As introverts, we long to make connections. It is just that the connections we want to make are deep. This has been a challenge for me. It usually takes some time to for me get to know others and then as I slowly get to know them, it takes even more time to find those people that I can form deep connections with.
Laurie Helgoe, in Introvert Power states “For introverts, the best associations start with ideas. If you don’t feel a part of your neighborhood association or the happy hour regulars after work, don’t force it. The community that surrounds you may not be your community. Give yourself the gift of the outside world that represents you. Volunteer for a cause you care about. Post an online profile and find other people who love Elvis, quantum physics, and tennis. Audition for a play or audit a college course. Attend a workshop or conference on something that fascinates you. Do what you love a little more publicly, and your people will come.”
When it comes to finding these deeper relationships, “don’t force it” is something helpful to remember. I have been living by this “don’t force it” motto when I am at work, out in the community, or various social gatherings. I don’t try to be all things to all people as I once did. I don’t feel bad if I am not “working the room”. But rather, I look for those deeper connections I might form. It often takes more time forming friendships as an introvert, so be patient and remember, don’t force it.