moving to a new house and a new school. And that changed things. He started getting messages about how he was and how he was supposed to be, and I’ve been thinking a lot about that. Reflecting on that since my interview with Richard, and I’ve been thinking back to when I was a little kid.

00;05;13;24 – 00;05;37;01
David Hall
I think I was always a deep thinker. I think I was born a deep thinker with an analytical mind, with a great imagination. However, I don’t think I was born shy or afraid to use my natural gifts. It’s when you start hearing messages like, Why are you so quiet? Speak up. Don’t be shy. Or This is the right way to behave.

00;05;37;02 – 00;06;00;20
David Hall
People do things like this or your way is wrong. I also, like Richard, moved when I was young and that had an impact of being in a new neighborhood, a new school, and receiving these kinds of messages. I could really relate to Richard’s story. What were you like as a kid? Did you get away from some of the true parts of yourself or learn to hide them?

00;06;01;10 – 00;06;27;29
David Hall
So again, I still think that the advice to be yourself is great advice. Sometimes we need to get back to being ourselves. Sometimes, like Richard said, we’ve learned some bad habits and bad beliefs and we need to get rid of those and strip those down to get back to who we really are. And the Quiet, Strong podcast is all about embracing your strengths under your needs and finding success and happiness and being your authentic self.

00;06;29;07 – 00;07;06;19
David Hall
Rene Brown wrote The Gifts of Imperfection and let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are.” I love that subtitle. And here’s a quote from the book Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are. Choosing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries and allow ourselves to be vulnerable, exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are all made of strength and struggle and nurturing that connection and sense of belonging.

00;07;06;20 – 00;07;34;29
David Hall
That can only happen when we believe that we are enough. Authenticity demands wholehearted living and loving, even when it’s hard. Even when we’re wrestling with the shame and fear of not being good enough. And especially when the joy is so intense that we’re afraid to let ourselves feel it. Mindfully practicing authenticity during our most soul-searching struggles is how we invite grace, joy, and gratitude into our lives.

00;07;36;01 – 00;07;59;18
David Hall
I love that quote. It’s a great book. Are you doing the things that you enjoy? Are you setting appropriate boundaries for the things that you don’t? Are you living and doing things with your strengths and your values? Are you living life on your terms? Sometimes we’ve been living in an inauthentic way for far too long, and we need to rediscover or get back to who we are.

00;08;00;15 – 00;08;30;07
David Hall
There’s a few different ways of doing this. So I recently had Becca ribbing on the podcast. She is the coach and author of the Clarity Journal. Here’s a quote from Becca You deserve to achieve amazing things. You deserve to be confident. And above all, you deserve to feel like your dreams are within your reach. So journaling or taking the time to process thoughts and write them down can be a great way to get a great way to gain clarity.

00;08;30;26 – 00;08;53;12
David Hall
Her Clarity journal is full of great prompts to help you explore your strengths and values. As introverts, we have a gift for reflection, and it’s very helpful to let some questions and thoughts guide us. And writing down in response to different prompts can be a very powerful way to articulate and solidify your own thoughts and again, gain that clarity.

00;08;54;13 – 00;09;20;12
David Hall
Another thing is to really just discover who you are and what your strengths are. Many years ago, I read Now Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donal Clifton. It came with the Strengths Finder profile assessment. 34 Distinct Talents or Themes. Strengths Finder gives you your top five talents and it’s Marcus, Buckingham said. You grow most in your areas of greatest strength.

00;09;20;15 – 00;09;44;11
David Hall
You will improve the most, be the most creative, be the most inquisitive and bounce back fastest in those areas where you’ve already shown some natural advantage over everyone else your strengths. This doesn’t mean you should ignore your weaknesses. It just means you’ll grow most where you’re already strong. End quote. I became certified in giving this training. It’s now called Clifton Strengths.

00;09;44;28 – 00;10;12;25
David Hall
The idea is that you focus on your top five. And of course, this assessment’s not about introversion and extroversion. But I have found that using the Myers-Briggs, which is about introversion extroversion and this together can be very helpful to get at different strengths. Of course, when you take different assessments like this, they’re a guide and can maybe confirm some things, you know, and also reveal some areas that you may be gifted.

00;10;13;19 – 00;10;39;15
David Hall
Where you really shine can also help you see how others have different gifts for the Clifton strengths. I’m just going to summarize mine. And again, we’re all different. Your list is going to look unique to you, but at least mine will kind of give you an idea of how these things can help you discover your strengths. So my top five is connectedness, learner analytical ideation, election.

00;10;40;01 – 00;11;07;18
David Hall
Let me explain that a little bit. Connectedness. I believe that we are all connected and I see connections and patterns everywhere. Learner I’m always learning and working to improve analytical. I look for reasons and causes. I’m able to see all the factors in a situation ideation. And again, this isn’t about introversion or extroversion, but I see my introversion here.

00;11;07;26 – 00;11;32;10
David Hall
Ideas never stop, and I really thrive on coming up with new and original thoughts and then election again. This one seems like introversion to me. It’s I’m very introspective and look for intellectual discussion. So those are my top five. And you look at them all together like, how does this make me who I am? And these are strengths of mine.

00;11;32;22 – 00;11;50;16
David Hall
And I didn’t always understand this. Sometimes you’re so close to your own strengths, you don’t realize their strengths. You don’t realize that other people don’t have them. For example, I’m very analytical and I might think everybody’s as analytical as me, and that’s not true. It is a gift I have, but there’s a lot of gifts that I don’t have.

00;11;51;03 – 00;12;15;08
David Hall
For example, if you also look at different Clifton strengths, there’s one called Woo W-O-O and it’s at the bottom of my list. It stands for winning others over and the description says you enjoy the challenge of meeting new people and getting them to like you. Strangers are rarely intimidating to you. Kind of sounds like an extrovert to me.

00;12;16;18 – 00;12;43;26
David Hall
This is not my gift. I do win people over, but it’s definitely not an instant like this one describes, and it’s probably more gradual than it would be for the person that has this woo. Again, I don’t need to be jealous. I understand how I go about things. There’s other gifts on there. Like maybe there’s a gifted storyteller in Clifton strengths that’s called talent of communication.

00;12;44;09 – 00;13;09;13
David Hall
Or The Maximizer has a gift for seeing things, how they can be their very best or the activator. Let’s get things going right away. And this assessment has been a powerful way to look at my natural gifts again that are mine, how they’re strengths, how they’re unique to me. And also it’s really helped to understand others as well.

00;13;10;13 – 00;13;33;29
David Hall
So Marcus Buckingham recently put out a new book, Love and Work. And in this book he continues to talk about our strengths and how we have unique gifts that were meant for us to use. We do our best work and live our best lives and embracing our unique gifts. Here’s a quote from the beginning of the book Your life is not the clamor to be shut out.

00;13;34;03 – 00;14;07;04
David Hall
It is instead the source of all joy, passion, power and contribution. Each day, life is sending you thousands of signals revealing where you are at your best, where your strongest, most creative, most attractive, most special. Each day your life is speaking to you in a language only you can understand. So Marcus Buckingham not only put out the strength quest, but also he did another assessment with his standout book.

00;14;08;01 – 00;14;37;03
David Hall
I highly recommend both of these assessments. In addition to this, he will also say that you can do your own assessment just by reflecting on what strengthens you and what lights you up each day. And as he said in the book, Life is sending you signals each day. And then you listen to these signals and you can work towards bringing more of what strengthens you and what lights you up into your life.

00;14;38;18 – 00;15;02;21
David Hall
Of course, if you’re looking for another assessment, there’s now a free type. Find your personality assessment on the quiet and strong website. This free assessment will give you a brief report, including the four letter Myers-Briggs code. This can be a great tool as you continue to grow in your self-awareness. This assessment does go into introversion, extroversion and many other facets of your personality.

00;15;03;17 – 00;15;27;29
David Hall
We have gifts, we have strengths, we have values, and we need to be true to those. So have fun dressing up on Halloween or at other times, but be sure to take off your mask the rest of the time and be your authentic, successful and happy self. I love good quotes and here’s a couple to close out. You’re the only person on earth who can use your ability.

00;15;28;00 – 00;15;56;06
David Hall
That’s from Zig Ziglar. I was able to hear the late Zig Ziglar speak a few years ago and it was amazing. Or another one from Ralph Waldo Emerson. Make the most of yourself. Or that is all there is of you. And here’s one, especially for the introverts. Amid a world of noisy, shallow actors is noble to stand aside and say, I will simply be Henry David Thoreau.

00;15;57;04 – 00;16;19;24
David Hall
So thank you so much for joining me. I hope you take the time to explore other episodes and learn from our amazing guests. I’d love to connect with you. Reach out at David at Quiet and Strong Dot com or check out the quite a strong dotcom website, which includes blog posts and links to social media for quiet and strong semi topics or guest you’d like to see on the show.

00;16;20;16 – 00;16;30;22
David Hall
There’s so many great things about being an introvert and we need those to be understood. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs and be strong.

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