Introverts think, and then speak.
Extroverts speak, to think.
Introverts process information internally, then they can express it outwardly. Extroverts process information outwardly, as they speak {think} out loud.
One of the biggest causes of frustration between introverts and extroverts is this difference in thought processing. During a conversation, when an extrovert is continuously thinking out loud, the introvert may not be able to get any words into the conversation. Alternatively, an extrovert may get impatient waiting for answers as the introvert is thinking before speaking.
One solution I’ve found is to be a great listener and let the extrovert talk it out to himself. You can still be engaged in this sometimes seemingly one-sided conversation, and allow the person to work through their external thought process. If you’re not ready at the time you need to add input to the discussion, you can always say, “Let me give that some thought.”
For extroverts, remember that the introvert needs time to process – quietly – so give them the information, and they will give it their consideration and often come up with some great insight if you allow them the time to do so. Pause every so often to give the introvert time to respond.
See? We can all get along!
David Hall, M.Ed. is a speaker, author, and host of the Quiet and Strong Podcast, where he interviews thought leaders, creatives, and professionals who help introverts thrive. With over 25 years in higher education, David has led workshops, trainings, and presentations on productivity, personality, and introversion. His mission is to help introverts honor their needs, understand their strengths, and succeed on their own terms. He is the author of Minding Your Time: Time Management, Productivity, and Success, Especially for Introverts and a passionate advocate for creating work environments where introverts can do their best work.
