Ep 67 - Introverts and Personality Type with Megan Malone

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Show Notes

Are you an introvert who sometimes feels misunderstood?

In this episode of the Quiet and Strong podcast, guest Megan Malone discusses the basics of introversion and different personality types in the Myers-Briggs personality system. She also discusses how to understand yourself and others better. If you’re interested in learning more about understanding your personality, be sure to listen to this episode!

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Megan Malone is a career coach and marketing consultant. She is passionate about helping people improve their relationships, career, and quality of life through coaching and tools like personality type. Megan is a Certified Coach and is currently pursuing a Master’s degree in Organizational Development. She is a certified profiler in the Myers-Briggs personality system. She currently lives in Fort Worth, Texas, with her husband and two pups.

Guest: Megan Malone
 
Contact Megan:

Megan’s Book:  
The Complete Guide to Understanding The INFJ Personality Type

Instagram:
 @coachwithmegan

Twitter: 
@meganmmalone

TikTok: 
meganmmalone

– – –

Contact the Host of the Quiet and Strong Podcast:

David Hall

Author, Speaker, Educator, Podcaster

quietandstrong.com
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david [at] quietandstrong.com

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Timestamped Overview

00:02:17 The author struggled with social anxiety and burnout before realizing they were an introvert. They learned to set boundaries, quit their job, and become a coach to cater to their personality preferences.


00:07:58 Listening and thoughtfulness are strengths. Quality over quantity valued in work and writing. Introverted tendency to go inward and analyze deeply.


00:10:27 Individual realized anxiety and disconnection from emotions due to not paying attention to personal needs, later discovered introversion as a possible cause and saw improvement after addressing the issue.


00:13:31 Balance is important in managing time and relationships, pandemic highlighted challenges for introverts, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach.


00:17:10 Increasing confidence by accepting innate personality traits and challenging oneself outside of comfort zones leads to personal growth and development.


00:21:29 Myers Briggs is a personality test with 16 types categorized into four spectrums: introvert/extrovert, intuition/sensations, thinking/feeling, and judging/perceiving. It helps understand one’s personality in-depth and recognizes different flavors of introverts.


00:27:17 INFJ and INTJ share similarities, both introverted and future and goal-oriented, but differ in thinking and feeling. Communication struggles can arise due to emotional vs. logical mindset. It is important to be self-aware and understanding of differences in the workplace.


00:30:14 Balance is important in personal development and relationships; accepting differences and being open to understanding others helps with conflict and challenges.


00:33:55 Understanding differences is key to avoiding conflict. Personality types are important in relationships. Communication and learning is necessary for understanding each other’s needs for alone time.


00:37:45 Sensors focus on specifics, Intuitives focus on big picture, conflict can arise, balance is important.


00:42:31 Understanding personality can help resolve workplace conflicts by finding mutually beneficial solutions.


00:46:03 Embrace your strengths, find ways to support them, look for small changes to improve your life and focus on improving and growing into your strengths.


00:48:21 Megan can be found on social media including Instagram, Twitter and TikTok with her username as coachwithmegan. She works for trudities as a content writer and has a book about INFJs available on Amazon.


Podcast Transcript

Megan Malone [00:00:00]:

but I really do think it kind of just comes down to like you just said, embracing yourself, embracing your strengths and also finding ways to kind of pave a path in life that’s gonna really support those strengths and those natural tendencies that you have and I think that’s something that is really possible for most people, you know there’s always gonna be external circumstances outside of our control, but maybe there’s small ways within your life that you can carve a little bit more time for yourself.

David Hall [00:00:38]:

Hello, and welcome to the Quiet and Strong Podcast, especially for introverts. I’m your host David Hall, and the creator of quietstrong.com. It’s a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts. Introversion is not something to fix. but to be embraced. Normally, we’ll air each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform. Leave a review. Tell a friend. help get the word out there. Megan Malone is a career coach and marketing consultant. She is passionate about helping people improve their relationships career and quality of life through coaching and tools like personality type. Megan is a certified coach, and currently pursuing a master’s degree in organizational development. She’s a certified profiler in the Myers Briggs personality system. She currently lives in Fort Worth, Texas with her husband and 2 pups.

David Hall [00:01:33]:

Alright. Welcome to the quiet and strong podcast Megan. So glad to have you on the show today.

Megan Malone [00:01:39]:

Yes. Thank you for having me. Alright. If I didn’t meet her.

David Hall [00:01:43]:

We’re gonna talk about the strengths and needs of introverts. You know, Megan, I I he’s letting you know that I’ve been reading your blogs and articles for a lot of years now, and I just thought it’d be great to have you on the show and talk about introversion.

Megan Malone [00:01:58]:

Yeah. Thank you. Well, this is something that I always enjoy talking about. So Alright.

David Hall [00:02:04]:

And before we get started on that, just tell us a little bit about yourself and your journey to understanding that you were introvert and starting to write about introversion and now coaching?

Megan Malone [00:02:17]:

Yeah. So when I was younger, I was definitely always shy and had some social anxiety as a child, as a teenager. But I also really enjoy people, and I thought of myself as a people person. I was very friendly. I enjoy building, like, strong connections with people. but I didn’t really understand what being an introvert was until I was in college. So I kind of had this disconnect in that I on one hand, I was a little bit shy. On the other hand, I wanted to be friends with everyone. I wanted to, like, make connections. And then on the other hand, I was just constantly getting like burned out and having more anxiety because I didn’t know I needed like this extra space for myself. Up until I was in a college psychology class and I took the Myers Briggs personality assessment and that was the first time I realized that I was actually an introvert. I was probably like 2021 at the time. and it was just such a, like, major for me because now because suddenly it was like This is why I get so tired and have so much anxiety when I’m like spending an entire weekend going to parties instead of taking some time for myself. I couldn’t understand why I was struggling so much with that kind of stuff when a lot of other people I was around just seemed to be thriving, you know, in the college experience of going out and partying and doing stuff all the time. and I thought there was something wrong with me that I was not able to do that without feeling so drained So realizing that I was an introvert was a really kind of relieving experience because then I realized oh, I’m I’m pushing myself so hard to try to be like other people, and I’m not setting any boundaries. You know, I’m not giving myself any alone time. It’s no wonder that I have anxiety and I feel so drained and burned out So that was kind of the beginning of this journey which has been, you know, it’s like a kind of a lifelong self awareness journey. That was really the the beginning of it. in my early twenties and since then it’s been a lot of continued growth and learning I think that thing I said about boundary setting has been a big lesson you know like learning how to step back and give myself the time that I need while still maintaining my relationships. And yeah, I guess it was probably a couple of years ago that I I was working in marketing and I had a job that was even though I was an introvert at the time and a job that didn’t really allow for a lot of kind of personal or alone time. I was in a lot of meetings. I had a lot of clients that I manage so a lot of meetings and calls every day and it was really starting to burn me out and giving me again a lot of that anxiety because I didn’t have a lot of balance and so it was like guess 2019 that I decided to quit my job cause I really just needed something that was more fulfilling for me and allowed me more freedom and flexibility, and so I quit my job, I ended up starting my own business and then eventually decided to go back to school and to get coaching certification and become a coach because I kind of had this realization that I do really enjoy working with people and especially working with people 1 on 1 and helping people I always loved anything that I could do in my job that was like training or like supporting people or mentoring. So I knew I really wanted focus on that but I also knew that it would give me more flexibility and wouldn’t be working for I was working for an ad agency at the time I wouldn’t be working for an agency or necessarily a corporation but I could kind of work for myself while also helping to support other people and so that’s kind of where I guess life has taken me up until this point and kind of how my introversion has played a role. It’s really been about developing or creating my lifestyle around my personality preferences and like making a lifestyle that’s the right fit for me versus trying to fit in and all these environments that just weren’t right for me.

David Hall [00:06:50]:

Okay. Yeah. We we’re gonna have a great conversation today because so Was it part of a college class, or was it just something you found online, the Myers Briggs?

Megan Malone [00:07:03]:

I actually studied psychology. in college. I studied communications and psychology. And so it was a psychology class in college was the first time that I took the test. Yeah. Okay.

David Hall [00:07:14]:

And then we’re definitely gonna get into this, and we’re gonna get into that you’re now a certified profiler for the Myers Briggs or Myers Briggs type indicator also called MBTI. We’re gonna get into all that. But what are the things as you’re talking, You know, there’s certain strengths that you have as a introvert. You know? That’s what this shows all about strengths, but there’s also needs and yours you were starting to talk about those. And then we’ll also talk about strategies for success. So what were some things that that maybe that first? And then, of course, you’ve done a lot of work, you know, self awareness work since then. What are some things that really stood out? Hey. You know what? I’m really good at this. What were some strengths that stood out as you were discovering that you were an introvert?

Megan Malone [00:07:58]:

Yeah, great question. One strength I think is listening. You know, being someone who’s an active listener and tries to really kind of focus on the person I’m talking with and also really paying attention to other people’s needs, you know? And I think that was one thing that attracted me kind of to more of a mentorship or coaching role even in past work. It’s really attuned to what you know other people’s challenges that they were having and how I could help support that and really listening to them and helping guide them based on what they needed was something that just came naturally to me. I think another strength would be kind of thoughtfulness just making sure I’m thinking thoroughly about something and really focusing on the depth over the breadth which is something that I I value in the work that I produce regardless of what it is is making sure that it’s quality, making sure that I’m really going into depth on a subject. You know, I also am a writer as well, and so that’s kind of something that I value in my writing. You know, I want it to be something that is high quality, I don’t wanna just produce a bunch of stuff just to be producing a bunch of stuff. So I would say that would be another Not that that’s only introverts can can be good at that, but I do think that’s kind of linked to this introverted tendency to really go inward and really kind of look at something very thoroughly.

David Hall [00:09:36]:

Yeah. Absolutely. And I think that inward part, that’s what’s common to all of us. that’s where we spend more of our time, you know, being introspective, being in our inner world of ideas. Right. And there’s some other things that may be more common to your personality type, and we’re gonna definitely gonna get into that because, you know, you and I both say, you know, yeah, we’re not all the same as introverts. There’s there’s definitely things that we all have in common, but then there’s different ways that, you know, we’re definitely different, and it’s good. We need everybody. Right?

Megan Malone [00:10:07]:

Yes. For sure.

David Hall [00:10:09]:

What did you discover? Like, you were talking about that you found out that, you know, you needed maybe some time to recharge. What were some needs that you figured out, you know, that you weren’t experiencing when you first started college that you you know what? I really gotta do this for myself.

Megan Malone [00:10:27]:

Gosh, I don’t know that I noticed the actual needs as much as I noticed my reaction to not paying attention to those needs. Yeah. So kind of falling into us, I don’t know that it was depression, but it was definitely anxiety and just not feeling like myself. You know, like feeling like something was off and not really being able to identify what it was. Feel like I wasn’t as in touch like with my emotions as I normally am, probably because I wasn’t having as much time to pay attention to them or pay attention to what, like, was going on, you know, within me. So I was really kind of just noticing some of the like the symptoms, you know, of not paying attention to my own needs happening first and being like, what is going on? What is wrong with me? And then when I I learned about introversion, it was like, oh, I think this has something to do with it. You know, this is why maybe this is causing some of these these issues that I’m having. and you know to that point when I started kind of slowly addressing them over time I started to realize that things were getting better so

David Hall [00:11:42]:

Yeah. Yeah. It is that we’re gonna talk about some this too, but we do need some time alone. Not Not all day. You know? I think that would drive most of us pretty crazy. You know? Yeah. But we need some time to think to feel that inner world, we need to spend some time there. And I think that’s what really causes problems is when we’re not spending enough time there that we need to, you know, to either recharge or just to think, you know, to dream to make some plans. We need to spend some time there. And and if you don’t understand that, all those things can happen. You know? And — Yeah. — if you’re not in alignment with who you are, then, you know, you can be depressed or have anxiety. And I’m not saying that know, introversion is the cause of those things, but if you’re not understanding yourself, that that could be a outcome of that. Yeah. I think it it’s anytime you’re in a situation

Megan Malone [00:12:38]:

which where you’re not really listening to your needs, whether it’s because you’re an introvert or maybe you’re in a rooted in a situation where you’re not able to read this new you know, you never really there’s a lot of different factors that could cause it, but I think it’s just not being aware not having that kind of sense of self awareness, and then or maybe having it self awareness but not doing anything about it, not doing anything to change the environment. to better support you if you can or as much as possible. And to your point earlier, you know, like you said nobody needs to be you know just totally alone. I think when I first learned I was introverted, I almost did, like, a complete 180 and was like, well, now I’m an introvert. I’m just gonna, like, not do anything because I need to be alone all the time, which was a mistake also. You know, like, I realized, wait. No. I need balance. You know, I just I need to kinda figure out how to balance that effectively.

David Hall [00:13:31]:

Yeah. I think that’s the key. It’s balance. You know, it’s it’s figuring out, you know, what kind of time do I need you know, what what you know, what’s important to me, what’s important to other people in my life, you know, and and have a have some kind of proper balance and know, I’ve probably said on a lot of these shows, I think the pandemic really pointed that out to a lot of people. It’s like, okay. Now I’m at home. I’m working at home, which I hadn’t done before. I’m with my wife that always has worked from home, so now I’m kinda and she’s a fellow introvert. I’m in her space now. We have 3 kids. 2 of them are in online school, and not very happy about it. And, you know, it it was it was a crazy time, and I had different different interruptions at home than I did at work, but, you know, still and there was times where I definitely felt isolated from the other people in my life, you know. And so definitely can be a myth. Or, you know, people would say, Oh, yeah. Introverts. They’re loving this, you know, being home all the time, and I definitely know some people that were were feeling very isolated. You know? Mhmm. They didn’t have the connection that they needed, and it it was rough. And so — Right. — it’s that that’s the thing. There’s not not one way, but what what work for you and what works for you and the other people in your life kinda thing. Yeah. Absolutely.

Megan Malone [00:14:52]:

And that’s sure I think the pandemic did kind of reveal a lot of a lot of things that people didn’t know about themselves and I think in some ways that’s generated more interest in kind of self awareness and growth and understanding psychology and personality which is a good thing you know and hopefully it’s giving more people access and information to tools and resources that they need.

David Hall [00:15:19]:

Yeah. Absolutely. And, like, I was telling you before the show, that’s kinda why I started a podcast because there was just so many misconceptions going around, especially during the pandemic. I’m like, yeah. We gotta talk about these things more. Yeah. For sure. What’s a couple miss you on a bus today about introversion? I think we already bused a couple, but

Megan Malone [00:15:38]:

Sure. I think one big myth. And I know I I mentioned earlier when I was a kid, I was I was fairly shy. One big myth though about introverts is that introversion is the same thing as shyness or all introverts are shy. That one I think is probably my biggest pet peeve because I hear it the most. And as someone who used to be very shy, I feel like I very easily can establish the difference between what is an introverted trait and what is like a trait of shyness. I would no longer identify as someone who is shy because I have done kind of a lot of work to deal with that. to be you know less fearful of social interactions and stuff and gain more confidence over time. So I think it’s important to know the difference between what it means to be an introvert and what it means to be shy or to have social anxiety. because they are different things and as we know extroverts can be shy or have social anxiety, it’s not something that’s just solely introverted. So

David Hall [00:16:46]:

I think there’s that one. I think — Let’s stop right there for just a second. Okay. Sure. So you used to be shy. Right? Yeah. I would describe myself the same way. Used to be shy, but we’re still introverts. Right? Yes. Exactly. And we always will be. Yeah. So what were some things that helped you overcome your shyness and social anxiety?

Megan Malone [00:17:10]:

For me, I I guess it’s twofold. I think one is just kind of learning more about my innate personality. I think part of it was feeling maybe like feeling different from other people maybe shy, like if I opened too much about who I was like people wouldn’t like me. So kind of learning to accept myself or who I was by understanding my personality was one thing that gave me more confidence and I think confidence is a big part of overcoming shyness. And then the second part is the action. You know, kind of challenging myself to do things that would be outside of my comfort zone. and challenging myself to put the situations that would be uncomfortable like leading a meeting or I would did this even as early as like high school and stuff like I was involved in theater and wasn’t necessarily super comfortable for me I enjoyed it. I have friends that were in it and stuff, and I it was a situation where I could kind of put the outside of my comfort zone in a way that was a little bit manageable. And then as I’ve gotten older just continuing to do that through work and just life events and stuff, you know, like it’s I never want to say no, I’m not gonna do something because I have a little bit of anxiety over it. You know? Like if it’s something that I feel like is good for me to do or the right thing for me to do or what I wanna do just because I feel a little bit scared or anxious like that’s not a reason not to do something as far as I’m concerned. So just continuing to just let myself be uncomfortable and you know over time you do develop that confidence in your you realize, oh, actually, I can do this. Like, I can, you know, make a video or be on a podcast or a lead a meeting or do these things that maybe sounded much scarier, 10 or 15 years ago.

David Hall [00:19:06]:

Yeah. Absolutely. And I think that was for me too. Is is the self awareness really helped me overcome my shyness? Because like, yeah. You know what? I think before I speak, not everybody does that, but it’s normal for me. It’s a it comes with strength for me. I I am gonna be quiet sometimes because I’m thinking it’s not because I’m shy, and I do need some time alone. And all these things really helped me realize, hey. You know what? You have some strengths, and I hope everybody out there is hearing. You you know, you have some strengths. It’s not it’s a good thing. And, you know, you don’t have to be shy. And as you’re saying, as you start to do things, it’s like you stop having to get out of your comfort zone because it’s now comfortable for you because you’re confident. You realize I have something to say. I should be on a podcast. You know, this shouldn’t make me nervous because Right. I I have some great things to say. I might need to prepare a little bit for it, but that’s fine. I’ve it’s one of my introverted gifts of per of preparation. So That’s that’s a big thing. You know? If if you are shy as introvert, you don’t have to, in my mind, becoming self aware, might be a lot of the cure for

Megan Malone [00:20:17]:

absolutely and I do think you know we can kind of feel sometimes that like the loudest person in the room or the most care as mad and confident person in the room as the person you should be in charge or the person we should listen to. But I think for introverts, you kind of start to realize over time, the more you just get comfortable doing things that like persistence pays off, you know, like people start recognizing. your strengths. Maybe they don’t recognize them right away because you’re not the loudest person and they’re paying attention to that person in the beginning. But eventually, you know, they start to realize it and that’s gonna pay off for you if you just continue to be yourself and to clean into your strengths.

David Hall [00:20:57]:

Yeah. Lean into your strengths, and they will get recognized. You know? Yeah. And sometimes, I think you always gotta work hard too. Work hard and lean into your strengths, and Your voice will be heard. That’s that’s part of it. It it might take some time, but it it will happen. Okay. So You are a certified Myers Briggs coach, our profiler, and Tell us you know, I’ve talked a little bit about on the show. Tell us a little bit more about what is the Myers Briggs?

Megan Malone [00:21:29]:

Sure. So the Myers Briggs is a 6 system of personality type. It’s got 16 different personality types. And it really breaks the personalities into 4 different categories. So we have introvert and extrovert being one category where you fall on that spectrum. and then we’ve got intuition and sensation where you kind of fall there which is intuition is kind of a focus on concept ideas what if possibilities and sensations more focused on the concrete, the details day to day, what’s happening at the immediate environment And then the next category is thinking and feeling, how you make decisions, thinking is very much logical, rational, objective focus on kind of the the details and and the facts basically and feeling it’s more emotional, so it’s gonna be more intuitive with your your feelings or other people’s feelings. And then the last category is judging versus perceiving, judging being more focused on kind of structure and order, and perceiving being a little bit more open and flexible. So depending on where you fall on I think of all the mass spectrums because you can be you know, slightly more extroverted or you can be very extroverted depending on you know where you’re at in life, your experiences, your innate personality, all these different things. So depending on where you fall, you will have a four letter type that will be like, for example, like INFJ or ESPP. And it will encompass all 4 of these categories. So within the Myers Briggs system, there’s 8 different types of introverts. and I think it’s a really helpful system as an introvert to kind of get to know yourself better because it does show that not all introverts are the same. It’s not like introvert, it’s just one personality category and all introverts have the same characteristics, it kind of shows how there’s these different flavors of introverted. So you might be like a feeling introvert like I am and that’s kind of explains why I did think of myself as a people person and I really liked making connections with people and spending time with people, but yet it was also an introvert. or you may be a thinking introvert. You know, he might be a intuitive introvert or a sensing introvert. There’s just all these different types that you can be. So it just kind of goes a step deeper than, like, just understanding, hey. I’m an introvert, but, like, what what does my flavor of introvert look like and It also looks at these other parts of your personality like how you make decisions, how you see the world that aren’t really covered within just the introvert umbrella.

David Hall [00:24:15]:

Yeah. Absolutely. And I love that because sometimes it’s just like, alright. Introverts. We’re all this way. And It’s not true. Especially if half of us are introverts and half are extroverts, you can’t stereotype half the population that we’re all one way. Right? and I think it really gets at some of the differences. I mean, I’ll say that, you know, we’re all nobody is exactly the same. We’re all different. We all have different nuances We’re we’re complicated people. Right? But I think it really helps show some differences between types and also some gifts and strengths. You know? Mhmm. And, you know, you can really come up with some strategies for yourself for success by understanding your type. Mhmm. How do you use it in the coaching work that you do?

Megan Malone [00:25:03]:

Well, I think that a tool like Myers Briggs is really useful in coaching just to kind of start at that level of self awareness, especially if someone has never done any kind of personality assessment or hasn’t really spent a lot of time, you know, they’re not gonna really understand kind of the root or the source of maybe a lot of the challenges they’re having. For example, like at work Maybe they’re having communication challenges with their boss or other employees and they’re not gonna, you know, understand kind of why that is. So using a tool like the Myers Briggs, for example, kind of help them be like, oh okay, maybe I’m having these challenges because like I’m a thinker and I just want to be straight to the point and my co worker is a feeler and they need more of that kind of connection and so they’re getting a, you know, frustrated with me because I’m not providing that and there’s just so much that you know, this kind of stuff can help with and the work place and relationships, all kinds of things. And so in coaching, I kind of like to use it upfront if that’s something people are interested in. Like, let’s start with this, so that both of us me as your coach and you as the individual have more awareness and insight into your personality And then when we’re talking about some of these issues you’re we’re having, you know, we can kind of see if there’s parts like maybe some of these like sources are actually rooted into the ways that are similar or different from other people or why you’re having certain struggles you know at work.

David Hall [00:26:29]:

Right. So I think you already said that you’re an INFJ. I know you’ve written a lot about that. You you’ve even wrote a book about that. I’m I’m similar. We have 3 of the same letters. I’m a INTJ. So, you know, definitely introverted, intuitive. That’s a really important part of my personality. Mhmm. Thinking versus feeling, and I definitely wanna talk about that. And then — Great. — I’m definitely more structured and planned, you know, and and I’ll talk about that too. But so what like, just say just say an inf Jay and I and TJ are working together. What would they what would be some good things to know about each other? you know, and things to watch out for so they’re maybe not conflict.

Megan Malone [00:27:17]:

Yeah. So like you said, INFJ and INTJ are gonna share many similarities because they are both introverts, they’re both intuitives. They both use the same type of intuition which I won’t get into that too much on there because that that goes very — Next show. Yeah. But they’re very similar except for that thinking and feeling lycotomy. Right? And so both of these types are going to be very future oriented and goal oriented. They’re gonna be planners. They’re gonna be, you know, need more alone time. They’re not gonna be wanting to just constantly collaborate with each other and bounce ideas each other 247. A little bit of that, they’re probably gonna enjoy conversations because they are similarly minded. but the thinking and feeling difference is probably where the challenges are gonna come in INTJ’s and Oftentimes sinkers in general can be very direct and to the point in communication and so that could be a challenge for the feeler who maybe is like, oh, are they mad at me? Like, why, you know, if they’re reading into it that way, they’re they’re kind of looking at it more from the emotional standpoint. They might not have as much like emotional and relational kind of language. And for the thinker they could maybe be frustrated that the feeler is thinking like, well we need to consider you know all these people that are potentially you know gonna be infected and the thinker might be like, well, you know, that’s enough that’s, like, a a hurdle that we don’t wanna, like, deal with right now. We don’t need to deal with it. That the peeler’s gonna be like, yes. We do need to deal with it. You know? So It’s really that kind of dynamic that I think might cause challenges. You know, I haven’t had a lot of bad experiences working with thinkers really I think most people try to be at least somewhat self aware and understanding of different you know, how people are different and especially in the workplace, but that does come up, you know, sometimes and with people that I coach too, it really comes up in communication struggles. between thinkers and feelers, just not kind of getting you know they’re just not intuitively gonna understand why there’s this clash because what seems so natural for them is just totally foreign to the other person. Yeah. And on both sides, it seems natural. Yes. Yeah. Exactly.

David Hall [00:29:48]:

So I definitely believe that we can, you know, work together well as we understand things, but also I think it’s important that I might acknowledge that you have some gifts that I don’t, or you acknowledge that I have some gifts that you don’t. And how can — Right. — how can you see that as a benefit? Like, maybe maybe there’s something I can partner with where you’re bringing some skills that I just don’t have and and vice versa.

Megan Malone [00:30:14]:

Yeah, definitely. You know, I mentioned balance earlier as something that’s so important for us as individuals, right? Like we don’t ever wanna be too extreme introvert or extreme extrovert because finding that balance even within ourselves is really gonna help us be more well rounded and developed and just kind of work better in in a world that we all live in, you know, different types of people. And I think balance and relationships is is important too kind of that give and take like realizing hey, you are different than me but you also have these strengths that I can learn from or that I can kind of maybe just, you know, accept and celebrate in you as being different from me. And and I think when we do that when you recognize that you know other people being different does not mean that that’s bad thing or recipe different is not a bad thing but we both have strengths and we both have our own challenges and if we just remain open to understanding other people and you know, not making assumptions is a big one, you know, like you don’t know what someone’s intent is or where someone’s coming from, you know, just being open to to who they are and accepting them for who they are. It sounds kind of cheesy, but like that’s really kind of helps to have that kind of balance in the relationships. And know that frustrations will come up with people who are different from you, that’s just normal, conflict and challenges will come up, but I think if you again, remain open and just willing to listen

David Hall [00:31:47]:

and understand where they’re coming from, then you can kind of get through those things. So Yeah. And I love you you you use the word celebrate in there, and I think that’s what this is all about. It’s celebrating our gifts and strengths. So my wife and I, it’s actually our anniversary. We’ve been married many years. She’s my best friend. We get along very well. Yeah. And Her letters are we’re also just one off, but ours are you know, she’s a INTP. Okay. And so, you know, as you described before, I’m probably more scheduled, and she’s probably more spontaneous. And I have to say nice things because she’s also my editor too, so I You know?

Megan Malone [00:32:26]:

She’s listening.

David Hall [00:32:27]:

Yeah. She’s she’s gonna listen. So, anyway, I mean, one thing that I really realized that we definitely as I started blogging, and we her and I started having more conversations. You know, she’s a fellow introvert, and it was crazy because we’d been married a long time, didn’t rapidly married. But as we started really talking about this, I I you know, we got to understand each other even that much better. You know? Like, Why is she staying up late? You know, I get up early. She stays up late because we need a little bit of quiet time, you know, or why when sitting really close to her, and I’m trying to talk to her. You know, she’s not responding. It’s because she’s in her zone. She’s thinking. You know? And and these aren’t these aren’t bad things. or why again, I’m I’m a little more scheduled and she’s a little more spontaneous. Mhmm. And if I if I wanted to change that, about her, or she wanted to change how I am, it wouldn’t work very well, and we wouldn’t be as happy. because there isn’t changing it. It’s it’s really, like you said, celebrating. And I think it’s I think it’s good because definitely, I probably worry more than she does, you know, and her her spontaneity and it it brings it brings some it relieves some anxiety for me for sure. Mhmm. You know? And so I think that we’re good for each other, but we definitely we have a lot of similarities there’s some differences that, you know, we need to celebrate.

Megan Malone [00:33:55]:

Yeah. For sure. I think, again, like, when it comes to our differences like the most the less that we understand another person, the more we’re going to you know, make assumptions about them and say, well she’s not wanting to spend time with me, does she not like me or like what is going on here? You know, like our brains can go to all kinds of places when we don’t really stand something. I think that’s important to remember at all times in all situations. But, you know, especially with other people, you know, if we don’t understand who they are and where they’re coming from we can make up all sorts of things and that can cause a lot of conflict, a lot of frustration and you know, personality type is such a helpful tool in relationships and marriages and stuff too in partnerships because of that same reason like all the stuff you’re talking about with your wife, you know, my husband’s an extrovert and so that we’ve had that kind of dynamic and we’ve had to learn a lot about each other. And so, yeah, it’s it’s just really helpful in in so many different ways for understanding. Does he understand when yeah. Does he understand when you need your alone time? oh, now he does for sure. We’ve been together for, like, 7, almost 8 years now. So now he does. But that was something you had to work through? Yes. Yeah. And I had to work through 2. I had to learn how to kind of ask for that alone time or show that I needed that alone time in because I would feel bad in the beginning. I’d be like, oh, like, I feel bad if I’m not spending time with him, and, you know, we just had to learn how to have, like, those very open conversations and talk about it and realize you know what we both needed and now he I mean he’ll mention it he’s like hook him in the room watching me, he’s are you having, like, me time, or do you wanna, like, watch movie together? And he’s totally open, whatever I say. You know? I’m like, okay. Let’s watch a movie. He’s like, okay. Great. Or I’m like, yeah. Actually, I wanna know, hang out for myself tonight. He’s become very, like, understanding and accepting of kind of my preferences because now he understands it so

David Hall [00:35:54]:

well. Yeah. And that that that is so wonderful. And it’s like, I love you, but I also need this. You know? And this will actually help me be a better person for you if I have this little bit of — Mhmm. — the time that you know? So that that’s wonderful. And that’s that’s what we need everybody to understand is what our needs are. You know? at work. You know? I might need a little space. You know? Mhmm. If I’m at work and I have a door, I actually, it’s funny. Here, I don’t have a door at work. I do. I can’t close my door at home where I’m situated, but, you know, work, maybe I’ll close my door for a bit. because I I just really need that time to concentrate, you know — Mhmm. — or or to recharge, you know, or if I’m if I need to take a quick walk outside, it’s just normal, you know, just to get some air and and recharge. And that’s what we need to kinda articulate to each other. Anything else you wanna say about the Myers Briggs?

Megan Malone [00:36:51]:

Oh my gosh. Well, I’m sure there’s a lot that I could continue saying and talking about. Again, I just think it’s it’s really useful. There’s a lot of great personality tools out there. but Myers Briggs to me just because it does have all these different types of categories it really allows for a little bit more deeper level of understanding So, yeah, I I would say check it out if you haven’t already and

David Hall [00:37:20]:

yeah. I think we gave some I think we gave some samples on 3 out of the 4. I don’t think we talked about intuitive versus sensing.

Megan Malone [00:37:29]:

Okay. Yeah.

David Hall [00:37:30]:

And I again, sometimes when you’re intuitive, you’re just able to put things together. And that can drive some people that are more sensing. That can drive them crazy. I I found it. Have you found that?

Megan Malone [00:37:45]:

Yes. I I think that it can depends on what we’re talking about, but when it comes to, like, patterns and ideas, yes. One thing that sensors will often do in like a workplace event, for example, we’re talking about like big picture is they’ll get very specific because they’ll they need to kind of talk through all of the details of this. And for intuitives, they’re like, this is a waste of time. Why am I sitting here? Like, I already know what you’re trying to explain. I know the overall concept. That’s all I need to know. The sensors will want to get into the details and I’ll want to kind of talk about the specifics and that is all very important to them into kind of creating this big picture situation. And so that can kind of be a cause of conflict I think both in working in relationships just one person getting more into the details and one person wanting to just kind of be like, I got, you know, I got the overall idea. We’re good. Like, I don’t wanna sit here and talk about all the specifics. and again I think it comes down to realizing you know there’s a lot of value in looking at the details, looking at the data and the information in front of us and going over that and taking these small steps to achieve goals and all that kind of thing and then there’s body and just kind of focusing on the goal and the big picture and the brainstorming ideation stages and stuff like that too, so again just like any other thing, it’s just understanding the value in both and kind of trying to find that balance.

David Hall [00:39:16]:

Yeah. Absolutely. And, you know, definitely with the big picture for me. The details, they just fall into place, but I have to remember You know? Yeah. Who who am I working with? And what do they need for me? Maybe I do need to lay out the details that are naturally falling into place for me. Mhmm. You know? And, also, the person that’s really detail oriented might really be, you know, catching some great things and thinking of some things that, you know, need to be considered. So Everything that we’re talking about, there’s great strengths, and and we just need to celebrate them together and also realize what we each need. What’s your recommendation for people taking the Myers Briggs?

Megan Malone [00:39:56]:

Yeah. So disclaimer. I I work recruities, psychometrics. So they have a a version of the 16% and they don’t call it the Myers Briggs because there’s just one Myers Briggs actual official online test, which you can take. Right. It could it costs, like, fifty bucks or something. Truety has a version called the type finder, which is really good. I like it because it goes really in-depth into each of the categories, so like if you score as an introvert, it actually will break down introversion into like 6 facets of introversion and show where you score. which makes actually different than any other kind of Myers Briggs tests that’s out there. So that’s a great place to start. There are some other free tests out there that you can take. I’ve done some training with personality hacker. I think they have a free test on their website. So there’s a lot of good places to start in terms of the tests But in terms of the pay test, I I would definitely recommend Charities. I think their pay report is great. And then if you wanna dive a little bit deeper, which a lot of will do when they first get their result. I mean there’s a lot of good information that you can find online, but also working with a certified profiler or a coach who has experience with personality type is another great way to dive even deeper into your type.

David Hall [00:41:18]:

Yes. And, I mean, I I I I agree. I, you know, I think the paid versions can definitely be better. I mean, there’s a lot of free versions out there you can take. And I also think it can be very helpful to work with someone who is expert that can help you understand so you don’t have any misunderstandings as you’re taking it on your own kinda thing. I’m also a big fan. I’ve I’ve I’ve, you know, I’ve I’ve done workshops. I’m also a big fan of that where people are able to talk to each other about their strength and needs, and and really sometimes see where you’re the same, but also just see, oh, yeah, they they are different. You know, I I don’t look at the world that way, and that that’s okay.

Megan Malone [00:41:58]:

Mhmm. Yeah. Workshops are great, especially for, like, teams. Like, work teams and stuff like that to kind of understand, oh, here’s why we have these communication struggles within our team, stuff like that you can really kind of understand. all of that a lot clear more clearly.

David Hall [00:42:16]:

Is there any other just general advice, you know, understanding the different types at work?

Megan Malone [00:42:31]:

I think it’s kind of an important thing just to remember what if you are having frustration with someone or your confusion with someone at work whether it’s a boss or someone who works under you or another peer, like maybe if explore that a little bit, the personality stuff and see if maybe that can answer some questions for you. I think again, especially with communication, but also working style and stuff. You know, it might say your your boss is like an ENTP or something and they always want you to come in and they want a happy 2 hour long brainstorming sessions with you and you’re like, I need to be, you know, focusing on my work and getting all this stuff checked off. And that’s, you know, wasting my time. Yeah, that pers that’s sort of a situation where personality can answer some questions for you, and then you have kind of this toolkit to be able to have a conversation with that other person and say, hey, you know, I realize you need to have these brainstorm sessions, what if we make them more structured so I can plan out, you know, each week an hour of time to do this, but then I can also make sure I have time to get everything else done on my checklist and it’s not stressing me out, you know. So you can kind of develop ways for everyone to kind of have a win win from the situation so that you’re not sacrificing your needs, but you’re also not just being like, well, I’m not gonna do what you want. You know? You’re minimizing the kind of conflict that you have in the workplace and just making it better for everybody.

David Hall [00:43:55]:

Yeah. And that’s a great example because I know for myself, you know, I do benefit from group work, group brainstorming, But, also, please just acknowledge that I come up with some great ideas on my own. You know? That’s really important to me. If you think that we can only come up with ideas in a group session, that I mean, that’s that’s part of my strength. I definitely I definitely thrive there. but I also thrive on my own and and, you know, just I need to be able to share that. Like, you know, if I I need to be able to have that space and also voice and and some of my own ideas as well as, you know, doing the group work. I think they’re both important, but we need to be able to, you know, have a language to to express you know, here’s where I work best, and here’s how we can work together best as you’re saying.

Megan Malone [00:44:42]:

Yeah. I’ve definitely gotten good at using the phrase, like, let me think on this and get back to you. Like, when I’m in a situation where it seems like people want an immediate idea or fine. So I’m always like, no. I’m gonna think about this and press this a little bit, and then I’ll get back to you. And people usually respond well to that.

David Hall [00:45:00]:

That is a saving phrase as a introvert. Let me think about that. You know, whether it be for a minute or an hour or the next day, that’s just that that saves us because we need to You know, and and as I’ve seen people grow in their in understanding their introversion, that’s something I’ve I’ve watched people as as they become more self aware, start say things like that because, you know, there’s so much pressure just to have this great idea on the spot, and sometimes we will. Sometimes we will have great ideas on the spot. And I always hate for people to think, oh, you always have to have to have to think about, like, well, sometimes.

Megan Malone [00:45:32]:

Yeah.

David Hall [00:45:33]:

Sometimes I need to think about it. Sometimes I’m gonna have a great idea on the spot. But you just to reserve that right and also express your need, I I I think that’s a great phrase.

Megan Malone [00:45:43]:

Yes. For sure.

David Hall [00:45:46]:

Okay. Oh, man. I could I could continue this conversation forever, Megan. This has been very weird. I know. Is there anything else about introversion and embracing your strengths and being confident as an introvert that we didn’t cover? You know, I think that

Megan Malone [00:46:03]:

there’s there’s just so much, you know, like I said, I I could keep talking about this this topic forever, but I really do think it kind of just comes down to like you just said, embracing yourself, embracing your strengths and also finding ways to kind of pave a path in life that’s gonna really support those strengths and those natural tendencies that you have and I think that’s something that is really possible for most people. You know there’s always gonna be external circumstances outside of our control, but maybe there’s small ways within your life that you can carb a little bit more time for yourself, you know, like or there’s certain maybe shifts you can make in your workplace so that your job is set up to be a little bit better fit for you than it is currently, you know, so just looking for those even small ways to just slightly kind of develop this life that’s more in line with who you are in your natural tendencies and I think you’ll notice kind of over time the more you do that, the more your life those kind of seem to like honor your natural preferences and strengths. You know I think some other people feel like well there’s there’s nothing I can do about the situation that I’m in, or I have to keep this big massive shift that’s gonna improve my life. Like, you don’t necessarily have to do that, that’s not always possible for everybody. So just looking even for the small ways and just continuing to be focused on on improving and growing into your strengths and accepting yourself and continuing to dive into personality and becoming more self aware, that’s always gonna pay off, I think, in the end.

David Hall [00:47:39]:

Yeah. Absolutely. And I love that you said, you know, sometimes it can be a very gradual process, but Right. Those little steps here and there, they add up. For sure. Yes. You can design the life and work that works for you, and it may take some time. Mhmm. And I also always say, you know, nobody ever does everything. There’s always things you’re not gonna wanna do. But if you can — Right. — sometimes gradually, however it works out, come up with, you know, most of the time you’re doing work that you’re working in your strengths. That’s that’s where we wanna be. You know? There’s always gonna be something that we don’t wanna do, but that’s that’s part of life.

Megan Malone [00:48:12]:

Right. Yep. Definitely.

David Hall [00:48:14]:

Alright. So, Megan, if people wanna find out more about the work you’re doing and the coaching, where can they get a hold of you?

Megan Malone [00:48:21]:

Yeah. So right now, you can find me on social media. I’ve got an Instagram for my coaching. It’s just coach with Megan. I’m also on Twitter. I’m even on TikTok now. So — Alright. — at Megan, m as in Michelle, That’s my middle name, Megan M Malone. That’s pretty much primarily where I’m at. I do a lot of writing. Like I said, I I work for trudities, so I do a lot of content in writing for them so you can definitely check them out. Yeah. I I I think those are kind of the main places where you can find me. Very good. And I do like you said earlier, I have a book for INFJs, which you can get on Amazon. called the complete guide to understanding the INFJ personality type if you wanna check that out. Okay. And I will put all of that in the show notes.

David Hall [00:49:11]:

So thanks again, Meg Megan. It’s been a pleasure to have you on the show today. Yeah. Thank you.

David Hall [00:49:17]:

Been great. Thank you so much for joining me today. I look forward to further connecting with you. Reach out at david@quietandstrong.com. Check out the website, quietandstrong.com. I’ll add social media channels for me and my guest to the show notes. Please comment on social media posts. Send me topics or guests you’d like to see on the show. There’s so many great things about being an introvert, and so we need those to be understood. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs and be strong.

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