Ep 138 - Articulating Your Needs As An Introvert on the quiet and strong podcast.

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Show Notes

Are you an introvert struggling to express your needs and preferences in a world that may not fully understand? 

Join us in Episode 138 of the Quiet and Strong podcast as host David Hall delves into the art of articulating your needs as an introvert. 

In this episode, you’ll learn strategies to effectively communicate your needs, cultivate self-awareness, and set appropriate boundaries. David shares valuable insights on the power of reflection, choosing the right moment to express your needs, and using “I statements” to convey your desires without blame or criticism. 

Whether you’re an introvert looking to enhance your communication skills or an extrovert wanting to understand and support the introverts in your life, this episode offers key takeaways that will help you thrive. 

Tune in to gain valuable insights and strengthen your ability to honor your introversion and communicate your needs effectively and be strong.

– – –

Contact the Host of the Quiet and Strong Podcast:

David Hall

Author, Speaker, Educator, Podcaster

quietandstrong.com
Gobio.link/quietandstrong
david [at] quietandstrong.com

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Time-Stamped Overview

[00:02:46] I prefer having questions or topics in advance for podcast appearances.

[00:05:05] Reserve quiet time in the morning, communicate introvert needs, be self-aware.

[00:08:33] Express needs with I statements, not blaming others. For example, prioritize alone time for recharging and concentration, as distractions can hinder productivity.

[00:11:11] Introversion does not mean disliking others. Growing awareness is encouraging. Embrace introversion’s strengths and needs.

[00:16:40] Evaluate, improve, ideal day, key conversations, strengths, needs, introverts, debunk myths, explore, learn, personality assessment, connect.

[00:17:39] Contact David at david@quietandstrong.com, visit Quietestrong.com for more info, contribute show ideas, embrace introversion for growth.


Key Takeaways

– Understanding and communicating our needs as introverts is crucial for our success and well-being.

– Recognize that introverts thrive with prior preparation, so having questions or topics in advance can help introverted guests perform at their best on podcasts or other public appearances.

– Self-awareness is key in understanding our needs and boundaries as introverts. Reflect on what makes you feel comfortable, energized, and fulfilled.

– Choose the right moment to express your needs. Find a quiet and comfortable environment where you can talk without interruptions.

– Clearly identify and articulate your needs using “I” statements to express your thoughts and feelings without blaming or accusing others.

– Be specific when communicating your needs. The more specific you are, the easier it is for others to understand and accommodate you.

– Sharing your introversion and what it means to you can help others better understand and support your needs.

– Embrace your introversion, honor your needs, and confidently express them to ensure your success and well-being as an introvert.


Podcast Transcript

David Hall [00:00:08]:

Hello, and welcome to Episode 138 of the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for Introverts. I’m your host, David Hall, and the creator of quietandstrong.com. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced normally. We’ll air each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform. Leave a review that would mean a lot to me. Tell a friend about the podcast.

David Hall [00:00:38]:

Help get the word out there that introversion is a beautiful thing. The Quiet and Strong Podcast is dedicated to exploring the strengths and needs of introverts, as well as offering strategies for success. We also take time to debunk some common myths surrounding introversion. Today we’re going to dive into specific needs of introverts and how to articulate these needs. Introverts are known for their deep thinking and preference for premeditated contemplation. This inclination is hardwired into our nature, so to excel in various situations, such as meetings, presentations, speeches, conversations, we thrive with some prior preparation. For example, for this podcast, I do invest some time in preparing for guests who appear on the show. This involves reading their books, exploring their social media profiles, viewing their websites, listening to other podcasts they may have been on.

David Hall [00:01:40]:

My goal is to truly understand them and bring out their strengths, experiences, needs, achievements, insights all while discussing strategies for success. So normally I send them questions in advance as a preliminary framework to guide our conversation. And the conversation is not scripted, and so we go where the conversation leads. But this preparation benefits both me and the guest to have some great conversation. Additionally, I also ask the guest to provide any questions or topics that they’d like to address. Most of my introverted guests appreciate having questions in advance, as it allows them to prepare thoroughly ahead of time. However, reactions vary, with some feeling they don’t need questions, while others insist on having them. In my experience as a guest on other podcasts, some hosts provide questions or topics beforehand, while others don’t.

David Hall [00:02:46]:

Personally, I do prefer having questions or at least topics in advance. Nevertheless, I can adapt when necessary, especially where the topic is familiar, like for me, introversion and extroversion and other personality factors and our strengths that come with personalities. I’m comfortable at talking about those things off the top of my head. You probably have some expertise that you can more easily speak about without preparation as well. But when specific questions are not provided by the host of the show, I do always request at least topics to ensure that I can adequately prepare. So imagine yourself as an introvert appearing on a podcast. Would you prefer having questions in advance or merely going with the flow? Everyone’s preferences and needs are going to differ, and the situation may influence those preferences too. For those that require questions or topics in advance, don’t hesitate to communicate your needs.

David Hall [00:03:55]:

Inform people about what helps you perform at your best. And also remember that extroverts feel comfortable speaking spontaneously, so their perspective on the necessity of questions may differ. In my experience with extroverted guests, they typically show less concern about having questions in advance. Of course, this principle extends beyond podcasting and could apply to other things like panel discussions, interviews or other scenarios. But always be clear about your needs, stating that you prefer some preparation to deliver your best performance. As introverts, we require time for thoughtful reflection, focused work, strategic planning and recovery after some types of social interactions. While our needs may differ from those of our extroverted counterparts, they are no less valid. How do you communicate your needs and preferences effectively? So first, recognize that your needs may not align with others, and that is perfectly fine.

David Hall [00:05:05]:

One beneficial practice I’ve adopted is reserving the first 90 minutes of my workday for quiet time, block that time off on my calendar. This provides a quiet time to start the day, countering the chaos that can arise from a day of many emails, calls, instant messages, meetings and office visits. Understanding and communicating our needs as introverts is crucial to thriving in various aspects of life. Whether it’s a podcast or other public appearance, or just our daily work routines, being clear about what helps us perform at our best is needed. Embrace your introversion, honor your needs, confidently express them to others to ensure that your success and your well being. So let’s discuss some strategies to articulate our needs and have them met so that we can be productive, have energy, peace and live the life that we want. So first, self awareness. Understand your needs and boundaries.

David Hall [00:06:10]:

Take some time to reflect on what makes you feel comfortable, energized and fulfilled as an introvert. This may include needing some time to recharge, avoiding some types of gatherings, having structured meaningful one on one conversations. Do you know what you need as an introvert? Listening to this podcast is a great place to be. We can learn from other introverts how they have learned to manage their needs and set appropriate boundaries. It’s a common topic on the show. Different instruments like the Myers Briggs Type Indicator or Clifton Strengths or the Disc and many others can help you get to know your strengths of introversion and other aspects of your personality. There is a typefinder personality assessment on the Quiet and Strong website. This is a free assessment.

David Hall [00:07:01]:

It’ll give you a brief report, including your four letter Myers Briggs code. This will detail your introversion and other aspects of your personality. And as always, I will add a link to the show notes. And don’t forget, we introverts share the gift of reflection. But to use this superpower of reflection, we need to spend some time in quiet to set aside some time to reflect. How are things going? What changes would you like to make? And use this reflection to make tweaks on how you spend your day and how you achieve success as an introvert. Using your strengths on a regular basis and honoring your needs and letting others know what you need. To let others know what you need choose the right Moment pick an appropriate time and place to express your needs.

David Hall [00:07:57]:

Avoid bringing up important topics when you or the other person is stressed, tired, or distracted. Find a quiet and comfortable environment where you can talk without interruptions. This will help ensure that your message is heard and understood. It’s important to create a calm and focused atmosphere for effective communication. Start by clearly identifying what you need. Before approaching someone, take time to clearly identify what you need. Be specific about what you require and why it’s important to you. This will help you articulate your thoughts effectively when expressing them.

David Hall [00:08:33]:

Remember, we don’t all need the same things, so when you’re doing this, use I statements. Frame your needs using I statements to express your feelings and thoughts without blaming or accusing others. For example, you might say, I need some time alone to recharge after this busy day instead of you always drag me to these social events. Or another example I need some quiet time to focus on this project to get it done and do my best thinking. I do my best with some quiet time for these types of projects. Just this week, I was working on a project that required intense concentration and my Instant Messenger was just going crazy. I had to decide, I’m going to have to ignore this or I’m never going to get this project done. So I switched the setting to Do Not Disturb and got a little peace for the moment.

David Hall [00:09:33]:

We have to find the right balance between the quiet time that we need and the time we need to collaborate with others. Use your I statements so that you can make it about what you need and not complaining or putting someone else at fault. Then be specific. Clearly articulate your needs and preferences. The more specific you are, the easier it is for others to understand and accommodate you. Instead of saying I need space from you, you could say, I’m going to take some time alone to unwind after this crazy day at work. This way, you communicate your need for space without blaming or criticizing the other person. It allows them to understand it’s not about them, but rather about your personal needs.

David Hall [00:10:20]:

Further, being specific helps others to better accommodate you. By clearly articulating what you need and prefer. They can make adjustments or provide support accordingly. Share your Introversion Share what it means to be an Introvert educate others on what it means to be an introvert. Explain that introverts often need quiet and solitude to recharge and that it’s not a personal rejection of others. This can help people better understand your needs. When sharing your introversion, it can be helpful to provide examples to illustrate how you recharge and what activities bring you the most peace and energy. For instance, you could explain that spending time alone with a book or engaging in a solitary hobby like painting or writing helps you rejuvenate.

David Hall [00:11:11]:

It’s also important to emphasize that being an introvert does not mean being antisocial or disliking others. Instead, let others know that while social interactions are enjoyable, they can be draining for introverts. I am encouraged by the growing awareness around introversion and extroversion in our different personality types. I know when I was a kid there was no talk of introversion or extroversion, and I definitely could have used some understanding. There’s a lot of great people spreading awareness, and I’ll continue to have great guests on my show that have really learned to embrace their introversion and have learned to use their strengths, articulate their needs, and really have some great success strategies. Share this Podcast look for ways to have conversations and workshops. And remember, introversion and extroversion are not good or bad, just different. We need everybody, but we need understanding of our unique strengths and needs.

David Hall [00:12:22]:

Offer alternatives. When discussing your needs, be open and compromise and offer alternative solutions. For example, if you need to recharge but don’t want to completely isolate yourself from your significant other, suggest spending time together in a quieter setting or engaging in a low energy activity. Or if you really need time alone, say so, but make plans for later. This way, you can take care of your own needs while still maintaining a connection with your loved ones. It’s important to remember that introverts often recharge by spending time alone, and this doesn’t mean that we don’t value our relationships. Practice active listening. Encourage open communication by actively listening to other people’s points of view and perspective and concerns.

David Hall [00:13:15]:

This shows that you value their feelings and are willing to work together to find a balance. As you are seeking to have your needs met, work hard to help the others in your life at home and at work to have their needs met too. This reciprocity is a key in maintaining healthy relationships. It’s important to create an environment where everyone’s needs are acknowledged and addressed at home. Take the time to understand what your loved ones require from you emotionally and physically. This could involve having open conversations about a person’s preferences when it comes to socializing or alone time. By actively listening and considering their perspectives, you can find ways to meet both your own needs and theirs. In the workplace, strive for a similar balance.

David Hall [00:14:06]:

When is it time to focus or recharge? Or when is it time to collaborate? Be patient and assertive. It may take time for others to adjust to your needs, especially if they’re unfamiliar with introversion. Be patient and assertive in advocating for what you require to maintain your well being. Additionally, it’s important to set boundaries and communicate them effectively. Let your friends, family and coworkers know when you need some downtime when you prefer not to engage in certain activities that drain your energy. By doing so, you can prevent feelings of overwhelm and ensure that your needs are respected. Remember to prioritize. Take care of yourself as well as an introvert.

David Hall [00:14:58]:

Taking time for yourself is crucial for recharging and replenishing your energy levels. Find activities that make you happy and help you relax. I have learned that some solitude for me, it’s not a luxury, but a necessity. As an introvert, you’re not being selfish when you need some time alone, but rather you’re taking care of yourself. It’s an act of self compassion, self preservation. It allows you to show up fully with your interactions with others as well in your own life. Some people may not understand or appreciate your need for solitude, but that should not discourage you from prioritizing it. For me, finding activities that bring happiness and help me unwind is essential.

David Hall [00:15:47]:

Whether it’s reading a good book, going for a long walk, or maybe taking a drive with some great music and seek support. Talk to your close friends, family members and partners about introversion. Ask for their support in accommodating your needs. Sharing your feelings and concerns with the trusted circle with your trusted circle can strengthen your relationships. Remember that effective communication is a skill that can be developed over time. By openly expressing your needs and engaging in healthy conversation with others, you can foster understanding and create more fulfilling relationships as an introvert. So back to your superpowers of reflection. Find a quiet time for serious reflection on what you need to be your best as an introvert.

David Hall [00:16:40]:

Write them down. Evaluate how you’re doing, what is going well? What can be improved? Do you know what your ideal day looks like, using your strengths and taking care of yourself? Have those key conversations, but remember to express why you need what you need and how it will help you to be your best for yourself and for others at home and at work. Help keep the conversation going about the strengths and needs of introverts and let’s continue to debunk some myths. Thank you so much for joining me. I hope you take the time to explore other episodes and learn from our amazing guests. Remember, if you’re interested in getting to know yourself better, there is a free typefinder personality assessment on the Quiet and Strong website. This free assessment will give you a brief report, including the four letter Myers Briggs code. I will add a link to the show notes and I’d love to connect with you.

David Hall [00:17:39]:

Reach out at david@quietandstrong.com or check out the Quietandstrong.com website which includes blog posts, links to social media and much more. Send me topics or guests you would like to see on the show. There’s so many great things about being an introvert and we need those to be understood. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs and be strong.

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