Are you tired of feeling like being quiet is a negative trait? In this episode, David dives into the strengths of introversion and how to embrace your quiet nature.
We’ll explore the concept of being quiet as an introvert and why “quiet” is so important for us. Introversion is often misunderstood and mistakenly associated with shyness, but it’s time to set the record straight. Being quiet doesn’t mean we lack confidence or have nothing to say. It’s about embracing our deep thinking, analytical abilities, capacity for empathy, and our unique perspective on the world.
We’ll also discuss why introverts need and enjoy moments of quiet. In a world that can’t stop talking, introverts thrive in environments that allow them to reflect, ponder ideas, and connect the dots. Our inner world is rich with thoughts and ideas constantly evolving, and while we may not always dominate a conversation, given the right setting and preparation, we can share insights and great ideas that come from our depth of knowledge and insight.
So join David today as we dive into the world of introversion, debunking myths, celebrating strengths, and embracing the power of being quiet and strong.
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Books mentioned in this episode:
Quiet – Susan Cain
Introvert Power – Laurie Helgoe
Also listen to David’s Interview with Laurie Helgoe and her husband, Barron
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Quiet & Strong Merchandise
[00:02:27] Susan Cain’s book Quiet brings awareness and understanding to introverts, helping them embrace their identity as a gift. Highly recommended.
[00:03:19] Introverts are deep thinkers with strengths in empathy, analysis, and creativity, which should be embraced and celebrated.
[00:08:38] Introverts prefer deep conversations over small talk, enjoying discussions about the mysteries of the universe. They crave meaningful discussions and quiet moments to process thoughts. Engaging introverts in thought-provoking conversations inspires growth and passion.
[00:11:08] Embrace being quiet, respond with humor or explanation.
[00:14:37] Introverts need quiet time to recharge, think, plan, focus, and accomplish goals. It’s important to honor their needs and use their thinking abilities. Unplugging and enjoying quiet can be amazing. Beach stay on the boardwalk recommended.
[00:17:14] Being true to oneself brings happiness and success. Don’t compare to others. Embrace being a thinker. Find yourself with free personality assessment.
– Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced.
– Introversion does not equal shyness or lack of confidence.
– Susan Cain’s book “Quiet” has helped many introverts understand and embrace their introversion.
– Introverts have qualities and achievements to be proud of, including deep thinking, empathy, focus, and creativity.
– Introverts have a rich inner world and think before speaking, leading to well-thought-out opinions and ideas.
– Introverts are great listeners and prefer deep conversations over small talk.
– Embracing introversion does not make one become an extrovert, but allows them to utilize their introverted strengths.
– Introverts value their gifts and strengths, and speak when they want to and need to.
David Hall [00:00:08]:
Be strong. Hello, and welcome to episode 145 of the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I’m your host, David Hall, and the creator of quiet and strong.com. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally, we’ll our each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform. Leave a review.
David Hall [00:00:34]:
That would mean a lot to me. Tell a friend about the podcast. Help get the word out there that introversion is a beautiful thing. So what does the word quiet mean to you in reference to being an introvert. Do you like being referred to as quiet? I often don’t. I don’t like it when someone calls me quiet. It almost seems like an insult or offensive. After all, I am a strong and confident introvert.
David Hall [00:01:05]:
I’ve overcome my shyness, my social anxiety, awkwardness. Introversion doesn’t equal shyness. Shyness is a lack of confidence. I’ve gained confidence. I speak up, and sometimes I’m outspoken. I’m not shy. But why do I not like being called quiet? I’m quiet and strong. Right? I don’t like it when people confuse introversion and shyness, And I’ve been fighting very hard to bust that myth.
David Hall [00:01:37]:
Maybe when someone calls me quiet, I think I’m Taking it as being shy or they mean I’m shy. But, again, I’m not. So maybe it’s time to declare What quiet means for an introvert who is very confident, strong, and proud. So let’s talk about a couple things today. 1st, being quiet or being perceived as quiet as an introvert, and then why we introverts need quiet and often enjoy some quiet. So Susan Cain wrote the book on quiet literally. She gave her famous TED Talk in 2012 called the power of introverts. In 2013, she released her book, Quiet, The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking.
David Hall [00:02:27]:
Susan Cain brought so much awareness and understanding to the strengths of introverts. Most of my guests have been introverts. And a common question I ask is, how did you learn that you’re an introvert and how did you embrace it? I get many different responses to this question, but by far, the most common response is Susan Cain’s quiet. People express that they once thought something was wrong with them, but the book Quiet helped them understand they weren’t alone and that introversion is a gift or a power. I highly recommend this book by Susan Cain. So here’s a quote from Susan Cain’s Quiet manifesto. There’s a word for people who are in their heads too much, thinkers. I love this quote.
David Hall [00:03:19]:
I might even add, at least for myself, deep thinkers or deep thinker. Introverts have many qualities and achievements to be proud of just like everybody else. Some of these might include Their deep thinking and analytical abilities, their capacity for empathy and active listening, their ability to focus and work independently, In their talents and creativity or intellectual pursuits, introverts often excel in areas that require solitude reflection, and their unique perspectives can be valuable in various aspects of life. Pride can come from recognizing and embracing these qualities and understanding that being Introverted is not a weakness or something to be ashamed of. It’s about celebrating the strengths and contributions that introverts bring to the table. Introverts possess an innate curiosity and have a natural inclination towards introspection. This allows them to dive into complex problems with a level of depth that others may overlook, introvert, thrive in environments where they can ponder ideas, connect dots, and celebrate these strengths and accomplishments. So if you perceive me as quiet, I promise it’s not quiet in my head.
David Hall [00:04:40]:
My mind is a whirlwind of constant thoughts and ideas, analyzing and processing information. While some may mistake my silence for disinterest or a lack of engagement, It couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, when given the chance to express myself in an appropriate setting with the right preparation, I can share great ideas coming from my depth of knowledge and insight. You know, in social situations, I may not be the one to dominate the conversation, although sometimes that’s the case, but that doesn’t mean I have nothing to say or contribute. Give me time to collect my thoughts and choose my words carefully, and you’ll find that what I have to offer is worth listening to. I’ll speak up without hesitation. This is a myth I often bust that introverts don’t have much to say. We actually Have a lot to say because we’re always thinking.
David Hall [00:05:41]:
And so one of the big differences between introverts and extroverts is that introverts think and then speak. Well, extroverts generally speak in order to think. So as introverts, we have a rich inner world where our thoughts and ideas are constantly evolving. This internal processing allows us to thoroughly analyze situations and gather insights before expressing them verbally. And it may take some time for our thoughts to fully form into coherent sentences, But this doesn’t mean we lack valuable contributions. In fact, introvert’s tendency to think before speaking often leads to well thought out opinions and ideas. We carefully choose our words, considering the impact they might have on others or the conversation as a whole. This thoughtful approach to communication can result in more meaningful and impactful conversations.
David Hall [00:06:41]:
It’s a very natural way of being, and we couldn’t change it if we wanted to. It’s also a reason that we’re quieter than extroverts. If we’re gonna think before speaking and only share what we think is most important, We aren’t gonna express as many words as the extrovert, the extrovert that is verbalizing all of their thoughts. And I always say too, it’s becoming confident in your introversion isn’t gonna turn you into an extrovert. You’re still It’s a gift to think before you speak and process your thoughts and share what’s most valuable. It is important to note that the quieter nature of introverts does not mean that our thoughts and ideas are any less valuable or significant. In fact, our well considered opinions often carry more weight due to the careful analysis that we put into them. Introverts can be great listeners.
David Hall [00:07:44]:
Our preference for observing and absorbing information allows us to truly understand what others are saying before formulating a response. While extroverts may be quick to respond or interject, we prefer to take time to fully and be strong. Understand what others are saying before formulating a response. This act of listening enables us to continue thoughtful insights and ask meaningful questions in conversations. The key is, though, for me, it needs to be a conversation. I could be a good listener, But I wanna have a good conversation and not just be perceived as a good listener because the other person is talking nonstop. So let’s have a be a conversation. Active listening not only demonstrates our respect for others’ perspectives, but also enables us to provide considered and valuable in input.
David Hall [00:08:38]:
Also, as introverts, we enjoy deep conversations over small talk. We would rather talk about the mysteries of the universe instead of the weather or the price of gas. We’re not often gonna talk just for the sake of talking, so, again, we may be seen as quiet. We crave meaningful discussions that explore ideas, challenge assumptions, and delve into the depths of our thoughts. While small talk may serve its purpose in certain situations, it’s during these deep conversations where our true selves shine through. As an introvert, I find solace in the quiet moments between words allowing me to carefully process my thoughts before sharing them. This introspective nature lends itself well to engage in thought provoking conversations that push boundaries and inspire growth. Those are the kind of conversations we wanna have and you get us introverts engaged in a meaningful discussion that we are passionate about And you will find it hard for us to stop and you will not find us quiet at all.
David Hall [00:09:49]:
I’ve come a long way in my journey to understand and embrace my introversion. I’m confident in who I am. I value my gifts and strengths. I speak when I want to and when I need to. I’m not shy, and I’m not as quiet as I used to be. I’m gonna share a quote I love from Dr. Laurie Helgoe, author of introvert power. Here’s another book I highly recommend. This book was instrumental in my journey.
David Hall [00:10:17]:
Just as the title suggests, there is a great power in introversion. Lori also turned me on to the concept of 50% or so of the population are introverts, a fact that’s not well understood. Check out the Quiet and Strong podcast episode 122 with Laurie, an introverted psychologist, and her husband, Barron, an extroverted lawyer. They have a great back and forth on how they’ve learned to understand their differences after 40 years of marriage. They also have a great podcast called The Incompatibles. Check that out for more of their great back and forth. So here’s a quote from Lori Helgo that I really love. Whatever kind of introvert you are, some people will find you too much in some ways and not enough in others.
David Hall [00:11:08]:
So although I’ve embraced who I am, some may still think I’m too quiet. I just need to let this roll off of me and not be bothered when someone says that. You can, however, continue to educate people on what it means to be an introvert. When someone asks you why you’re so quiet, You can respond in a few different ways depending on the situation, of course. You can try to be funny and say, why are you so loud? Or you could say, you should try it sometime. Or don’t you know, you gotta be aware of the quiet ones. Or you can really embrace your introversion and share, you know, I’m naturally more of a deep thinker, so I tend to listen and think before I speak. I may need time to process my thoughts, or I find peace in quiet moments, or I value hearing what others have to say and learning from their perspectives, or you could share, I believe that everyone has their unique qualities, and being quiet is just one aspect of who I am.
David Hall [00:12:17]:
It allows me to be a deep thinker, Carefully consider my words before speaking. Or in those moments of silence, I find solace and clarity. It’s during these quiet moments I can carefully reflect on the world around me and gain a deeper understanding of myself and others. And, again, I’m proud to be an introvert, but in those descriptions, I didn’t use the word introvert. Instead, I described it more deeply What’s actually going on? You know? And you can do the same with quiet. And remember, you don’t have to explain yourself. It will depend on the situation and who you’re speaking with as far as what you share with them. Do you have a way of explaining your quiet nature and strengths when you feel like you need to? And we need to keep this conversation going.
David Hall [00:13:08]:
Recommend this podcast to others. Help spread the word. Maybe sponsor brown bags or workshops at work about gifts and strengths of introversion, extroversion, other factors of our personality. Right? Or share others’ posts on social media. You know, you could check out my LinkedIn, Instagram, Twitter, And then like, share, or comment on something. Do that this week. And wouldn’t it be better than someone just saying, oh, you’re an introvert or quiet To be more specific and even compliment someone on their strengths. For example, you could say, I admire your ability to think deeply and come up with innovative ideas.
David Hall [00:13:51]:
You’re able to observe and analyze situations, which often leads to valuable insights. Or I appreciate the unique perspectives you bring to the table. I had 1 guest on, And she said that often toward the end of the meeting, the CEO would turn to her and say, okay. Now we need to hear what you have to say. Because he knew That she was a deep thinker, and she had valuable contributions to make. So we’ve been talking about the reason why We are quiet or perceived as quiet in our communication, but also keep in mind that we need quiet time. We need more quiet time than extroverts. It’s a need and we also enjoy it.
David Hall [00:14:37]:
So As introverts, we need some quiet, some solitude, you know, in order to recharge. We need time to think, Time to plan, time to focus, time to prepare, time for recreation, time to dream. We need to recharge and manage our energy, but we also need to allow us time and space to use our great thinking abilities and so that we can accomplish our goals. So definitely check out other episodes For more on these topics of getting our time and space and quiet To use our strengths and honor our needs. And sometimes it’s amazing just to get unplugged and enjoy the quiet. I stayed on the beach recently right on the boardwalk. I highly recommend this. It was awesome.
David Hall [00:15:36]:
It was amazing just to Sit on the beach at sunset with my family, watch the sun go down. And then 1 morning, I got up before sunrise and watch the sun slowly come up and listened as the waves crashed on the shore. And I just sat and wonder thinking about life and taking in the peace and solitude. So quiet holds strength. I’ve come to appreciate the new qualities of being an introvert. The words quiet and strong are not opposites. I hold this belief now, although it wasn’t always the case. For many years, I attempted to emulate extroverted traits, striving to be less quiet.
David Hall [00:16:21]:
Ironically, I discovered that my inner quiet is the source of my strength. Similarly, understanding oneself is empowering. I possess a strong analytical disposition, Delving deep into matters and often perceiving from a distinct angle, this attribute is a valuable asset. I challenge conventional thinking and advocate for a brighter future. Realizing this, I may not be reserved as I once was, but I still prefer to contemplate before speaking. I’ve learned that I require solitude regularly to contemplate and organize my thoughts. What empowers you with strength? Hopefully, you’ve always recognized your exceptional qualities. As an introvert, you have distinct talents and specific needs.
David Hall [00:17:14]:
I’ve discovered that by staying true to my genuine self, Acknowledging my strengths and honoring my needs, I’ve obtained greater happiness and success than ever before. I’ve learned to be the best version of myself without comparing myself to others and their talents. I understand that what works for me And what brings me fulfillment? As Susan Cain said, there’s a word for people who are in their heads too much, thinkers. Be proud to be a thinker. Thank you so much for joining me. I appreciate you. I hope you take the time to explore other episodes and learn from other amazing guests. Remember, if you’re interested in getting to know yourself better, there’s now a free type finder personality assessment on the Quiet and Strong website.
David Hall [00:18:00]:
This free assessment will give you a brief report, including the 4 letter Myers Briggs code. I will add a link in the show notes, and I’d love to connect with you. Reach out at email@example.com or check out the quiet and strong.com website, which includes blog posts And links to social media are quiet and strong. Send me topics or guests you’d like to see on the show. There’s so many great things about being an introvert, and so we need those to be understood. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs, and be strong.