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Are you feeling stuck in your career? Not sure what the next step is? 

Join David and his guest Becca Ribbing, as we discuss how to create clarity and get unstuck. We’ll cover how to assess your values and interests, identify your skills and strengths, and set goals for your future. These simple steps will help you move forward in your career with confidence. So listen now and get started on creating the career you really want!

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Becca Ribbing is the author of The Clarity Journal and has been a coach for over a decade. She’s on a mission to help people break out of the cycles of uncertainty and struggle that hold them back. She helps women going back and forth with the big, seemingly endless question of what to do next—so they can stop going around in circles and finally figure out what they truly want and create the clarity and momentum they crave. So many people find themselves stuck and unsure of their direction. Using journaling prompts and helping people become more honest with themselves, she moves her readers forward gently and empowers them to embrace their strengths while letting go of any negative self-talk that has held them back in the past.

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Get Becca’s book: The Clarity Journal

Becca’s Website: beccaribbing.com 

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Contact the host of the Quiet and Strong Podcast: 

David Hall

Author, Speaker, Educator, Podcaster

quietandstrong.com

Gobio.link/quietandstrong

david@quietandstrong.com

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Podcast Transcript

00;00;00;02 – 00;00;21;11
Becca Ribbing
I think sometimes we struggle because if it feels like we should have clarity and that clarity should be with us for 50 years, 40 years, 30 years. That’s a big commitment. You know, and it it makes you freeze up, like, is this the right thing? Well, I think in a lot of ways, clarity is really what are you going to do for the next couple of years?

00;00;21;23 – 00;00;49;00
Becca Ribbing
And if you’re really grounded in making sure that you’re making the right decision for you right now, that will unfold in very interesting ways. But you need to allow that you’re a growing, engaged human being that is going to be a different person in five years.

00;00;51;03 – 00;01;13;25
David Hall
Hello and welcome to episode 90 of the Quiet and Strong Podcast, especially for introverts. I’m your host, David Hall, and the creator of QuietandStrong.Com. It’s a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally we will air each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform.

00;01;14;04 – 00;01;41;02
David Hall
Leave a review. Tell a friend. Help get the word out there. Becca Ribbing is the author of the Clarity Journal and has been a coach for over a decade. She’s on a mission to help people break out of the cycles of uncertainty and struggle that hold them back. She helps women going back and forth with a big, seemingly endless question of what to do next so they can stop going around in circles and finally figure out what they truly want and create the clarity and momentum they crave.

00;01;42;00 – 00;02;03;21
David Hall
So many people find themselves stuck and ensure their direction using journaling prompts and helping people become more honest with themselves. She moves her readers forward gently and empowers them to embrace their strengths while letting go of any negative self-talk that has held them back in the past. All right. Well, I’m excited for my guest today. Becca. Becca, welcome to the Quiet and Strong podcast.

00;02;04;08 – 00;02;05;15
Becca Ribbing
Hi. Thanks for having me.

00;02;06;01 – 00;02;15;11
David Hall
Yeah, definitely excited to get into your Clarity journal. But before we do that, let’s hear how you became a coach yourself. Tell us your story.

00;02;16;05 – 00;02;48;29
Becca Ribbing
So I was in that place that everyone tends to be in their mid-twenties. I got through schooling. I got a job. I actually thought I was going to love my job and there is just something missing. And so as I was doing my own journey of self-discovery, figuring out my Myers-Briggs type, reading all of the like career self-help books of the day, I really discovered that I wasn’t sure still what I wanted to do.

00;02;49;11 – 00;03;01;27
Becca Ribbing
But as my friends were at the same point in their journey, I started helping them get more and more clarity about what they wanted. And as I did that, I gained clarity that this is what I wanted to do.

00;03;03;01 – 00;03;07;08
David Hall
That’s very cool. And so what kind of coaching work do you do?

00;03;08;15 – 00;03;33;28
Becca Ribbing
I mainly work with people who are trying to figure out what they want to do next or really wanting to make sure that what they’re leaning towards is the right path for them. I spend a lot of time helping people make kind of more difficult, more creative job changes. So helping people move from one industry to another, get into management, get out of management.

00;03;33;29 – 00;03;41;14
Becca Ribbing
I’ve actually helped a bunch of people get out of management. Okay. You know, just making sure that what you’re doing is the right fit for you.

00;03;42;06 – 00;03;44;22
David Hall
The management, was it the right path for them?

00;03;45;10 – 00;04;25;24
Becca Ribbing
Right. You know, a lot of times when your you know, your really good producer, you keep getting pushed up and management and, you know, sometimes it’s not a good fit personality-wise. Usually that is the case when someone comes to me and is actually trying to like still stay at a somewhat comparable level, like not just wholesale blow everything up, but get back to the solo contributor role because you know, if you don’t have the personality type for management, you, you know, you can really lose what you loved about your job in the first place.

00;04;25;24 – 00;04;30;12
Becca Ribbing
If your job ends up being becoming, managing and managing isn’t a love of yours.

00;04;31;00 – 00;04;46;13
David Hall
I think in that case, there can be a lot of pressure. Of course, you want to be a manager, right? And for some people, it’s great and that’s the right progression for them. I do know a lot of people that, as you phrased it, they might be a solo contributor and they’re so happy with it. They love it.

00;04;46;19 – 00;05;03;25
David Hall
But they’re they’re made to feel guilty like, well, don’t you want to move up? Or You should be moving up. So I think that’s a really good point as we’re talking about clarity. So I’ve been working through the Clarity Journal. You have some great prompts in there. Tell us more about it and how it all came about.

00;05;04;18 – 00;05;35;05
Becca Ribbing
So it’s really funny. It came about basically one of my friends hit me with the idea with like a two-by-four over the head because I was in my own place of uncertainty and lack of clarity. I mean, I’ve been coaching for a long, long time, but I think sometimes when we talk about clarity, we talk about clarity as if it’s like a 30-year plan when really a lot of times what you really need clarity about is what you are doing right now, where you’re going next.

00;05;36;14 – 00;06;03;21
Becca Ribbing
And so I had just come out of this pretty dark period. I for reference, I have two children, two boys. There are five and a half years apart. And the first child I was one of those annoying, glowing pregnant women who was doing yoga the day I delivered. I did yoga like 4 hours before I gave birth to my kid and then my second child.

00;06;03;21 – 00;06;29;21
Becca Ribbing
I ended up with a hip injury and had a hip injury through basically the entire pregnancy. I got the hip injury during my first trimester, so I was using a cane and I mean, I was pretty immobilized, especially compared to previous where, you know, I was really active and physical and I was really hard mentally. And then my husband got his dream job.

00;06;29;21 – 00;06;59;09
Becca Ribbing
We moved from Seattle, Washington, or we moved from Washington, D.C. to Seattle, Washington in my third trimester. And then little buddy was born and he had really awful chronic ear infections for the first year of his life. So to say I was underwater like is the understatement of the year. I was really just like keeping the kids alive by the end of all of it and like and working with the clients I had.

00;06;59;26 – 00;07;28;00
Becca Ribbing
But I had let go of all the business development that I had been doing. I like, you know, when you’re in the middle of one of those situations, you let go of so much stuff. I let go of all of my hobbies. I let go of everything else. And the funny thing I think that a lot of people can relate to maybe is that when you’re coming back out of that period of intensity and struggle, a lot of times when you’re in the middle of it, you’re just running on adrenaline.

00;07;28;00 – 00;07;50;12
Becca Ribbing
And when you come out of it, you’re realizing that things are missing. But, you know, what is it that’s not bringing me fulfillment? What is this? Why isn’t this bringing me more joy? Things are better. And so I also did what most of us do. I complained about it to a friend over and over and over again. Like, I don’t know what I should be doing next.

00;07;50;12 – 00;08;16;26
Becca Ribbing
Like, something’s not right. Like, I can’t really throw myself into my work, right? Yeah. Like, and probably it was somewhat like a trauma response in retrospect, now that I’m thinking about it. She was great. She was like, Becca, you complain about this enough. Like, what would you tell yourself? And I was like, Oh, right, so what would I tell myself?

00;08;16;26 – 00;08;35;25
Becca Ribbing
And the real answer to that question is, I wouldn’t tell myself anything. I wouldn’t tell a client like like from on high, oh, this is what you should do. What I do with clients is I ask lots and lots of questions. I use these questions to help them gain clarity, because clarity always has to come from within.

00;08;35;25 – 00;08;56;02
Becca Ribbing
It has to be really like from within, from like the deepest part of yourself. And if it’s someone giving you the answer, a lot of times, that’s why it doesn’t feel right to begin with. Like, well, what you were talking about when someone hits management and they’re not a good fit for it, it feels like a step back.

00;08;56;02 – 00;09;18;06
Becca Ribbing
Well, it feels like a step back because society, because of all the things that we’ve been told about how our career progression should be. So all of these answers always end up if they’re going to really be the right answer, they need to come from within. So I just started writing out every question I ever asked a client that helped them have those aha moments.

00;09;18;06 – 00;09;34;04
Becca Ribbing
And as I was writing them down, some of them are one day and some of them are really cool, but there’s like a nice flow to it. Like we start with like what’s going well? Because I think a lot of times when you’re in the middle of struggle, when you’re in the middle of uncertainty, you usually start with that.

00;09;34;17 – 00;10;02;11
Becca Ribbing
But starting with what’s going well, what’s good, what your strengths are really helps set the framework for making sure that you are making a move strongly. So, as I was working through all these questions, I realized how powerful it was. And I also realized that one of the reasons why I was still so discontented, even though things were better, was because I had let go of all of my writing while I had been in the middle of that dark space.

00;10;02;27 – 00;10;14;28
Becca Ribbing
I just didn’t have time for it and so I ended up deciding to make the Clarity Journal, my first writing project, and which is funny, but I think it’s really worked.

00;10;14;28 – 00;10;21;29
David Hall
Yeah, definitely. And that’s funny. Like sometimes it’s you help other people and what would you tell them, you know?

00;10;22;17 – 00;10;48;27
Becca Ribbing
Right. Well, and I think we often do that like yes, you know, it’s like I like I am not an expert in business development. I am not a business coach. However, if a friend comes to me with business development questions, I may not be able to answer that for myself. I may need to go to an expert myself, but for them I definitely have a good, like good insight into how you should be thinking about it.

00;10;48;27 – 00;11;06;24
Becca Ribbing
And so I think a lot of times when someone else asks us the questions, when someone else kind of jars us out of, however, we’ve been thinking about a problem, it really helps to expand the problem into the place where you can actually be creative about solving it.

00;11;07;18 – 00;11;19;21
David Hall
Yeah, absolutely. It’s funny, we’re often guilty of that. Like we can help other people, but not necessarily think about the things that we would tell other people apply to us too. Yeah. So again, the clarity journals. Great, let’s.

00;11;19;21 – 00;11;20;10
Becca Ribbing
Go. It’s a little bit.

00;11;20;10 – 00;11;25;02
David Hall
More like what is clarity and why is it so important?

00;11;25;02 – 00;11;49;13
Becca Ribbing
So I feel like somehow sometimes one of the reasons why we all struggle with clarity right now, I think it’s kind of twofold. I think that we get a little stuck in the 1950s mentality about clarity, like we’ve given up the idea of our 1950s career path, but we haven’t necessarily given up a 1950s idea about what clarity is.

00;11;49;21 – 00;12;11;20
Becca Ribbing
And I think sometimes we struggle because if it feels like we should have clarity and that clarity should be with us for 50 years, 40 years, 30 years, that’s a big commitment, you know, and and it makes you freeze up, like, is this the right thing? Well, I think in a lot of ways, clarity is really what are you going to do for the next couple of years?

00;12;12;02 – 00;12;36;06
Becca Ribbing
And if you’re really grounded and making sure that you’re making the right decision for you right now, that will unfold in very interesting ways. But you need to allow that you’re a growing, engaged human being that is going to be a different person in five years. And I think sometimes that’s hard for us to really realize even as we get older.

00;12;36;18 – 00;13;07;18
Becca Ribbing
But who I am today is not exactly who I am going to be in five years. Who like what I’m going to be interested in today. You know, general themes are going to be there. I’m always going to be interested in science. I’m kind of a statistics geek. I am always going to like be like like click on CNN and be like, oh, look, this interesting study, however, how I end up using that in my life, how I integrate it into my job, all of that might change.

00;13;07;18 – 00;13;28;17
Becca Ribbing
And also anyone who’s listening to this is interested in personal development and human growth. You know, you don’t listen to personal development podcasts if you’re not interested in it for yourself. Yeah, true. So while you probably know people, that would be perfectly happy, just like talking about like their favorite football team for the rest of their life and they aren’t very engaged at work and that’s fine.

00;13;29;05 – 00;13;55;13
Becca Ribbing
That’s probably not the average listener of this particular podcast. So and that’s great. I mean, we need people who I mean, we both need people who are going to like be avid football watchers. And, and I know there are people, there’s overlap. I’m making a generalization, but, but we need people who are going to be very content and just status quo because it does keep society fairly stable.

00;13;55;21 – 00;14;02;13
Becca Ribbing
We also need the Dreamers and I’m assuming I’m talking mostly to people that have a bit of the dreamer in them.

00;14;03;19 – 00;14;25;06
David Hall
Yeah, I think that’s a pretty fair assumption. We are talking about the person who really does want to understand their strengths and incorporate those into their dreams. But I really like how you saying that because we do change over time. Like the things that we want. You know, like you said, there are some things that are always going to be with me.

00;14;25;06 – 00;14;43;29
David Hall
I’m a very analytical person. I always will be. That is never going to change. But I’ve been podcasting for about a year. When I first got out of college, there was no such thing as podcasts, you know? I had no idea I was going to be doing this, but I love it. I love this work that I’m doing now, helping introverts find their strengths.

00;14;43;29 – 00;14;57;26
David Hall
But that wasn’t something that I was going to be working on when I first got out of college with my psychology degree. So we do definitely change our wants and desires change. So I like that that you’re really not making a 30 year plan.

00;14;59;04 – 00;15;32;03
Becca Ribbing
Well, you know, going to your point about how rapidly things are changing and podcasting was it didn’t exist. I think sometimes also like when we talk about strengths, some of our strengths were actively diminished. In school. I had another podcaster who I was talking to about strengths and, and, and I talked I was talking about school and how school kind of sometimes pigeonholes you and doesn’t let and doesn’t really let you express all of your strengths.

00;15;32;03 – 00;15;51;16
Becca Ribbing
You really only need to you really only they only want you to express the strengths that are pertinent for school. So like one of the podcasters I was talking to said, Oh my gosh, my teacher. I think if I went back and looked at my records, all she’d ever say is I talk too much in class, and now she’s a podcaster.

00;15;51;16 – 00;16;11;21
Becca Ribbing
Like, you know, it’s I think it’s really hard sometimes to embrace the strengths that are the easily lovable by teachers, easily lovable by parents like your analytical side, I’m sure got tons of praise when you were a kid.

00;16;12;03 – 00;16;12;25
David Hall
Sometimes.

00;16;13;13 – 00;16;13;26
Becca Ribbing
Sometimes.

00;16;14;15 – 00;16;16;06
David Hall
Sometimes I was too analytical.

00;16;16;19 – 00;16;44;18
Becca Ribbing
Yeah, about that. As soon as I said that, I was like, Oh, I can cut both ways. But I think, yeah, I think that’s one of the reasons why it’s sometimes hard to find our strengths and really embrace our strengths is because our strengths can be a double-edged sword for other people, you know, not necessarily that’s a double-edged sword for you, but you end up hearing negative things about it and don’t really just embrace this is who I am and this is what I’m bringing to the world.

00;16;44;18 – 00;17;24;17
Becca Ribbing
And sure, like maybe I need to learn not to be hyper-analytical with my wife when she’s upset about the dishes, but that might be like something out of my own life. I but I’d like to embrace who we are is such a gift and I guess that’s also part of what like the journey I feel like the Clarity Journal is helping people go on is really getting more comfortable, being able to articulate their strengths and be able to articulate really deeply what they want is.

00;17;24;17 – 00;17;46;04
Becca Ribbing
I think also sometimes we feel selfish, we feel like we shouldn’t be so picky or choosy. There are all sorts of different negative words I could say about like when you really get down to it, you know, not everyone is going to appreciate what you want to do. And there’s a lot of naysaying.

00;17;47;04 – 00;18;07;25
David Hall
You know, I have to say, it’s funny, you brought up an example of somebody talking too much in class. And on this show, we talk about that comments often not talking enough. And again, there’s a strength there, but you have to understand how to help either type of student use their strengths in a clarity journal. You have a really great list of strengths.

00;18;07;25 – 00;18;11;26
David Hall
I think. How do you help people discover what their strengths are?

00;18;13;01 – 00;18;40;01
Becca Ribbing
You know, I think there are two different types of people. There are definitely people that do kind of see that list can highlight it, know what they’re like. As soon as they actually see it, it kind of sends off that aha moment. And there’s another type of person that really still struggles with it because various reasons. Sometimes it really was punished when they were a kid or just they don’t really feel confident in it.

00;18;40;01 – 00;19;03;05
Becca Ribbing
And I think that one of the things that I tell people is to look at the things you do easily in a different way. And I’m not actually sure I go into this in the clarity. I think I do, actually, but the things that go easiest for you are your strengths. And a lot of times because they come easy, you undervalue them.

00;19;03;24 – 00;19;27;25
Becca Ribbing
And on the flip side, a lot of times you get annoyed when other people don’t have that strength. I find that it’s really funny when I’m talking to clients because what ends up happening is I’ll have a session or two and as I’m getting all of their stories and hearing all of the different things that they’ve been thinking about, I end up I start doing this thing where I’ll listen to a story and then I’ll be like, Can we hold on here for 1/2?

00;19;28;07 – 00;20;01;14
Becca Ribbing
I just want to point out that if in case you’re not aware of it, that is a major strength of yours. And almost inevitably when I say that, they pause and they get really introspective and not in a like, Oh, you’re right, it’s usually in a room. I’m not sure I agree with you sort of way. And that’s because it comes easy and that’s or they’ve practiced it so much, it’s easy to them now.

00;20;01;29 – 00;20;31;04
Becca Ribbing
And so because it comes easy to them, they expect everyone to be able to do it. And in reality, the reason why it comes easy to them is because that’s how they are wired either innately or like through their own work. And not everyone has done that. And so as soon as you can start really noticing that you have the strength, you’ll also notice where that strength is triggering negative beliefs about other people that don’t have it.

00;20;32;08 – 00;20;59;12
Becca Ribbing
You can also start noticing other people’s strengths a little more eyes wide open like, Oh, if I have this strength, what is coming easy to this other person besides annoying me is and I think that it’s really valuable because the more you can see the world, more that you see the world as made up of people that all have very different makeups and very different strength backgrounds.

00;21;00;04 – 00;21;25;25
Becca Ribbing
You can see how they kind of fit together and, you know, I think we were talking about before we got on the podcast, like, I’m an extrovert. I think you could probably tell I’m an extrovert. Just the way I talk. And my husband’s an introvert and, you know, it’s, you know, we could be two introverts. And I’m sure there are a lot of people on this podcast that are two introverts married to each other, but there are strengths involved.

00;21;25;25 – 00;22;06;07
Becca Ribbing
And having two, having an extrovert and an introvert married. My husband is an introvert. One of my both my kids are like kind of more extroverted want my kids is kind of more of an omnivore. My other kid is the most flaming extrovert I’ve ever met. So I feel like if my husband had been married to another introvert, it probably would have been really hard to manage that and manage your own energy regarding that, you know, and I think that sometimes there’s just value in whatever differences you have with people because those differences make you all stronger.

00;22;07;13 – 00;22;39;24
David Hall
Wow. And that’s why I talk about strengths so much is because I know that we all have our unique strengths. And I also have been in a place where I wasn’t using my strengths and now on a pretty regular basis, I use most of my time is spent in my strengths and it’s just such a different experience. You do more fulfilling work when you’re working in your strengths and you said so much there, it’s like, okay, so with you and your husband, you bring different things.

00;22;39;27 – 00;23;04;22
David Hall
But you know, I can tell you understand him and what he needs and his strengths and hopefully he has the same for you. A lot of times we don’t understand that we have strengths. You know, we think everybody is the same like you were describing. And then we don’t appreciate somebody else or we don’t even see their gifts.

00;23;05;04 – 00;23;24;10
David Hall
We don’t value their ideas because we don’t see where they’re coming from. That’s why it’s so important to really get to know our strengths, have other people know our strengths. Sometimes we need to partner on things, and that’s just a big part of this conversation. So again, I think that there’s a great list there and give that some thought.

00;23;24;10 – 00;23;34;18
David Hall
And the more you can work in your strengths, the more you can get done those things that you really want to do and accomplish your goals and your dreams when you’re doing what you’re good at.

00;23;35;04 – 00;24;04;25
Becca Ribbing
Right. Well, and I think also the strengths in my book are slightly different, like the strengths you’d find in like your Myers-Briggs type or whatnot. And that, yeah, when you’re choosing them yourself, when you’re picking out like what is what, what really stands out to you on a page. There’s also a lot about your values in that, you know, it’s it really does show you what you value about yourself and what you value about the world as well.

00;24;04;25 – 00;24;45;29
Becca Ribbing
So I think that sometimes when we talk about strengths, we leave that deeper peace out. And I think that deeper peace is really important because, you know, if you’re creative and that is a self-identified strength of yours, you know, you probably really value beauty in the world. You probably or you really value great writing, great literature, or there’s going to be some sort of artistic expression that you really value, which another person might not, but it actually tells you a lot about how you process the world besides just that you are inherently creative.

00;24;45;29 – 00;25;17;11
Becca Ribbing
It’s also telling you that you value creativity in the world, and I think that’s really important to know. Or if you’re analytical and you pick out analytical for yourself, it’s like, okay, you value order, you value things that are just the word. Like you value things that are definable. You value really looking at a problem fairly like analytically, and that shows you a different side.

00;25;17;11 – 00;25;39;25
Becca Ribbing
But honestly, like if you picked then analytical and creative, that shows you a completely other different thing. And I think that that’s kind of where it’s cool is like if you really can dove into what is the say about how I see the world and stuff, then it can really help you, really help guide you through which jobs you might want, what is going to be a good fit, what isn’t a good fit?

00;25;40;07 – 00;25;42;17
Becca Ribbing
So I think it’s really important.

00;25;43;12 – 00;25;47;25
David Hall
Okay, well, let me ask you, what is a strength that helps you be a great coach?

00;25;49;03 – 00;26;18;21
Becca Ribbing
I make connections really quickly. I am analytical, but I wouldn’t necessarily say that. I’d say that like I’m more creatively analytical and I can hear someone talk about a story and I’m really good at like picking out the personality types of the people that they are talking about. I’m pretty good at. I mean, I don’t try it. I try not to arms that armchair psych, you know.

00;26;18;22 – 00;26;45;17
Becca Ribbing
Yeah, everyone’s coworkers. But it’s really helpful because wherever you are, they’re like wherever you go, there you are is the quote. And, you know, I help people get new jobs, but a lot of times I can tell from the very beginning the problem with their job currently isn’t actually the job. The problem with their job is they had no boundaries at the beginning of the job and now their boss is totally taking advantage of them and it’s really hard for them.

00;26;45;17 – 00;27;09;08
Becca Ribbing
So if you have no boundaries at the beginning of a job, of course the boss is going to keep piling stuff on you like it’s it’s natural. The boss is overloaded. The boss can give you this. You never say no. Well, it feels like what you really need to do is get another job. And you very well might need to get another job because it’s very hard to change that dynamic midstream.

00;27;09;13 – 00;27;26;18
Becca Ribbing
You can do it, but it’s hard. You get another job though, and you don’t learn boundaries. Then you’re just going to carry on. You’re going to love that job for three months, the boss, and start overloading you. You’re not going to have boundaries. You’re going to hate the job. You’re going come back to me and tell me, hey, this wasn’t it.

00;27;26;18 – 00;27;51;12
Becca Ribbing
And it’s not that. It wasn’t it? It was that you didn’t say no. You didn’t tell people what you needed. I think that’s natural. But there are certain things like that that are helpful to hear before you go into a new job. It’s like, okay, I’m here. I can say I am hearing all of this and I am not even just diminishing it.

00;27;51;14 – 00;28;04;00
Becca Ribbing
I am sure your boss is a narcissist, or I’m sure your boss is a pain in the neck. However, even the nicest boss you are going to start disliking. If you can’t have boundaries from the beginning.

00;28;05;20 – 00;28;22;05
David Hall
Yeah, for sure. So you describe for yourself that you kind of in the journal you call it being stuck. Sometimes we just have to survive, you know, we get in survival mode and it’s just what you have to do. How do people get out of that?

00;28;23;26 – 00;28;45;11
Becca Ribbing
Yeah, the first first place to get out of it is actually recognizing that you’re in it. Okay. I think that a lot of times, like what happened with me and my friend, I didn’t really realize, even though I was complaining about it and I should have realized, I didn’t really realize what was going on until I had the mirror held up to my face.

00;28;45;28 – 00;29;13;11
Becca Ribbing
And I think that we have so many distractions now. We have the phone, we have the computers, we have our TV is like, if you are uncomfortable about a situation, if you are in the middle of stress, it is really easy to alleviate that stress by going and watching five episodes on Netflix or flipping through TikTok videos for, you know, I sometimes feel it’s crazy.

00;29;13;11 – 00;29;50;26
Becca Ribbing
Like I can watch Tik Tok videos and not even realize that I spent an hour doing it. You know? And I think that when we are stuck, we find ourselves doing that more because it’s self-soothing. I mean, it’s basically like giving a kid a pacifier or a baby a pacifier. So I think that that is really the first place to the first place that you would actually help get yourself unstuck is the process of recognizing I am stuck and I need to sit in this feeling of being stuck longer and not just try to push it off.

00;29;52;08 – 00;30;02;21
David Hall
Okay. So you have to realize that you’re stuck, right? Sometimes that might be the catalyst when you really are feeling that’s gone on too long, maybe.

00;30;03;08 – 00;30;28;16
Becca Ribbing
Right. And then I think that there are a couple different ways. I mean, I am a big believer in journaling, but I know a lot of people are not not natural writers. And so I tell people, if you don’t like writing, pull out of like open up a voice memo, write to yourself, like speak it to yourself or there’s otter, which you can do a voice memo and it will transcribe it and then you have it written down.

00;30;28;16 – 00;31;05;04
Becca Ribbing
But I think it’s really important to have it somewhere physically. I mean, voice memo in the cloud, maybe that doesn’t count as physical to you, but to me it’s actually making a commitment to something. And I think that also then expanding your frame of reference, like if that’s journaling, you know, if you go and look back at my journals from when I was like in high school, you will see I talked about basically one thing whatever problem with the guy I was at the time and it wasn’t like trying to figure out the problem.

00;31;05;04 – 00;31;26;10
Becca Ribbing
It was just like harping on the problem over and over again. So you can definitely journal in a way that you’re not actually solving your problems. So I do like either the Clarity Journal or journaling prompts. There are loads of journaling prompts on the internet to, I think also getting outside of your comfort zone and asking people for help.

00;31;27;06 – 00;31;48;26
Becca Ribbing
I think a lot of times we talk about clarity. One of the problems is we have ideas that we want to do. The problem is we don’t have the experience to really decide whether it’s the right course or not for us. And I joke we don’t. It’s a joke that we don’t really have a problem with, like Gen Z and Millennial Boomer Gen X.

00;31;49;15 – 00;32;08;28
Becca Ribbing
What we really have a problem with is that we are all in generation Google. We have this an infinite amount of information at our fingertips and we feel like we should be able to Google something and figure out the answer. But if it’s Googling, like how many miles from the earth to the sun, that’s one thing that’s easy.

00;32;08;28 – 00;32;36;26
Becca Ribbing
You don’t need to have personal experience to understand that. But when you are Googling how to become a writer, for example, well, you’re going to get a you literally could not read every single blog on how to become a writer in your entire lifetime. You know, you could just literally keep scrolling through Google until you die. So the problem isn’t that you don’t have the information.

00;32;36;26 – 00;33;02;19
Becca Ribbing
The problem is all of these people have different opinions and you don’t have the experience to synthesize it. So there is a human element to clarity that I think that a lot of people ignore. And so that is finding a coach is like a fast one, but also making sure that the friends that you are talking to about your problems actually have the experience to help you.

00;33;03;23 – 00;33;30;12
Becca Ribbing
The other thing is, is if you’re only talking to one person about something, the only getting their perspective, it really helps if you have multiple people that have experience. So you’re able to take everyone’s perspective and kind of synthesize it into your own. I think also making sure that the people that you are talking to about whatever problem or stuckness that you are having are supportive.

00;33;30;23 – 00;34;09;01
Becca Ribbing
You know, if you’re talking to your sister who is always dismissing your dreams, that’s just going to play your energy down. So I think that it’s just really recognizing that there may not be an answer that’s like 100%. You’re also going to have to get comfortable with uncertainty. And maybe each of the answers is an 80% answer. But if you’re really struggling with an answer, it’s probably because you don’t have all the information that you need yet, and that information is not going to be able to necessarily be gotten by Google.

00;34;09;01 – 00;34;16;04
Becca Ribbing
It’s probably going to need to be really more humanly researched by having an in-depth conversations with people.

00;34;16;26 – 00;34;25;23
David Hall
Yeah, good points. It’s like you can find information, different facts like you’re saying. But I always say you can’t Google Wisdom. It’s like, yeah.

00;34;26;03 – 00;34;26;26
Becca Ribbing
Great quote.

00;34;26;26 – 00;34;47;10
David Hall
Yeah, it’s like over time, somebody like you that’s been helping people figure all this out, you know, you’ve a lot of experience and a lot of wisdom. There’s a lot of great information out there, but that’s something that is definitely misunderstood. Oh yeah, you can Google that. This and that’s great. And I love it. I love that you can find anything out you want to.

00;34;47;26 – 00;34;52;26
David Hall
But you’re right, there’s a lot of experience out there that you need to tap into.

00;34;52;26 – 00;35;04;13
Becca Ribbing
Yeah, I love that. I’m like, say here, like my patterns all the way across the table and I’m like, I want to write that. So Google Wisdom.

00;35;04;13 – 00;35;14;22
David Hall
So I mean, as you’re helping people, there could be a lot of different choices and using your strengths and following your dreams. And how do you help people kind of narrow that down?

00;35;16;05 – 00;35;43;26
Becca Ribbing
You know, I find that most people already have it narrowed down for themselves. What they need is that human experience to make sure it’s the right thing. I laugh. I always start my sessions with, but usually people will send me a pretty detailed email about what they’re doing and what, you know, where their stock. And we started out with, okay, so you’ve told me all these things.

00;35;44;10 – 00;36;10;10
Becca Ribbing
Are there any like random things that you aren’t comfortable, been comfortable talking about? So like, are you hoping to open a coffee shop or a Bikram yoga studio or like just anything kind of out of left field? And the interesting thing is that almost always there’s a yes. I mean, they’re not usually is like creative. Bikram yoga instructor.

00;36;10;10 – 00;36;39;17
Becca Ribbing
It’s, you know, I’ve definitely had where someone just wasn’t even able to articulate it to themselves that they wanted a wholesale change and they already had a master’s degree in what they were doing. And they were going to get another master’s degree for what they wanted to do. And we ended up spending, you know, a couple of months just get it, really helping her get clarity about whether what kept calling to her was what she really should do.

00;36;40;02 – 00;36;46;21
Becca Ribbing
But if you had talked to her 30 minutes before our first session, she would not have been able to tell you that.

00;36;47;15 – 00;37;02;07
David Hall
Yeah. Yeah, that’s interesting. You know, sometimes, like you said, people have some ideas, but they’re just I don’t know what it is. Maybe they think if they say it, they’re just going to be tied down to it or something. But they know some things that they want to do.

00;37;02;24 – 00;37;26;04
Becca Ribbing
Yeah. Yeah. And then sometimes I do help people with like just exploring how to make money in a specific industry. A really good example of this is I used to when I was living in Seattle, I, I left Seattle a couple of years or a couple of months ago, used to run a meetup group to help people with resume writing.

00;37;26;07 – 00;37;53;09
Becca Ribbing
It was kind of my volunteer project is that people would come meet me at Starbucks. I had help, a huge group of people with their resumes. And the thing I loved about it is that I just found so many careers I had never even heard of. So my favorite example of this is a sound brander. I met a musician who his daytime job was to work for companies like Starbucks or like the kind of the bigger companies.

00;37;53;19 – 00;38;19;13
Becca Ribbing
And he would like make sure all of the sounds were consistent in all of their advertising, on their website, their phone jingle, whatever, to make sure that it all was consistent. So like if you think about Starbucks as a good example, like they used to sell those CDs is they have a Spotify channel, they have the music in the, you know, in the the coffee shop.

00;38;19;13 – 00;38;39;18
Becca Ribbing
They probably have music on their area. I don’t know where they have music. I am not a musician, but it was a really interesting things. I was like, I would have never thought of that as a way of like having a real day job as a musician. I know some of that and like kind of more normal ones.

00;38;40;13 – 00;39;04;12
Becca Ribbing
So I think that sometimes people come to me because they really do want to be in a specific industry, but they are trying to figure out their niche in it. And because I talk to so many people, I have a bigger basis to pull from than a lot of other people. And I have a, a really good idea of like things that I don’t know and how to find those answers.

00;39;04;12 – 00;39;28;07
Becca Ribbing
Like one of my favorite pieces of advice for people, if you’re really stuck about what you want to do next, go just type in like whatever degree you have. Go type that into LinkedIn and search for that degree and just look at what everybody else with that degree is doing. And sometimes that can lead you to a really interesting career paths.

00;39;28;21 – 00;39;50;06
Becca Ribbing
Also, you can always reach out and be like, Hey, do you mind if I pick your brain? I’d say maybe 30% of people that do that. So 30% of the people you do that with will say yes, but no one’s going to write you back being like You jerk, you shouldn’t have emailed. Yeah, they’re either going to ignore you or they’re going to say yes or I mean, everyone’s will.

00;39;50;06 – 00;40;23;00
Becca Ribbing
You’ll go, Oh, I wish I could. I’m so busy. But you know, I think that we we avoid that. And I assume introverts probably avoid it more, but extroverts definitely avoid it. I have had really extroverted people be like, Oh, you can do that. This is like, but that’s where the human wisdom comes in. Like you talking to that person and seeing what they did and whether they’re happy with it and all, yada, yada, yada, like it really helps you develop your vision for yourself.

00;40;24;07 – 00;40;51;27
David Hall
And I think that’s where there’s kind of a mixture because you can really the Internet is so full of great tools to look at all kinds of options out there. But then combining that with the human element like you’re talking about, because often, you know, in the work I’ve done with people on this, they’re not aware of all the possibilities like they not know there’s such a thing as a sound brander, but that may be something that just really lights them up every day, you know?

00;40;52;06 – 00;41;15;00
David Hall
And and so there’s definitely a lot of research that can be done. And also talking with somebody that has experience and and being able to guide your search in your journey. Yeah, well, Becca, we’ve talked about a lot of things getting clarity, your clarity journal. Is there anything that we didn’t talk about that you would like to.

00;41;15;00 – 00;41;37;23
Becca Ribbing
I can’t think of anything off the top of my head. I guess I just really encourage anyone who is listening if they’re finding themselves stuck. Let this be the wake up call that they don’t need to stay stuck. However, they end up processing through it and journeying through it. Life really is too short to stay in this feeling.

00;41;38;07 – 00;41;57;01
David Hall
Yeah, that’s for sure. We really should be doing work that we’re passionate about because there’s a lot of different opportunities and we have our strengths. And I always hate to see when people are just like living for the weekends and, you know, dreading Mondays. And I feel fortunate that I’m not in that place. I love what I do.

00;41;57;11 – 00;42;02;17
David Hall
I love spending time with my family and friends, of course. But, you know, I love my work, too.

00;42;02;20 – 00;42;04;10
Becca Ribbing
So that’s awesome.

00;42;05;07 – 00;42;10;25
David Hall
All right. Thank you so much, Becca. Of course. Where can people find out more about the Clarity Journal and the work that you do?

00;42;11;11 – 00;42;20;01
Becca Ribbing
Thank you so much for having me. So My name is Becca Ribbing. I’m at Becca Ribbing Tor.com. And the Clarity Journal is really easy to find on Amazon.

00;42;21;16 – 00;42;23;17
David Hall
All right. Well, thanks again.

00;42;23;17 – 00;42;24;11
Becca Ribbing
All right. Thank you.

00;42;25;26 – 00;42;46;08
David Hall
Thank you so much for joining me. I look forward to further connecting with you. Reach out to David at quietandstrong.com or check out the QuietandStrong.com website, which includes blog posts, links to social media and other items. Send me topics or guests you would like to see on the show if you’re interested in getting to know yourself better.

00;42;46;08 – 00;43;08;25
David Hall
There’s now a free type finder personality assessment on the quiet and strong website. This free assessment give you a brief report, including the four-letter Myers-Briggs code. A lot of link to the show notes. There’s so many great things about being an introvert, so we need those to be understood. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs and be strong.

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