The myth of work-life balance, especially for introverts.

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Do you struggle with finding balance between your work and personal life, particularly as an introvert?

In this episode, David dives into the common myth of achieving the perfect ‘work-life balance’, exploring why it’s not always possible and offering solutions to help manage the demands of both. Understand why it’s important to embrace your natural personality and tendencies, instead of trying to be something you’re not. 

Learn how to better prioritize your time, while also creating a fulfilling lifestyle that works best for you.  Don’t miss out – listen now!

Contact the host of the Quiet and Strong Podcast: 

David Hall

Author, Speaker, Educator, Podcaster

quietandstrong.com

Gobio.link/quietandstrong

david [at] quietandstrong.com

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Minding Your Time: Time Management, Productivity, and Success, Especially for Introverts

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Podcast Transcript

00;00;08;12 – 00;00;30;10
David Hall
Hello and welcome to Episode 102 of the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I’m your host, David Hall, and the creator of QuietandStrong.com. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally, we will air each episode on a Monday.

00;00;30;23 – 00;00;56;11
David Hall
Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform. Leave a review. That would mean a lot to me. Tell a friend about the podcast. Help get the word out there. So as the year was winding down, I was once again figuring out, okay, what do I have to do now and what can wait till next year? I enjoyed spending time with my family over the holidays and not giving work much thought.

00;00;57;14 – 00;01;21;28
David Hall
This time of year is often one of reflection. How am I doing and my success for where I am? What do I want to accomplish in the near future and the long term? Am I happy in my relationships? Am I happy with myself? This year was no different and my reflections have led me to the topic of work-life balance.

00;01;23;02 – 00;01;46;16
David Hall
I’ve often thought about what this means to me. Over the years, I’ve heard many people say that they’re seeking a work-life balance or they need a work-life balance. But what does this mean? What is balance and is it achievable? So over the last couple of years, my work and my home life have definitely blended more than ever before.

00;01;47;13 – 00;02;12;19
David Hall
I spent a year, a little bit more than a year solely working from home for the first time during the pandemic. During that time, I didn’t leave the house much except for an occasional trip to the grocery store. So my work and my home life were in the same place all of the time. Before the pandemic, my family used to ask what I did in my jobs.

00;02;12;24 – 00;02;39;08
David Hall
But they don’t ask anymore. They know when I’m working from home. They’re happy when I don’t have a meeting and they don’t need to hear me or worry if they’re walking by my camera. So more recently, I’ve moved it to a hybrid model of going into the office twice a week, which seems to be working out well. Although I am finding myself a little bit spoiled.

00;02;40;01 – 00;02;59;06
David Hall
So although it was normal to go into the office every day for so many years, I now find it annoying. I have to get ready, prepare food, pack up for the day, and then do the long drive. The days I work from home are filled with a bit more time without the commute or packing up for the day.

00;03;00;02 – 00;03;25;00
David Hall
Also at home I can switch rooms to work for a bit of a change of scenery from time to time. On the other hand, as I am back in the office, it’s good to see my work colleagues in person again. Having virtual meetings is very convenient and will always have a place now in our work environments, but they’re still not a complete substitute for in-person interactions.

00;03;26;14 – 00;03;50;01
David Hall
It has felt good to meet in-person again. So with virtual meetings, have you ever told a joke and everyone’s on mute? It’s just not the same. And then I was in an in-person meeting recently that was just all in-person and it was almost like people didn’t know how to act or react without being able to show their favorite emoji or virtually clap their hands.

00;03;50;02 – 00;04;20;15
David Hall
It was very interesting. And as an introvert. Working from home was not perfect for me, you know? Again, everybody’s different. When I was working solely from home, I did have a houseful. And even though I was home, it could be difficult to find the quiet that I often need as an introvert. And, you know, for example, I realized more than ever how much my drive to work was such an important time for me to reflect and recharge.

00;04;21;26 – 00;04;49;19
David Hall
It is great not to have that time driving, but it made me realize how important I needed a separate time for thinking and reflection also. For many of us, you know, working from home for the first time. Others were given a glimpse into what our homes, or at least our home office look like. You know, many a family member or a pet made a guest appearance in your meetings over, you know, in recent times.

00;04;50;26 – 00;05;18;14
David Hall
So for me, I’m enjoying this hybrid approach. I love to be able to enjoy a little more time and convenience and the comfort of home. At the same time, it’s valuable to make those in-person connections with those I work with. So with all of this, again, I learned a lot from the past couple of years, but there still remains that question How do I get everything done at work that I want to accomplish?

00;05;19;10 – 00;05;45;18
David Hall
How do I have the time I want with family and other relationships? How do I pursue other interests outside of work? How my true to my introverted nature and find the solitude and solace that I need on a regular basis. So did your life change for better or for the worse with the pandemic? Maybe you’ve already worked from home for many years, and maybe you are working for yourself.

00;05;46;13 – 00;06;20;24
David Hall
So what reflections do you have about your work in your home life? What is going well? What would you like to change as an introvert? Are your needs being met? So is work life balance achievable? I think the wording is wrong in the concept of separating the two is wrong. After all, you’re one person. You’re the same person with the same goals, same dream, same health, same mental health, same finances, same spirituality.

00;06;21;17 – 00;06;48;20
David Hall
You just have some different things that you want to accomplish in different areas in your life. So I look at it not as balance, but rather priorities. Purpose, significance, balance seems to say that all things will be equal, an equal distribution of time. I don’t think that’s possible, but I think you can live a life of purpose and significance.

00;06;48;20 – 00;07;25;05
David Hall
And of course, while embracing your introversion and as I don’t think a perfect balance is achievable. I like how Rory Vaden in Procrastinate on Purpose States Success in business, at home and in life doesn’t come from applying our resources proportionately throughout different areas. In fact, it’s just the opposite success usually is the result of focusing our talents money, time or energy in one priority direction for a shorter period of time to create a desired result which can take the stairs.

00;07;25;05 – 00;07;52;08
David Hall
Which is another book by Vaden I called A Season. In a word, a season is best described as imbalance, so there will be times when you have to put in extra time into your work. Maybe you’re launching a course, a book, a new business. Maybe you’re working on an important project or a new product, or managing a big event.

00;07;52;08 – 00;08;18;04
David Hall
Or maybe there are regular seasons of imbalance. If you’re an accountant, for example, in tax season, sometimes there will be times when you’re spending more time on your work. Or there may be times when you’re spending more time with family or friends or other things. You know, the time between Christmas and New Year’s this year where I was able to be with my family and very unplugged from my work.

00;08;18;12 – 00;08;45;22
David Hall
It was awesome. Unplugged is one of my favorite words now, especially as introverts, we need to unplug on a regular basis and I could unplug because I had done the other work I needed to before the holiday season, and I went into it without anything hanging over my head. There are so many choices in life, so many different things we could pursue.

00;08;46;24 – 00;09;10;03
David Hall
It is impossible to do everything. I know I’ve tried and you probably have to. We must make some choices of priorities. What are your priorities? Again, you are one person. You just may have some different things you want to accomplish, whether you are at home or at work. What are the areas in your life you need to consider?

00;09;10;03 – 00;09;47;14
David Hall
Back to Rory Vaden. He categorizes the various areas of life as faith, family, fitness, fun, faculty, which means work in this case and finances. Ask yourself, what are my most important priorities in each of these areas? What goals will I accomplish and what will I leave undone or leave to someone else to do? As an introvert, you have a gift of reflection, and you do need to regularly give yourself time to use that gift.

00;09;47;29 – 00;10;10;23
David Hall
I believe that you should have a daily and weekly process of reflection and considering your priorities and progress. But you also need some time on a regular basis to get unplugged and go deep with how you want to live your life with purpose and significance, doing work you’re passionate about. Have a talent for. And of course, you’re meeting your financial needs.

00;10;12;14 – 00;10;35;07
David Hall
Consider the relationships you have and the relationship you have with your introverted self. The end of the year is the traditional time for reflection, but I don’t think this is enough. Figure out when you can get a few hours alone and unplugged. Do some deep reflection. Maybe this is monthly or every couple of months or whatever works for you.

00;10;35;29 – 00;10;59;14
David Hall
You may go somewhere or just find a spot in the house where you can have some quiet. This may take some negotiating with others. I’m letting them know what you need. Many topics for introverts need to be approached with introverts, strengths and needs in mind. This is the case for this important topic of time management and productivity in accomplishing your goals.

00;11;00;02 – 00;11;23;25
David Hall
When you are considering your time management strategy, remember we do a lot of thinking as introverts and we do need some recharge time. We need time to prepare for meetings, presentations, conversations. So your strategy should include time to clear your mind, quiet time for certain tasks and projects, time to prepare, to plan, to reflect, to think, to dream.

00;11;24;16 – 00;11;51;19
David Hall
And of course, time to recharge every day and throughout the day in order to be effective. Of course, check out my book, Minding Your Time, Time Management, Productivity and success, especially for the introvert. Take time to recharge. Find that quiet. You need to be organized around your priorities. Remember the introvert, your approach to productivity and time management will be different from an extrovert as your strengths and needs are different.

00;11;52;26 – 00;12;15;10
David Hall
And being productive is not being busy, but doing the right things that are meaningful to you. And you need to be able to articulate to others around you what your needs are. As an introvert, sets them appropriate boundaries for me. The first 90 minutes of my day are blocked off for quiet time to plan, to reflect and to get some work done.

00;12;15;28 – 00;12;39;22
David Hall
This has worked wonders for me. Do you have something similar or can you work towards something similar? Can you explain to someone else how this quiet time helps you to be your best throughout the day? Do you have some recharge time built in? Are you able to let others know that you need a bit of time to yourself?

00;12;40;23 – 00;13;09;12
David Hall
It’s not personal. Let them know that we love our family and friends. We care about those we work with. But to be our best for them and for us, we need some time to be alone on a regular basis. Another important boundary is having some division between your different priorities. When do you stop work to spend time with family or yourself?

00;13;10;01 – 00;13;38;04
David Hall
If you work for yourself, this can be even more challenging. It’s an important boundary to set. Nonetheless, again, we may have seasons or putting in extra time on a project, but this can’t be the norm needed to decide what your priorities are and how you will navigate normally through seasons. And remember, you can’t be available to everyone at all times.

00;13;39;19 – 00;14;17;14
David Hall
Another area that’s very important to the topic of accomplishing your goals and having boundaries is mindfulness and being present. Have you ever been in the trap where you’re thinking about your family while you’re at work or thinking about work while you’re with your family? Being present with the person or task at hand makes all the difference. Being present is much more effective, but also sends the message to the person you are with that they matter to you that you see them.

00;14;17;14 – 00;14;56;28
David Hall
In Episode 82 of the Quiet and Strong Podcast. Dr. Mitch Ablett talked about being mindful and a concept called prizing. He made the distinction between praising someone and praising someone. Praising someone is when they do something. When they do that thing that you want them to do, or that thing that is expected of them prizing, on the other hand, is being present with someone paying attention to them, sending them the message, What matters to you matters to me.

00;14;58;11 – 00;15;28;22
David Hall
I see you. This has been powerful for me to attempt to praise others in my life. And this could be anyone in your life. It could be a child, spouse, a partner, coworker, or colleague. If you’re interested in working on mindfulness, I encourage you to go back and listen to episode 82 with Mitch Ablett. And part of being present is to limit distractions when you are with others.

00;15;29;04 – 00;16;03;11
David Hall
Put your phone down or turn away from your keyboard. Maybe depending on the situation, you don’t even have your phone with you. That can be a tough one. I know. And when you’re listening, listen to understand and not just respond and try not to interrupt. Another thing, this is difficult for me. Ask questions and clarify. And another part of being present with ourselves or others is being organized and having a plan for our priorities.

00;16;04;17 – 00;16;23;18
David Hall
If you know when you’re going to work on that important project next, you can relax when you’re talking to your friend. On the other hand, if you don’t have a plan, that project might haunt you while you’re trying to focus elsewhere and your mind might keep bugging you. Hey, you got this project coming up. What are you going to work on it.

00;16;24;22 – 00;16;55;20
David Hall
But if you know when you’re going to work on it and you have a plan, you can relax and be present with that friend. Another part of mindfulness and productivity is capturing those ideas when they come. So if I’m working on a project and an idea for a different project comes into my head. I’ve really learned to write it down so I can keep going with the current project and I can stay focused and stay in the present.

00;16;57;11 – 00;17;24;23
David Hall
If I don’t do this either, the new idea will keep distracting me, or I may ever forget this idea and it may be a really brilliant one. As you’re working through your most important priorities, be kind to yourself. You’re not perfect and nobody is. We are all continuously learning. As an introvert, I have many thoughts and it’s easy for them to go negative.

00;17;25;18 – 00;17;55;01
David Hall
You know, I’ve learned to challenge these thoughts that prevent me from doing something worthwhile or stop me from enjoying the experience. For Marcus Aurelius, I love this quote. The universe is change. Our life is what our thoughts make it. Our thoughts are so powerful, change them and reframe them often. And remember building time for reflection as you may need to adjust your priorities and pivot from time to time.

00;17;55;24 – 00;18;19;03
David Hall
So work life balance. I don’t think you’ll find a perfect balance between work and life, but you can live a life of purpose, significance and happiness. You are one person with many goals and dreams. You will have to choose things you pursue and things you will not as you do those things most important to you. So don’t try to be everything to everyone.

00;18;19;07 – 00;18;47;05
David Hall
Instead, focus on what matters most to you. What you’re passionate about. And then make it happen. I hope you have a wonderful year this year. Thank you so much for joining me. Hope you take the time to explore other episodes and learn from some amazing guests. Remember, if you’re interested in getting to know yourself better, there is now a free type finder personality assessment on the quiet and strong website.

00;18;47;22 – 00;19;11;24
David Hall
This free assessment will give you a brief report, including the four-letter Myers-Briggs code. I will add a link in the show notes and I’d love to connect with you. Reach out at David, at quiet and strong tor.com or check out the Quiet and Strong dot.com website. Send me topics or guests you’d like to see on the show. There’s so many great things about being an introvert, and we need those to be understood.

00;19;12;07 – 00;19;17;08
David Hall
Get to know your introverted strengths and needs and be strong.

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David Hall, M.Ed. is a speaker, author, and host of the Quiet and Strong Podcast, where he interviews thought leaders, creatives, and professionals who help introverts thrive. With over 25 years in higher education, David has led workshops, trainings, and presentations on productivity, personality, and introversion. His mission is to help introverts honor their needs, understand their strengths, and succeed on their own terms. He is the author of Minding Your Time: Time Management, Productivity, and Success, Especially for Introverts and a passionate advocate for creating work environments where introverts can do their best work.

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