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Most introverts hate networking. It’s awkward, it’s forced, and it often feels like a waste of time. But what if networking could be fun and effective?

In this episode, David discusses networking with Melitta Campbell, a shy girl who used to hate networking. Through her journey, you’ll discover how she overcame her fears and became a networking expert. By the end of the episode, you’ll learn to network on your own terms and in your own introverted way, and you’ll be ready to take on the world (or at least your next networking event).



Melitta Campbell is a multi-award-winning Business and Mindset Coach who uses her three decades of marketing and entrepreneurial experience to help women confidently build a business that gives them the income, impact and lifestyle they desire.

She is also known for turning being an introvert into a quietly powerful advantage. And, in her best-selling book: A Shy Girl’s Guide to Networking, she shared her VICTORY Formula for success on your own terms.

Melitta is also the host of the Driven Female Entrepreneur podcast, a show that helps women dream bigger and achieve more.

Originally from the UK, she now lives in Switzerland and works with women around the world.


Get Melitta’s Book:  A Shy Girl’s Guide To Networking: A Practical Guide To Networking For Business Success

Website: melittacampbell.com

Melitta’s Social Media: Twitter | Facebook | LinkedIn | Pinterest | Instagram

– – –

Contact the host of the Quiet and Strong Podcast: 

David Hall

Author, Speaker, Educator, Podcaster

quietandstrong.com

Gobio.link/quietandstrong

david [at] quietandstrong.com

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Minding Your Time: Time Management, Productivity, and Success, Especially for Introverts

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Podcast Transcript

00;00;00;00 – 00;00;25;02
Melitta Campbell
The first title that came to me was “Introverts Can,” because I’ve been told so many times, introverts can’t do public speaking. Introverts can’t sell, introverts can’t lead, into introverts can’t do all of these things. And I think, well, that’s just rubbish. You know, actually to my mind, the way we approach a lot of these things, introverts are the best at public speaking, the best and networking, the best at sales.

00;00;25;28 – 00;00;55;17
Melitta Campbell
You know, and I really I think that’s the big myth that introverts can’t do certain things. And often I think we’re our own worst enemy in that we’re thinking, oh, we feel a bit shy and nervous, therefore we can’t network. And but once we learn, as we talked about earlier, a few of the tools, a little bit of structure, a bit of preparation, we’re amazing at these things.

00;00;59;00 – 00;01;22;25
David Hall
Hello and welcome to Episode 93 of the Quiet and Strong Podcast, especially for introverts. I’m your host, David Hall, the creator of Quiet and Strong.com. It’s a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced normally will air each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform.

00;01;23;07 – 00;01;46;03
David Hall
Leave me a review. That would mean a lot to me. Tell a friend about the podcast. Help get the word out there that introversion is a beautiful thing. Movida Campbell is a multi-award winning business and mindset coach who uses her three decades of marketing and entrepreneurial experience to help women confidently build a business that gives them the income impact and lifestyle they deserve.

00;01;46;29 – 00;02;12;23
David Hall
She’s also known for turning being an introvert into a quietly powerful advantage. And in her bestselling book, A Shy Girl’s Guide to Networking, she shared her victory formula for success on your own terms. Melita is also the host of the driven female entrepreneur podcast, a show that helps women dream bigger and achieve more. Originally from the UK, she now lives in Switzerland and works with women all around the world.

00;02;13;23 – 00;02;18;19
David Hall
All right, well, I’m very excited for my guest, Lolita. Lolita, welcome to the Quiet and Strong podcast.

00;02;19;29 – 00;02;21;19
Melitta Campbell
And it’s great to be here today, David.

00;02;22;23 – 00;02;41;10
David Hall
So Lolita, we’re going to talk a lot about your book, The Shy Girls Guide to Networking. But before we do that, let’s talk a little bit about you and your story. At what point did you figure out that you were an introvert and how did you embrace that to become successful in business, to become an author, a podcaster and a lot of other things?

00;02;42;04 – 00;03;10;24
Melitta Campbell
Yeah, it’s been a long journey and I think it was quite late, late in life that I realized I was an introvert and as a child it was always looking back. It’s quite funny. I’d love to go back and observe myself as a child because part of me was really, really shy and walking into school I had anxiety and I hated going into the schoolyard because you never knew if there was going to be any way around that you knew and would you just be left on your own or whatever?

00;03;11;21 – 00;03;44;24
Melitta Campbell
And that was yeah, I didn’t I really hated those moments. But in the classroom I remember being quite loud and I was always picked to be the star of the show when it came to any plays we were putting on and things like that. So there were there was part of me that had that confidence and could speak up and I think it was only when I was working and I was quite deep into my career that we had this Myers-Briggs personality test at one point, and I came out as IAF Day and I was like, Oh, I’m an introvert.

00;03;44;25 – 00;04;05;22
Melitta Campbell
Okay, that’s interesting. And then, well, that makes sense. So it and I think it was even after that that I started to speak about it with other people and say, What does this mean? Because sometimes I’m shy, but sometimes I can do things. And then I realized bit by bit that it has got nothing to do with this being shy at all.

00;04;06;02 – 00;04;32;07
Melitta Campbell
It was more to do with how we get energy and how we can serve that. And as a personality preferences. So it was an interesting journey. But looking back, I saw that throughout my career I had some really amazing mentors, mostly in the CEOs I worked with because I was a reflector and a deep thinker and that your ideas would be pushed around the boardroom.

00;04;32;07 – 00;05;01;16
Melitta Campbell
And suddenly towards the end of the meeting, they knew that I would pop up with something and I’d collaborated all of these ideas and said, okay, well, what I’m hearing is this, but I kind of feel we’re missing something here. And so I think they really valued that skill. And so I didn’t I wasn’t consciously embracing that necessarily, but it was something that really helped me succeed, helped me get the support that I needed to to learn and grow and develop in my career.

00;05;02;23 – 00;05;26;03
Melitta Campbell
So so, yes, I don’t know. I’m not sure if it was a conscious thing, but just these little insights and realizations that you can build on along the way. And then you realize actually when people hear people well, when I hear people talking about introverts as a bad thing or what, they can’t do all of these things. Well, that’s a load of rubbish.

00;05;27;10 – 00;05;45;08
Melitta Campbell
It’s not true at all. And then my kind of inner warrior comes out and wants to change things and speak up. And so I think that’s part of the reason that I started public speaking as well was just to prove to people that you introverts can do whatever they want to do. You know, there’s nothing stopping us back through.

00;05;45;25 – 00;05;49;18
Melitta Campbell
So yeah, so long answer to a short question.

00;05;49;18 – 00;06;16;21
David Hall
Yeah. And that’s definitely the Myers-Briggs is a big part of for me too. Just realizing, oh, this is very natural for me, but there’s great gifts and that’s amazing that you got recognized in work for being able to think and process ideas and they’re waiting to see what you had to say about something, you know, you’re not talking nonstop during the meeting, but you’re reflecting and putting things together and noticing things that could be better are missing.

00;06;16;24 – 00;06;27;28
David Hall
That’s amazing. And that’s something that we have to remember is our way could be the best way for us and we can use our strengths. And that’s awesome. That got recognized in your workplaces.

00;06;27;28 – 00;06;46;04
Melitta Campbell
Yeah, maybe. I was just really lucky with the people that I worked with, but even when I worked in extremely large companies, some of the largest companies in the UK, I saw that pattern happening again. You know, the the extroverts would speak up and put all of these ideas out there, which is great, but I’m kind of filtering them.

00;06;46;04 – 00;07;10;20
Melitta Campbell
And then coming up with some more thoughtful questions a little bit later into the meeting. And quite often some of the senior directors are like, no, I’ve got my dear Avery for a coffee. I’m like, okay. And I think they like that. I didn’t jump on anything too soon. We could really have these thinking partnerships almost. So yeah, it was it was fun.

00;07;10;20 – 00;07;30;19
Melitta Campbell
I really enjoyed it, but feels like a little puzzle sometimes. Okay, with these all the pieces. But how can we make these come together in a way that’s really practical, is going to make an impact for other people and it’s going to be fun. So yeah, and I guess that’s kind of what I do now with my business coaching, but it’s yeah, something that I’ve always enjoyed.

00;07;31;19 – 00;07;49;05
David Hall
Yeah, it can be a little puzzle and I can really relate to what you’re saying and that’s a lot of what this show is about. Help get your strengths recognized for who you are. Your strengths aren’t going to be the same. You’re not going to work the same as somebody else, but you still have something brilliant to offer.

00;07;49;05 – 00;07;50;23
David Hall
And that’s that’s really amazing.

00;07;51;28 – 00;08;24;15
Melitta Campbell
Yeah. And I think they hide from other people. So really, extroverts have this assumption that you’re client shy and you can get discounted quite easily. But I think the worst is when we do that for ourselves. Like myself, I carried that shy girl label for so long and decided, Oh, I’m shy, therefore I can’t do these things and so it was, yeah, I think we can be our own worst enemy sometimes, which is why I particularly love this podcast, because you’re really helping highlight the opposite for people.

00;08;24;15 – 00;08;26;00
Melitta Campbell
So yeah, it’s great.

00;08;27;00 – 00;08;41;20
David Hall
Yeah, absolutely. That’s what it’s all about. It’s like we have our own gifts, so it’s about strengths. What are our strengths? As an introvert and what are our needs? And then some strategies for success. And that’s what we’re talking about today.

00;08;42;11 – 00;09;23;13
Melitta Campbell
Yeah. So I think that that’s a key thing you just mentioned now these strategies. But is it because I think, as you say with introverts, we do like to be a little bit more prepared. We do like to have presort to a certain extent. So having certain frameworks and strategies and things that we can use to assist us in that really do help us to be successful, but they also help us to be more predictable, more dependable and more, more certain that things are going to work out ultimately or for other people to have that belief that when they entrust a project to us that we will see it through to the end to make

00;09;23;13 – 00;09;47;14
Melitta Campbell
that happen, because we have the frameworks, we just have to follow it through. We’re not being spontaneous. We’re not one day being like really all over the next day, not at all like some extroverts can be with the way that their energy is. And so I think that’s really another strength, but maybe something that I’ve started to recognize that supported how I’ve achieved things in my life.

00;09;48;11 – 00;10;10;01
David Hall
Yeah, and it’s absolutely we do like to think, we need to think to gift of ours, but a lot of times we need to do it ahead of time. And, you know, you’re not going to think of everything ahead of time. Like you were saying in that meeting, you’re getting new ideas. But hopefully before the meeting there was an agenda and you were able to think about what the topics were, what you wanted to bring forward, the things you wanted to ask.

00;10;10;14 – 00;10;27;25
David Hall
And that’s where our strengths are. Or you said you like to speak. I do too. I know that I can be a great public speaker, but I have to prepare differently than my extroverted friend might to it. And some of it will be spontaneous. But I have to have a good idea what I’m going to be talking about.

00;10;27;25 – 00;10;30;01
David Hall
Really put a lot of thought into it for it to go well.

00;10;30;21 – 00;10;57;08
Melitta Campbell
Yeah. And I think when you have that structure, so if you’re networking, for example, and you know how to how you’re going to introduce yourself, you know, the stories that you can bring in, you know, you know, you’ve really planned out a lot of parts of the conversation. It then enables you to relax into that conversation and be more spontaneous because, you know, you’re focusing in the right areas and then you can see where that discussion goes.

00;10;57;08 – 00;11;17;20
Melitta Campbell
But you always feel comfortable that within more or less whichever direction it’s going to go in, that you have the tools to manage that. And I think that was a big thing for me because it was scary introducing myself at a networking event back in the day. But then the more scary part was like, Then what do I say?

00;11;18;07 – 00;11;35;15
Melitta Campbell
How do I keep that going? And there’s always that awkward silence and you’re like, Uh, I’m just going to the bathroom. And then people think you have a problem. You’re going order or the worst, because I’m just going to bar. And then you realize, Oh, do you want a drink? And they’re like, Yes. And then you have to go back.

00;11;36;02 – 00;11;38;00
David Hall
Yeah, yeah, right, right, yeah.

00;11;38;12 – 00;12;02;02
Melitta Campbell
Yeah. But yeah, having these frameworks and structures and planning ahead and being super prepared for me at least helped me to be more and more spontaneous as well and, and comfortable that, okay, whatever happens, I can handle it because, you know, confidence isn’t it doesn’t come from knowing you can do it. It comes from trusting yourself to figure things out if whatever happens.

00;12;02;02 – 00;12;07;09
Melitta Campbell
And I think having those frameworks and that preparation enables us to to have that confidence.

00;12;07;24 – 00;12;16;23
David Hall
Yeah, absolutely. So you wrote a Shy Girls Guide to networking. How did you decide to do that?

00;12;16;23 – 00;12;48;06
Melitta Campbell
So I was asked and I can’t remember at what point I was asked to start speaking on this, but I got invited to a few different organizations to speak about how to network because I became known for having this network. And when I stood up and presented it and I talked about how, you know, how I overcame my shyness and how I feel, I network in a different way and how what that means and what that looks like and what tools I use.

00;12;48;17 – 00;13;08;25
Melitta Campbell
People were always really surprised afterwards that, Oh, when I invited you to speak, I had no idea. You’re an introvert. I’m so sorry. Like, why is it? Why is it so? I wouldn’t have accepted it if I was terrified. And I just thought that was a really interesting, interesting response. But also, I could recognize a lot of the introverts in the audience.

00;13;08;25 – 00;13;25;17
Melitta Campbell
And they were doing exactly what I used to do. You could see them hovering because they want to come and say hello, but then they’re like, Can I say hello? What do I what happens next if I say hello? I didn’t know what to do. So I would make a point of going to them and saying, Hi, thanks for being here and helping them do that.

00;13;25;27 – 00;13;47;25
Melitta Campbell
And so that was really nice. But then I thought, well, one, knowing the introverts who feel shy or anyone who feel shy is not necessarily introverts, find it painful to go to networking in the first place. Then reading a book first would be more practical, perhaps. But also I wanted to be able to spread that message further, and I had the structure from the talk and I kind of had to fill in the gaps.

00;13;47;25 – 00;14;09;10
Melitta Campbell
I’ve been stories, flesh out my tools a little bit more so. And I had this idea for a very long time, probably five years before I actually wrote it, and that was from a network I just happened to network someone that helped put me in touch with someone. So you should really meet this lady. We had a chat and I told her it does it does it?

00;14;09;10 – 00;14;28;07
Melitta Campbell
The end of the conversation. I mentioned this book idea and she’s like, Oh, well, I’m a book mentor is part of what I do. Let’s have a chat about it, see if I can help you move forward. So she spoke to we met again and she helped me just give me the kick up the backside really to get it out there.

00;14;28;28 – 00;14;48;04
Melitta Campbell
But then she switched and became a publisher. So she I became her first author. And so so yes, it was very much I had to had it all there, but I just needed that kind of nudge the hardest part of the book. So has been the marketing side of it, because you have to be everywhere out there. The whole time.

00;14;48;04 – 00;15;08;01
Melitta Campbell
I didn’t manage that process very well. So being an introvert, I was just exhausted very quickly from that. So I’m working on my second book at the minute and I’m already thinking, okay, well how can I market myself differently and get that book out there? So but the nice thing with the book is you don’t, you know, it’s always there.

00;15;08;10 – 00;15;21;21
Melitta Campbell
So I can continually like do things to promote it as I go and it’s, it’s still going to work. So but that was that was the hardest part. I think the book was actually then like promoting it afterwards.

00;15;21;21 – 00;15;36;13
David Hall
Yeah, with anything we learn as we go and the next book launch will be better. I know that’s going to be the case for me too. I know there’s a lot of things marketing my book, but I would have done differently and I’m working on my second as well. So we’ll have to talk about our second books, too.

00;15;36;17 – 00;15;37;21
Melitta Campbell
Yeah, absolutely.

00;15;38;25 – 00;15;51;02
David Hall
So one of the stories in your book early on when you were trying to learn to be a better networker as an introvert, you went with a friend that was a polar opposite. What did you learn from that?

00;15;51;02 – 00;16;10;00
Melitta Campbell
Yeah, so I’ve always avoided networking when I lived in London and then I moved to Switzerland where I didn’t know anybody and it became quite apparent when I was just sitting in my apartment on my own that I have to get out and meet people somehow. Otherwise I’m just going to be here on my own the whole time.

00;16;10;00 – 00;16;33;20
Melitta Campbell
I wouldn’t have a career or friends or anything, so I had to get out and network. And there was a lady that I made friends with and she was just she would network for like before work at lunchtime, after work at the week. She loved it. And typical expert, really, that’s how she got her energy. So I asked her is like, can I kind of shadow you?

00;16;33;20 – 00;17;02;02
Melitta Campbell
Because I feel quite nervous when a network and I notice it feels very natural and enjoyable for you. And she’s like, Yeah, I’d love for you to come. So the good part was he introduced me to people, so I didn’t have to worry about that part. That was good. That was done for me. But then the rest of the time I was just watching her and she would have a conversation in one circle while bending backwards and speaking someone in another, waving at someone across the room, you know, she had the the whole room going at the same time.

00;17;02;02 – 00;17;24;23
Melitta Campbell
And like, there was just no way I could ever do that energetically versus, you know, I would feel very fake trying to do that as well. So it was very interesting. But it was, I think the big lesson there for me and perhaps it was the big nudge that made me find my own way and really investigate my own personality.

00;17;24;24 – 00;17;44;29
Melitta Campbell
And what would work was that realization that I could never do it her way. I have to find my own way to do this. So so that was and then that was followed up with and I was invited to a leadership training event over a week. And one of the exercises we had to do was to self coach around a problem we had.

00;17;44;29 – 00;18;15;08
Melitta Campbell
So I chose networking and I came up with my victory formula and then as soon as I put that into practice, it was really help me create my own rules really and what works for me then everything changed really almost overnight and things started to come together about my network very quickly. I started to actually enjoy it and sign up for networking, wanting to go, not thinking, Oh, I should actually want to go to these things.

00;18;15;08 – 00;18;25;07
Melitta Campbell
So, so that was the big thing. But yeah, it was that realization that I have to do it my way that, that, that prompted me to, to move forward.

00;18;26;03 – 00;18;50;02
David Hall
Yeah. I had a really similar experience with a friend that was an extrovert and sounds a lot like your friend, and that was one of my big epiphanies, just like you’re describing that this is it, my way is never going to be my way. It’s not natural. It’s very draining. It’s not effective. And it’s a brilliant gift that she has in her way to network.

00;18;50;10 – 00;19;07;17
David Hall
But it’s not my gift. But I do have my own gifts. And just like you’re saying, I can succeed on my terms. That was a huge epiphany for me, and I didn’t want to network like her. That was it. That wasn’t going to be my goal. I’m going to want to not bounce around but get to know people on a deeper level.

00;19;07;21 – 00;19;15;27
David Hall
That was just a big epiphany for me that my gifts were mine, like you’re saying. So you mentioned that your victory formula tell us about that.

00;19;17;05 – 00;19;39;25
Melitta Campbell
Yeah. So it’s a what is it? And you can’t say the word, you know, where each letter stands. Yes. Yeah. So the B is all about having a vision and knowing your values. And that was my start point is like, well, what, how do I want to show up in the world? What, what do I want to stand for?

00;19;39;25 – 00;19;59;16
Melitta Campbell
What do I mean? And why am I even bothering to do this? So that was really my start point and that that was huge because suddenly it helped me realize, well, I didn’t want to be like this other lady that was just flitting around the place as as you said, I want to I want to meet people and know who these people are.

00;19;59;23 – 00;20;20;22
Melitta Campbell
I want to understand them and see, well, how do they fit in my network? How can I be of value to them and and think differently about it. And so just knowing how I wanted to show up enabled me to have more confidence and reminded me to do that too. I’m one of I condense it down to just three words.

00;20;21;02 – 00;20;43;10
Melitta Campbell
So I think it was open serving and bold because I wanted to remind myself to be a bit bolder and but just reminding myself that those three words every time I went into a conversation or moved into a circle, really helped me to shift my focus before I think I was making it all about me. Oh gosh, I am going to be center stage.

00;20;43;22 – 00;21;10;13
Melitta Campbell
But understanding that no, I wanted to be open and encouraging and serve the people put took the pressure off as well. And then I was intentional. So it was like taking that vision and then deciding, Yeah, that’s my vision. But I am committed to taking steps to make this happen because you can’t just think these things. You have to actually back that up with some action as well and then see is the courage.

00;21;10;27 – 00;21;40;11
Melitta Campbell
So having this courage to build my confidence because a confidence is what comes afterwards. You need the courage first to take that step and then the confidence what you take away with you bit by bit every time you do something brave. And then the rest of the former, it’s all about creating my own rules of engagement and allowing myself give myself permission to, you know, if I go to an event and I just have one conversation and I feel that’s enough, I’m done.

00;21;40;11 – 00;21;59;05
Melitta Campbell
I don’t have anything else to give because sometimes at the end of a long day, you don’t have much to give you don’t want to stay out and network for hours. Sometimes you can, sometimes you can’t. But if that was the situation, that that’s okay. I did have just one conversation and and leave and that’s okay or I could leave.

00;21;59;05 – 00;22;17;27
Melitta Campbell
And, you know, very often there these events are in a hotel lobby or a hotel. So you can go into the lobby and just chill out for a bit, recharge your batteries, go for a little walk, come back in. You know, you don’t have to be there the whole time. And and just go with whatever felt good for me.

00;22;18;07 – 00;22;26;00
Melitta Campbell
And then the very first last letter, of course, the Y is like, you’ve got this. Just remind myself. Yeah, just go for it.

00;22;26;00 – 00;22;46;29
David Hall
Yeah, that’s great. I especially like the way to remind yourself you got this. That sounds great. And, you know, it’s just the way you’re doing things. You just have to keep in mind your own needs. If you do need to take a break, that’s great. I know there was times in my life early on that I might have felt strange about taking a break by myself, but it works.

00;22;46;29 – 00;22;48;14
David Hall
You know what works for you?

00;22;49;12 – 00;23;00;22
Melitta Campbell
Yeah. I think we can very quickly fall into, in all aspects of life, this idea that I’ll. We should do this. I should just do that. I need to do that. And then suddenly was like, according to who?

00;23;01;06 – 00;23;02;24
David Hall
Right, right, right, right.

00;23;03;12 – 00;23;06;20
Melitta Campbell
So yeah. So you can make up your own rules and it’s perfectly fine.

00;23;08;03 – 00;23;20;19
David Hall
So how do you think your traits or our traits as introverts are an advantage? No. In the book you called it a zone of genius. What is your zone of genius? How do you find out what your zone of genius is?

00;23;21;10 – 00;23;46;29
Melitta Campbell
No, great question. So I think it’s one of these things evolves over time that you suddenly get these little insights and clues as you go. Some people know that zone of genius early on in life that others and for me it was it was always there. When I look back, I was always playing up to that, but I hadn’t quite recognized it and I wasn’t using it to my advantage as much as I could have.

00;23;48;12 – 00;24;15;05
Melitta Campbell
But it was really on reflection, and I went out to my network and asked a handful of people I trust is what is it you’ve noticed? I do well, maybe better than other people do that perhaps I haven’t noticed for myself. And it and I thought because my background is in marketing and communication and I was sure they were going to come back, would say, oh, communication, because that was my expertize.

00;24;16;06 – 00;24;42;09
Melitta Campbell
It was really interesting that they all came back and said connection, that they’ve always been impressed with how I make connections between events, between people, between ideas, between various different things and put those together in a new and different way that has that adds value and adds impact and changes the way that other people see things. I think that’s fascinating.

00;24;42;09 – 00;25;06;21
Melitta Campbell
And then when I understood that and started to reflect on it, I thought, yeah, you know, when I’m sitting with someone, I do it. It’s almost I had a friend who’s a psychologist and she was like, Yeah, I get the impression that your mind’s a little bit like, that’s that scene in Minority Report where they have the images and they move things around and it’s all very, very visual and comes together and is like, it’s exactly like that.

00;25;06;21 – 00;25;22;05
Melitta Campbell
People tell me things and I can visually see them and then they kind of move around until they make sense. For me. And they have like this some kind of framework or system that you think, Oh, okay, well, it fits together this way and then this and then sharing that back to people that. How did you get that?

00;25;22;05 – 00;25;49;07
Melitta Campbell
From what I told you, what I told you was nothing like that. And I was like, Well, that’s the images that I see. So I think when they said that connection it made, it made the connection for me, it’s like, yeah, that is that is absolutely it. And looking back, even as a child, as helping people really and I think has a lot to do with that value because people that’s something that really annoyed me is when people don’t see just how valuable they are, just how unique and talented they are.

00;25;49;07 – 00;26;19;23
Melitta Campbell
And and that’s something that I’ve spotted with the things that they do is spotting these the patterns between that that is really embracing their value that they’ve missed. And then feeding that back to them. And I remember doing that even as a young child and one friend, as I think we must have been about seven and she’d made me her dad was a silversmith and she’d made me this beautiful silver bracelet as a thank you for helping her understand who she was and that she could do something.

00;26;19;23 – 00;26;39;01
Melitta Campbell
And her dad was I knew she always felt very timid about this. You helped her believe in that. And, you know, thank you so much. Okay. Thank you for this bracelet. You know, so I think it’s always been something that’s been there. But often our zone of genius is is hiding in plain sight. It feels so easy for us.

00;26;39;01 – 00;26;56;18
Melitta Campbell
We don’t recognize it. So it’s it’s a great exercise to go out to just a handful of people, not too many people, but enough people that you’ll see the patterns we south of where your, your, your real strengths lie. And yeah, it’s, it’s a fun exercise to do.

00;26;57;16 – 00;27;22;26
David Hall
Yeah. Half the population are introverts, so we don’t all have the same gifts. It sounds like we’re very similar. I also I’ve thought of that too, like, you know, kind of like the 3D image, you know, I can see all the pieces. I’m a very big picture person, but I see how all the pieces fall into place. So it sounds like we may be a little similar there where you can put together all the connections, but other people are going to have different strengths as introverts.

00;27;23;08 – 00;27;54;24
David Hall
And that’s the important thing. And that’s one way to find out, is ask people, you know, sometimes it’s reflecting ourselves or, you know, earlier we talked about taking like the Myers-Briggs. You said you were I and f j I am similar. Am I in t j and the N stands for intuitive. And that’s a gift where we know things and it’s not, you know, sometimes it just comes to us and sometimes people don’t that are not intuitive, don’t understand where we get some of our information from.

00;27;55;04 – 00;28;16;08
David Hall
But it is. It is. It’s definitely a gift. And like you said, sometimes we are so close to our own gifts that we don’t see that they’re gifts we don’t see. We just think, well, everybody’s like this, right? And it’s not true. But at the same time, everybody has gifts. And so, you know, like you’re saying, we can also help other people discover what their gifts are.

00;28;16;08 – 00;28;18;04
David Hall
And that’s a lot of what this is about.

00;28;19;01 – 00;28;32;01
Melitta Campbell
Yeah, exactly. And I think when it comes when something comes to you so naturally and easily, we can discount it as well. You know, everyone can do that as easy. We don’t realize that. And you know, that’s not the case.

00;28;32;19 – 00;28;50;11
David Hall
Yeah. And the gift you described, not everybody has it, but you can definitely use it to help other people discover their own uniqueness and their own gifts that they’re bringing to the world. Also on this show, we we talk about myths of introversion. Is there a myth of introversion or too that you want to bust today?

00;28;52;04 – 00;29;09;12
Melitta Campbell
Yeah, I think there’s this myth and I’m sure it’s come up lots of times. I won’t go into that. The idea that introverts are shy, but the biggest one, you know, when I first started writing my book and mapping it out and it was always going to be a series of books and it still will be when I actually get writing.

00;29;10;29 – 00;29;37;04
Melitta Campbell
But the first title that came to me was Introverts Can, because I’ve been told so many times, introverts can’t do public speaking, introverts can’t. So introverts can’t lead into it’s can’t do all of these things. And I think, well, that’s just rubbish. You know, actually to my mind, the way we approach a lot of these things, introverts are the best at public speaking, the best and networking the best is sales.

00;29;37;04 – 00;29;59;22
Melitta Campbell
You know, and I really I think that’s the big myth that introverts can’t do certain things. And and often I think we’re our own worst enemy in that we’re thinking, oh, we feel a bit shy and nervous, therefore we can’t network. And but once we learn, as we talked about earlier, a few of the tools, a little bit of structure, a bit of preparation, we’re amazing at these things.

00;30;00;03 – 00;30;02;09
Melitta Campbell
So yeah, that’s the biggest, I think.

00;30;02;29 – 00;30;26;06
David Hall
Yeah. And I say similar things. It’s like introverts, you know, you can say fill in the blank. They can’t be good public speakers, they can’t be good leaders. They can’t. That’s not true. Just like you’re saying. And I just say our approach is going to be different. We both love public speaking, but if we were to compare to how maybe an extroverted colleague prepared for a public speech, it would look very different.

00;30;26;11 – 00;30;37;02
David Hall
And often they don’t have to prepare as much and they might get up and give a great speech. Everybody loves them and that’s not going to work that way for me. You know?

00;30;37;02 – 00;31;02;04
Melitta Campbell
Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I think that’s so true. But there is no one approach that works for anyone in anything, introvert or extrovert. So it does take a bit of trial and error to find your own approach. And I think you listening to shows like this, speaking to other people to see what’s what other people do and sort of try that on for size and see what fits and okay.

00;31;02;04 – 00;31;20;06
Melitta Campbell
Well, this bit feels really comfortable that one, that’s just not for me. And then bit by bit, piecing together your own strategies I think is really powerful and it’s it’s kind of fun as well. Basically, when you discover something that you think, Oh, never thought of that, but it works brilliantly. It’s yeah, it’s a great moment.

00;31;21;08 – 00;31;27;28
David Hall
Yeah. So let’s bring that back to networking. What is a way that you approach networking that looks different from an extrovert?

00;31;29;05 – 00;31;55;09
Melitta Campbell
I think that perhaps the biggest realization was so, well, the lady that I followed, she connected people in the room. She was mixing people around. She was just she was there and everywhere. And I was the opposite. I wasn’t everywhere. But I would have one or two great conversations and really get to know somebody. And then because she would connect, people just say, Oh, you two should meet.

00;31;55;27 – 00;32;14;21
Melitta Campbell
But I’d be like, Well, you two should meet because you’re looking for this and they’re looking for that. And that’s both what you have because I understood them and that’s why I got known for my network, is not that I know every one, although everyone always says, Oh, you know everybody. It’s just that their friend was starting a new company and she’s all, I really need to find someone like this.

00;32;14;21 – 00;32;49;29
Melitta Campbell
Like, Oh, well, you need to speak to so-and-so. And, you know, everyone is like I do. I just know who the people are in my network on a deep enough level that I can connect them and make the right connections almost. So I think that’s definitely something that we can do. That’s different. And when you have a conversation with someone and you’re really listening and you’re really invested in in them and giving that time and attention, I think that’s one of the biggest gifts we can give people because nobody gets time and attention anymore in our modern world.

00;32;49;29 – 00;33;18;28
Melitta Campbell
It’s so fast. It’s so like like diluted that I think that’s something that we can use. How we can use our gifts make real difference for other people and be known for the right reasons as well. So that’s I think that’s the thing that has helped me build my network, helped me build my brand and my reputation is just having those just building relationships one step at a time and then following up with people.

00;33;18;28 – 00;33;38;11
Melitta Campbell
But only those people that I want to know is there some people I meet when I’m networking and I get to know them and I really don’t want to get them into so many more? That is not someone that I feel that I connect with that has a place in my network. So I do follow up with them and I think that’s key to guiding energy as well.

00;33;38;11 – 00;34;06;14
Melitta Campbell
Just picking and choosing, well, who am I really going to build a relationship with and just follow up with them just time to time I saw this and thought of you or, you know, that conversation we were having. It’s funny, I spoke to this person and they had very similar views. I can I introduce you or you just small things that you do with intention and thought and care and that’s what I’ve done that both as but my networking.

00;34;06;14 – 00;34;12;09
Melitta Campbell
I see my reputation in that respect but it was easy to do. It’s very manageable as well.

00;34;13;00 – 00;34;20;22
David Hall
You were also talking about your your brand. How do you bring that into networking, building your personal brand?

00;34;20;22 – 00;34;42;07
Melitta Campbell
So we all have a brand, whether we know it or not. The brand is your personal brand. Certainly is how people think of you when you’re not in the room, when they go home, when they reflect on the networking event and how they feel about you, what do they understand about your personality? How do they fit within your network?

00;34;42;15 – 00;35;14;00
Melitta Campbell
All of these things and that’s your brand. So being intentional about how you show up will help build the brand the way you want to. So it’s worth thinking about how do you want to be remembered? What do you want to be remembered for? What is helpful to be remembered for? And then being a little bit more intentional about, if you will, how can I prepare beforehand to introduce myself and what stories can I bring in and what questions can I ask that highlight my brand?

00;35;14;10 – 00;35;35;24
Melitta Campbell
And then it doesn’t always go that way. You never quite know how a conversation is going to go. But having that preparedness and having that said the three questions or three words that remind me how want to show up and how I want to be remembered. Saying that to myself internally before I go into the conversation definitely impacts the way that I.

00;35;36;05 – 00;36;12;22
Melitta Campbell
I show up within that conversation as well. So I think it’s not about being fake at all, but really and you know, you talking on your recent episode about how we don’t necessarily want to show up as our true selves, but is like, well, how do we want to be remembered? How what is it about ourselves that we can bring out to help other people and how can being the best vessels but in in a kind of simple prepared way that’s going to have that lasting impact and yeah, for other people.

00;36;12;22 – 00;36;19;17
David Hall
As an introvert, did you have to learn how to maintain conversations? Yes. Okay. How did you do that?

00;36;20;24 – 00;36;49;21
Melitta Campbell
So I think that’s the hardest part. And it was interesting. I think it might have been in Susan Cain’s book Quiet, that she’s saying if introverts do small, do do small talk, but it’s afterwards we have the deep talk to get to know someone and then we do the small talk to relax. It’s not the other way around, but it is it’s finding that balance as well, because if you ask people deep questions too soon, then, you know, they do think it’s weird.

00;36;50;06 – 00;37;14;27
Melitta Campbell
You know, often unless you come across another introvert and that is Happy Days, but and so it’s managing that balance and it was all just preparedness. So I, I like to introduce myself and always use a pattern of three. So I introduce three things about what I do. So the other person then can tell me, oh, well, tell me more about how you people, how you help people communicate their value through to their sales.

00;37;14;27 – 00;37;35;07
Melitta Campbell
How does that work? Oh, that’s what they’re interested in. So then I’ve got three things around the sales side of the work I do, how I talk about that and maybe it’s a a client story that I can bring in or some a funny anecdote or something around that, and then they can say, Oh, well, this, and they respond.

00;37;35;07 – 00;37;58;19
Melitta Campbell
They will always respond to one thing in that conversation and they’ve always kind of planned, okay, well, what’s the next three things going down? Almost like a flow chart. And that could help me in this conversation. And then looking for some topical things that you can bring into the conversation. There’s a couple of stories that stood out for you and then some evergreen stories like this best pen.

00;37;58;19 – 00;38;17;27
Melitta Campbell
Nothing you read in my book that you can bring in anytime. You know, there’s these universal stories that are always, you can say, quite in a short space of time that entertainingly have a point to them and sometimes a little bit of a twist, but you can prepare them in advance and then you say, oh, that reminds me of, you know, the space pen.

00;38;18;17 – 00;38;38;17
Melitta Campbell
And then you just have this little story and then it just move things along a little bit. So being prepared, having this all of these little stories in my back pocket really helps to keep the conversation going. And it’s, I think, networking and public speaking go really nicely together because for public speaking, you have to prepare a talk.

00;38;38;26 – 00;38;57;20
Melitta Campbell
And within that talk, there’s lots of stories and points. And then you can as I prepare more talks, I found that it was easier to network because I was like, Oh, I could just bring in this little thing. And I’ve prepared it nicely in a nice little structure. So I find that the to feed each other in a way.

00;38;58;09 – 00;39;07;27
David Hall
Yeah. So just really keeping track of your stories and being able to tell them whether it be in a public speech or in conversation. That’s, that’s great.

00;39;08;11 – 00;39;23;11
Melitta Campbell
Yeah. And you don’t need hundreds of these stories. You just need like three examples of different types that you can then bring in and you and your build your bank of stories as you go as well to do. You might borrow one from someone else that you hear.

00;39;24;11 – 00;39;45;06
David Hall
Yeah. And you brought up small talk. And as introverts we do like the deeper conversations. And some people struggle with small talk or they just don’t like it. But I’ve learned that it is a necessary thing. I’ve had the experience where I’ve I’ve had both experiences where I tried to go too deep, too fast with somebody and it struck them as weird.

00;39;45;06 – 00;39;53;05
David Hall
I thought it was normal, but it struck them as strange. And I’ve also had conversations with introverts where we did just jump into the deep topics and it was just fine.

00;39;54;01 – 00;40;15;19
Melitta Campbell
Yeah, yeah, exactly. And it’s you learn through your mistakes at the same previously. So but I think the big thing is what I used to do is if I got it wrong, I would replay that, get the train home after networking events. Oh, you were so stupid for saying that and this was awful. And they’re going to think this, you know, really?

00;40;15;19 – 00;40;37;15
Melitta Campbell
And I don’t do that. There’s really not the way to build up your networking confidence at all. But it is better to say when these things happened. Well, that was interesting. And I take the lesson and then leave the rest. They leave the guilt behind. It’s really doesn’t help you at all. And and then just take that lesson into the next interaction.

00;40;38;01 – 00;40;44;10
David Hall
Absolutely. So then what do you do? What’s some of your strategies for follow up after the event?

00;40;45;24 – 00;41;12;23
Melitta Campbell
Yeah, I think I know. As I was saying earlier, it’s just keeping it simple, keeping it personal. You can I’m not terribly organized, I have to say. I’m really start Trello boards to track people and then forget I’ve got a travel book, but often something will stand out for me, like as something. Maybe it’s a training I’ve created or a talk I’ve listened to or an article I read.

00;41;12;23 – 00;41;32;19
Melitta Campbell
And it will, I will think, Oh, so-and-so would really like that. Or reminds me of this conversation, and then I’ll share it with them. Or it’s, you know, I’ll suddenly think, Oh, I’m going to this place who I know there and how can I connect with them? And and just, you know, it’s I’m not as planned as perhaps I maybe I shouldn’t admit this.

00;41;34;04 – 00;41;34;23
Melitta Campbell
I could be.

00;41;34;23 – 00;41;38;09
David Hall
I won’t tell anybody.

00;41;38;09 – 00;42;06;03
Melitta Campbell
But it is that those personal moments, I think and it’s it’s not it’s not trying too hard. It’s it’s not overworking it, but just simple, natural things that are relevant to the conversation or the person. And just sometimes it’s even a year between follow ups with people and but even then, it’s, it’s, it maintains that relationship and, and they’re like, oh, so nice to hear from you or whatever.

00;42;06;08 – 00;42;26;17
Melitta Campbell
I think actually, funny enough, I think about you the other day and you know, and then we have a little conversation and then it comes to a natural end and that’s that. But, you know, just thinking of these, keeping it in the back of your mind always like how could this be helping with my follow up? How could this help people in my network who would be who else would be interested in this?

00;42;26;17 – 00;42;28;09
Melitta Campbell
I’m doing these small things along the way.

00;42;29;09 – 00;42;36;20
David Hall
Okay. So for you, it’s really just a thoughtful approach. How can I help somebody else? You know, what do I know about them? Is that accurate?

00;42;37;10 – 00;42;55;19
Melitta Campbell
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I think that fits in with my personal brand. You know, I wanted to be known as someone who who serves, who cares, who understands, who has is is has the resources and the knowledge as well in certain respects. So it it reinforces that brand as well.

00;42;55;19 – 00;43;05;21
David Hall
Yeah. And so it’s not all about, you know, what you might gain, but you’re really helping other people. Yeah. And those connections which you have a gift for.

00;43;05;21 – 00;43;27;12
Melitta Campbell
Yeah, absolutely. And I think networking is 100% giving value first. It’s serving other people. It’s is giving value. And then at some point in time, you know, your network is better than Google because if you have a question and you Google it, you come up with all these ideas, but you don’t know which is the best one for you, for your situation.

00;43;27;12 – 00;43;50;10
Melitta Campbell
You don’t know what to do next. Go to your network and ask that question and you say, Oh, I think David would know about this. So and then you’re like, Oh, I don’t know. But so and so does. And then you find the real expert who can give you Tailormade advice. So it’s yeah, it’s, it’s great to have that resource, but to put the value in it first before you take anything away.

00;43;50;26 – 00;43;51;19
David Hall
Yeah, absolutely.

00;43;51;19 – 00;44;15;18
Melitta Campbell
And sometimes the value that you can give to people is asking for their expertize. That recognition, oh, she’s recognized that I’m an expert in this and this is my thing is already valued. So sometimes we are afraid to ask people for advice and help. But actually, if we turn around and think, well, if people ask me, oh, you know, all about this, can you answer this question?

00;44;15;18 – 00;44;20;28
Melitta Campbell
You know, it does make you feel recognized and seen so that that can be valuable as well.

00;44;21;13 – 00;44;27;23
David Hall
Yeah, very true. And then just the last thing on networking, what’s your secrets for online networking?

00;44;29;03 – 00;44;53;20
Melitta Campbell
Same thing. I think people think of online networking as as different, but it’s not it’s still about just making those initial connections and start building a relationship from there. You know, so many people that I do in the networking conversation and they’ll just dump their LinkedIn link in the chat and expect I don’t know why they do that.

00;44;53;23 – 00;45;18;03
Melitta Campbell
What do you expect me to do? You know, who are you? I think not just really rude. That’s like being in a networking situation and just thrusting your business card at someone and walking away and not even saying hello first. So, you know, being prepared, having your stories, this kind of thing, it’s all the same online. And so that’s my biggest step is don’t even think of it as different.

00;45;18;28 – 00;45;43;09
Melitta Campbell
It just broadens out the opportunities because now, you know, we can talk, which we couldn’t do without without this online world we wouldn’t have met. But so it does open up the sphere of possibilities. But you still want to build relationships. People are still people. You still want to be showing up the way that you want to be remembered and all of these great things as well.

00;45;43;09 – 00;45;47;16
Melitta Campbell
So yeah, so that’s my big tip with online. Don’t think of it as any different.

00;45;48;04 – 00;45;59;00
David Hall
Yeah, that’s really good advice. That’s really good advice. And like I said, I mean, you know, we’re 9 hours apart, but we’re able to have this great conversation and get to know each other. And it’s amazing what we can do online.

00;45;59;13 – 00;46;01;20
Melitta Campbell
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

00;46;01;20 – 00;46;10;04
David Hall
So we’ve talked networking, especially as an introvert. Is there anything else that we didn’t talk about that you want to do?

00;46;10;04 – 00;46;39;09
Melitta Campbell
I think we we’ve covered so much, but I think I think it comes back to this idea of, you know, introverts can and to look for ways to build your own self-belief, to be your own cheerleader and to recognize your skills and talents and values because when we are living in what we what is perceived to be an extrovert world, I mean, it isn’t because it’s 5050, as you say.

00;46;39;09 – 00;47;01;29
Melitta Campbell
And my world is business and entrepreneurship and the majority of business owners are introverts, in fact. And so it really isn’t an extrovert world at all. But I think we have to we have a responsibility to ourselves to to recognize our gifts, embrace those and celebrate them, and build our own self-belief and be our own cheerleaders along the way as well.

00;47;01;29 – 00;47;09;18
Melitta Campbell
And to remind ourselves that we may be introverted, but we absolutely can do anything we want. We choose to.

00;47;09;18 – 00;47;13;26
David Hall
Well said. Well said. So what’s the latest thing that you’re working on?

00;47;15;12 – 00;47;40;25
Melitta Campbell
So a few things that the minute is all going a bit crazy. You know, that moment where you have nicely spread out projects and then they all kind of things change and they will happen at once. So I’m working on a mindset that at Cisco with a group of mindset coaches who are mostly introverts, actually funny, know. And so I’m really looking forward to getting that out there.

00;47;40;25 – 00;48;08;26
Melitta Campbell
And it starts in November. It’s a is a 12 month journey that we’re going to take people on to really dove deep into their beliefs, their values and how we bring those out through our the way we conduct ourselves. It’s mainly for business owners that one we look at, we look at marketing and sales and visibility and all these things that we need to embrace and do our own way and that we may have these blocks around.

00;48;08;26 – 00;48;34;07
Melitta Campbell
So I’m really excited about getting that out there in November. Obviously, working on my second book, which we working with my mindset team, we were encouraging each other the other day to overcome procrastination and say that I was like, Yeah, I book and I actually collated what I had in talks. I produced and transcribed those and pulled it all together and I’ve already got 75 pages of the it needs an edit.

00;48;34;07 – 00;48;53;21
Melitta Campbell
I was like, I’m halfway there. Brilliant. And so those are my big new projects. But then of course it continued to serve my community of business owners and to continue supporting them through my, my coaching and my programs is, is an ongoing project. I love it as well.

00;48;54;11 – 00;48;57;24
David Hall
Yeah. And of course, where can people find out more about this work that you’re doing?

00;48;59;02 – 00;49;21;17
Melitta Campbell
So the easiest way is to via my website basically you can type Melitta Campbell into anything as  Melitta with two T’s and you will find me. I remember being at a dinner party and I was IMing in what to call my business was like, do I struggling to find something unique? And then they said, How do I find you type Melissa Campbell into anything and you find me.

00;49;22;11 – 00;49;34;19
Melitta Campbell
Oh. So I was like, I’ll already go with a brand that already have that was gifted to me by my parents. And so I’m you can find me on my website and I’m very active on LinkedIn as well.

00;49;34;29 – 00;49;42;19
David Hall
Okay. I’ll put that in the show notes as well. Mm. This has been a wonderful conversation, such good information. Thank you so much for being on the show today.

00;49;43;16 – 00;49;46;19
Melitta Campbell
I’ve really enjoyed it. Thanks, David.

00;49;46;19 – 00;50;07;02
David Hall
Thank you so much for joining me. I look forward to further connecting with you. Reach out to David at Quietandstrong.com or check out the quiet and strong dot com website, which includes blog posts, links to social media and other items. Send me topics or guests you would like to see on the show if you’re interested in getting to know yourself better.

00;50;07;02 – 00;50;35;24
David Hall
There’s now a free type finder personality assessment on the quiet and strong website. This free assessment will give you a brief report, including the four-letter Myers-Briggs code. All add a link to the show notes. There’s so many great things about being an introvert, so we need those to be understood. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs and be strong.

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