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Have you ever wondered whether it matters if you’re an Introvert, Ambivert or Extrovert, and how knowing the answer can make a difference?

In this episode, David explains that it’s not enough to just give yourself a label. In fact, just giving yourself a label doesn’t really mean anything. In fact, sometimes we’re afraid of labels, and some people really do not want to label themselves as Introverts because they don’t understand what that means.  But by understanding what these terms mean, by truly understanding your own strengths and needs, you can become more confident, more productive and more successful. 

Introversion and extroversion are not a matter of whether you “like people or not…” Everyone needs belonging and connection! But on a deeper level, where do you spend your focus?  Where do you get your energy? How do you gather and process information?  What do your relationships look like? What lights you up?

Listen now as we discuss all of these questions and more, to discover why understanding yourself and your strengths and needs is the key to being strong.


Contact the host of the Quiet and Strong Podcast: 

David Hall

Author, Speaker, Educator, Podcaster

quietandstrong.com

Gobio.link/quietandstrong

david [at] quietandstrong.com

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Minding Your Time: Time Management, Productivity, and Success, Especially for Introverts

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Podcast Transcript

00;00;09;06 – 00;00;32;19
David Hall
Hello and welcome to Episode 91 of the Quiet and Strong Podcast, especially for introverts. I’m your host, David Hall, and the creator of QuietandStrong.com. It’s a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced normally. Each episode usually airs on Monday morning.  Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform.

00;00;32;26 – 00;01;05;11
David Hall
Leave a review. Tell a friend. Help get the word out there. So, introversion and extroversion. Why does it matter? You know, I’ve had a lot of great guests on the podcast. We talk about the strengths and needs of introversion. We bust myths, and we talk about strategies for success. It is so helpful to hear the stories from these guests about how they learned to embrace their strengths, honor their needs, and some strategies that they’ve employed in various areas such as public speaking networks.

00;01;05;21 – 00;01;38;08
David Hall
Maybe overcoming social anxiety and so much more. So I’m always on the lookout for great guests, and I also have potential guests approach me whether I find a guest or one approaches me. It’s very important that the guest, whether they be an introvert or extrovert, has a solid understanding of what introversion is and what it is not. The podcast is about busting myths, and definitely I don’t want to have anybody on that’s going to keep some of those misunderstandings going.

00;01;38;22 – 00;02;05;10
David Hall
So I’m very careful about who I have on for you. I was recently approached by someone that said that their client would be great for the client’s strong podcast. His approach to business would include how shy or introverted people should approach business and sales. So I was interested. It sounded good. So I started looking at his podcast and also guest episodes that he was on, and I didn’t find anything about introversion.

00;02;06;10 – 00;02;30;08
David Hall
So I ask if he had ever spoken about introversion before. Again, wanting to check his understanding. And the response was, well, not exactly, but he did want to chat further about it. So we set up a time when we talked about introversion and extroversion, and he obviously related more to the term extrovert. He said he’d like to be the life of the party.

00;02;30;24 – 00;02;57;19
David Hall
And as we were talking further, he also said that he did need downtime throughout his day and also after a big event, maybe where he was the life of the party he needed to recharge and with other things that he said. I wasn’t fully convinced that he was an extrovert. I started to talk to him about this, but it became very apparent that he didn’t want to talk about the possibility of him being an introvert.

00;02;58;15 – 00;03;35;03
David Hall
I did make the observation with him that he may be an introvert. However, he obviously knew what he needed to be successful. He knew his strengths. And that’s what it’s all about. Not the label of introvert or extrovert, and that’s the case. Labels are helpful as a framework to understand yourself, your strengths, and your needs. But we’re all different and you do have different strengths and needs and labels are just supposed to help you understand yourself, relate to some people that are similar to you, and also understand some people that are different than you.

00;03;35;17 – 00;04;00;10
David Hall
But getting the label, that’s not the goal. So he did seem to be equating introversion with shyness. And we know as an introvert, you can be shy, as an extrovert, you can be shy, but shyness, whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, it can be overcome. Introversion, however, is with you to stay. And that’s a beautiful thing. We did have a nice conversation and I made a new friend.

00;04;00;29 – 00;04;23;17
David Hall
We mutually decided that this particular podcast, a quite strong podcast, wasn’t right for him. I wish him the best with his own podcast and the work that he’s doing. So he may or may not have been an introvert. It’s not readily observable. You don’t know what’s going on inside of a person to really understand if their natural preference is towards introversion or extroversion.

00;04;24;06 – 00;04;46;03
David Hall
There could be clues, but again, you won’t really know until you get to know a person. And maybe they might need to get to know themselves as well. So it sounded like he was successful in what he was doing. He knew his strengths and also how to take care of his needs. So why does it matter? Soon after that, I was listening to a podcast.

00;04;46;23 – 00;05;12;20
David Hall
There was an introvert expert that I was interested in, and she had recently written a book on introversion. The host claimed to be an ambivert. Of course, ambivert is if you don’t know, it’s somewhere in the middle. You’re not an introvert, you’re not extrovert. And most of the episode was the hosts going back and forth with the guest justifying why she was an ambivert and how sometimes she was an introvert and needed to be alone.

00;05;12;20 – 00;05;38;00
David Hall
And sometimes she was extroverted, needed people. She needed that time alone and also needed social time. So anyone saying this kind of thing could be an introvert. It’s a common myth we bust on the show regularly. Introverts need connection. We do like people. Our needs around social events and people may be different for sure than extroverts, but we have needs.

00;05;38;23 – 00;06;06;28
David Hall
So with all this talk about ambiversion, the show really didn’t get into the guest book, and that’s what I was listening for. I’m still not sure what the guest book is about and the strategies for success around introversion that she discusses. I’ll have to check that out further another time. And there was really no talk about the host’s strengths as Amber, her or her needs as Amber her or her strategies for success.

00;06;07;21 – 00;06;34;15
David Hall
So just talking about and justifying that you’re Amber heard without a discussion of strengths and needs strategies for success. How does that help? Maybe you are somewhere in the middle and that’s fine. But in the middle of what? What are your natural strengths? What are your natural needs? Have you learned how to use your gifts and honor your needs for your maximum success and happiness?

00;06;35;04 – 00;07;05;10
David Hall
Again, knowing whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert can help with some of these questions. Introverts naturally spend more time in their inner world of ideas. It’s a turning inward that occurs very naturally. Extroverts naturally spend more time focused on the outer world around them. This is a big key, and this preference is not easily or readily observable to the outside of the individual.

00;07;06;13 – 00;07;37;11
David Hall
There may be some clues, but only you’ll really know what your preference is. Of course, we all think and we all focus on what’s around us. The time that we spend and our preferences are different. So how often do you drift into your imagination? You do some of your best work there. Introversion can cause certain behaviors, but introversion isn’t defined by our behaviors.

00;07;38;07 – 00;07;59;21
David Hall
Too often I hear, Well, I like people, so I can’t be an introvert. I must be an extrovert. Or maybe I’m in the middle as an observer. And talk like this does help keep the myth going. Introverts do like people, so you can be an introvert and need social time, need connections. All of that good stuff. But also be a deep thinker.

00;08;00;27 – 00;08;20;21
David Hall
And we’re talking in general terms as there may be introverts out there that do want to be alone most of the time. Again, we’re not talking about anything good or bad. What do you want? I know for me and many introverts I have spoken with, I am a deep thinker. I often go into my imagination. I do some creative problem-solving there.

00;08;21;10 – 00;09;02;06
David Hall
There are those. The feelers are sometimes called empaths that are very in touch with their feelings and emotions as well as those of others. As introverts, we value connections. Often introverts thrive in one on one connections or in small groups, especially when they can discuss the deeper things that have meaning to them. Maybe like the guy I was speaking to, a big party might be fun even for an introvert, but after it’s time to recharge and get back to that inner world of ideas again, I don’t know if he was an introvert or extrovert, I would have needed a much longer conversation with him.

00;09;02;26 – 00;09;28;04
David Hall
But the label may not be that important, as he seemed to know his strengths and what he needed and how to get what he wanted out of life. If you don’t know this, if you don’t know your strengths, your needs, how to get what you want, that is where the introvert-extrovert framework can be very helpful. You can learn from other introverts about their strengths, needs, or you learn your own.

00;09;28;27 – 00;09;52;05
David Hall
You can learn from other introverts how they have learned to lean into their gifts for success in many different endeavors. The label introvert, extrovert, or Amber Bird alone without true self-awareness is not helpful and may even be harmful. It may be harmful if you’re not continuing to explore and understand what makes you the amazing person that you are.

00;09;52;20 – 00;10;16;23
David Hall
So how important is some time alone for you to think and process thoughts and feelings when you’re out being social? Do you get drained when you’re not able to think? Do you need some quiet time to get certain projects done? You need some quiet time to be strategic and do some planning. If you’re more of an empath, do you need some time to recharge?

00;10;16;23 – 00;10;47;01
David Hall
After experiencing too much of the feelings and emotions around you? So what do you want? What do you need? People can’t see what your inner desires are. This is part of the problem of understanding introversion. There are many introverts that people label as extroverts with an incorrect definition. Sure, they’re sociable. They’d be very confident. So they must be extrovert, right?

00;10;48;03 – 00;11;12;25
David Hall
Of course, introverts can be sociable and want to be sociable and also very confident. And if you’re not and you want to learn to be more confident and get what you want socially, that is what the quiet, strong podcast is all about. What do you want? Are there certain kinds of events that you don’t care for, like a networking event with 100 strangers?

00;11;13;24 – 00;11;35;14
David Hall
Can you skip it? Or maybe you do want to go to that event. Or you need to go for different reasons. Maybe you need to learn how to approach it with your unique strengths and gifts and gifts as an introvert. So what do you want? What can you skip? Where do you want to improve? And how can self-awareness as an introvert help?

00;11;37;06 – 00;12;02;11
David Hall
What is the right balance for you? Or time to think and recharge and time to be with others and build relationships. Are you drained by all social interaction and then energized by time alone? Or maybe only certain types of social interaction drain you? Maybe there’s a friend or certain group that really likes you up as you discuss or do certain things together.

00;12;03;03 – 00;12;26;17
David Hall
I know this is the case for me. What are activities that drain you? If you know this, then you can make a plan to recharge after. Maybe you’re an introvert and like me, you love to give speeches. You may need some quiet time before you prepare. I’ve heard this called pre-charge, and then maybe you need some time after to recharge.

00;12;27;13 – 00;12;50;18
David Hall
If you know this, if you know what drains you, you can make a plan. So this energy discussion is an important one for introverts. Sometimes I hear that introverts are drained by people, and I think that’s true. But it’s a little oversimplified. I would rather say as an introvert, you may be drained by certain people and situations. And again, it’s important to identify those.

00;12;51;04 – 00;13;21;17
David Hall
So you know how you can prepare for situations and also recharge after. So next question. Do you often need to think and then speak for introverts? We are wired to think and often we think first and then speak. And when I say that, I don’t mean we’re not self-censoring. You know, we’re not thinking about what we’re saying to keep us out of trouble, although that’s often maybe self-righteousness.

00;13;22;12 – 00;13;46;26
David Hall
But we’re rather taking a moment or more to put our thoughts together. And that’s usually the case for me. I don’t always need to take time to think, especially if I’ve already given the topic at hand a lot of thought. And the funny thing is, when I talk about introversion, I can speak about it off the top of my head and I could speak about it for hours.

00;13;47;04 – 00;14;15;01
David Hall
That introversion, as I have been speaking, writing and researching it for many years now, or do you regularly need to speak in order to think for the extroverts out there? Often they’re thinking out loud, and that’s how they naturally process information. So why is this important to know? If you’re an introvert, you may need to prepare ahead of time for meetings, presentations, speeches and certain conversations.

00;14;15;26 – 00;14;39;01
David Hall
It could be very important, valuable and efficient for you to do some of your thinking and researching ahead of time. Also, if you’re taking time to think in a conversation, it doesn’t mean you’re awkward. It just means you’re using your amazing gift of thinking. Tell people I’m thinking. Or give me a moment. Or give me some time to think about that.

00;14;39;24 – 00;15;08;17
David Hall
You need to honor your gift and figure out what you need. And it’s normal the way you prepare and also communicate will look different from your extroverted friend. And it’s not wrong. It’s just different. Maybe sometimes you prefer to communicate in writing rather than speaking this way. You have all the time you need to get your thoughts together and express your views and desires in written form.

00;15;08;28 – 00;15;29;02
David Hall
How do you usually gather information when you have a question? Are you likely to email or do some web research and then finally call it once you get frustrated? Or maybe the extrovert is going to just pick up the phone right away? Either is right or wrong, but what’s your preference? And more importantly, what works best for you?

00;15;30;04 – 00;15;55;08
David Hall
I am likely to first look up information and communication. You have to look at a situation. If you ever had an email conversation that went terribly wrong, I can think of many personally. Maybe a particular conversation really needs that back-and-forth conversation that would happen over the phone or in person or in a virtual meeting. What’s best for the situation?

00;15;55;08 – 00;16;27;13
David Hall
What’s your preference? When do you need to be adaptable? What are your strengths and being adaptable? So what about Smalltalk? Do you enjoy it? Or is it a necessary evil to get to deeper topics? You get drained if small talk goes on too long. Are you not confident making it or have difficulty? So another key difference is introverts prefer deep conversations over small talk.

00;16;28;15 – 00;16;53;08
David Hall
So as introverts are drawn into their world of ideas, maybe thinking about the mysteries of the universe or how to solve the world’s problems. The weather might not be that interesting. It’s the deeper conversations that we want. Often as introverts. However, I’ve learned that I can do small talk when I need to, when I want to. Sometimes it can actually be fun.

00;16;54;22 – 00;17;21;02
David Hall
Ultimately, it’s probably needed to get to those conversations that you really want to have. At the same time, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Know, I honestly will avoid some small talk. Extroverts, on the other hand, enjoy most kinds of conversation. Are you having the conversations you want? If you’re an introvert, understanding how your mind works. Of craving deep conversation.

00;17;21;08 – 00;17;49;03
David Hall
Thinking before speaking. Doing some preparation when needed can be incredibly helpful is also fine. If you don’t enjoy small talk. There’s nothing wrong with you. So do you have the friendships and relationships you want? Introverts usually prefer a close circle of friends. Very normal introverts want that friend or two that they really share everything with and that they’re telling everything to.

00;17;49;23 – 00;18;20;22
David Hall
Whereas extroverts may have many friends and acquaintances. If you don’t have the friendships you want and need, getting to know yourself can make all the difference. As introverts, we do have many interests, drives, motivations, dreams. Often we’re going to click with those that have similar interests. This may be a fellow introvert or may be an extrovert. Introvert and extrovert relationships work best when there is a mutual understanding of strengths and needs.

00;18;21;15 – 00;18;41;04
David Hall
So are you where you want to be? If not, you can get there. Let me know if you want to go into any of these questions we discussed. Please keep in mind we’re all unique and no person is exactly the same as another. And as we’re doing this journey of self-discovery, it’s really important to not get hung up on the labels.

00;18;41;28 – 00;19;06;14
David Hall
The goal is not to decide on the label, but it’s to take that deeper dove and find out what that label means for you. Again, find out your natural strengths and your needs. If you’re an introvert or extrovert or ambivalent, and that’s all you know, it’s really not that helpful. You need to take that deeper dove and figure out what works best for you.

00;19;07;16 – 00;19;27;27
David Hall
And I want to be clear. Introversion and extroversion, neither are good or bad. And the idea is that we have natural gifts that come to us, and one is better than the other. We’re not fixing introversion. And on the other hand, we’re not trying to fix extroversion, but really come to a greater understand.

00;19;29;27 – 00;19;53;08
David Hall
The other thing is there’s often a misunderstanding that introversion is shyness, and that’s not the case. An introvert can be shy, but also an extrovert can be shy. It’s really a matter of a lack of confidence. And of course, the good news is you can gain confidence and overcome shyness. Whether you’re a shy introvert or extrovert. I know this was the case for me.

00;19;53;11 – 00;20;15;09
David Hall
I’ve overcome shyness that I had when I was younger, but I’m still an introvert. I’m still a deep thinker, very analytical. I’m very proud of that. I’m always going to be an introvert, but I can be confident. And you can, too. You can have your great introvert gifts and be confident, not be shy, overcome social anxiety, all of those things.

00;20;15;26 – 00;20;42;23
David Hall
But the introversion is with you to stay. And introversion doesn’t mean that you’re not social. You may have some different social needs, but you have social needs nonetheless. I look at a friend that’s an extrovert that wants to walk into a room of 50 strangers and wants to meet all of them, maybe even as quickly as possible. This isn’t good or bad, but that’s not my desire.

00;20;42;23 – 00;21;03;14
David Hall
And if you’re an introvert, it probably isn’t yours either. But I do want to get to know people. So if I walk into a room of 50 strangers, maybe it’s having a really meaningful conversation or to making a new friend. But it’s not. I’m not going to enjoy bouncing around from person to person in a rapid-fire fashion.

00;21;03;14 – 00;21;25;26
David Hall
That’s just not going to be me. But those meaningful conversations would be and again, it’s not right or wrong just looks different for introverts and extroverts. And there are many different gifts that we each have. Hopefully you’re employing your unique gifts in the work you do and in your life. So what lights you up? What gets you excited?

00;21;27;08 – 00;21;50;25
David Hall
Maybe due to your reflective nature as an introvert, you’re a creative problem solver. You come up with ideas and innovative solutions that no one else has thought of. Maybe you’re gifted at strategic thinking and planning. Maybe you always have a plan and can easily pivot when things go wrong. Or maybe you’re a great listener and have a gift of being in tune with the thoughts and feelings of others.

00;21;51;14 – 00;22;12;27
David Hall
You are that guide that someone needs on their journey of self-discovery. Maybe you’re a fixer. You have a gift for repairing things. Maybe it’s cars. Maybe it’s keeping that computer network running. And of course, the list can go on and on. What are your gifts that come from your deep thinking or deep feeling ability as an introvert? What brings you to life?

00;22;13;16 – 00;22;40;14
David Hall
Do you know your strengths and your needs? Do you understand the strengths and needs of others in your life? This can be discovered through reading and research conversations with others. Careful observation, which of course, as introverts were particularly good at being reflective. And podcasts are always good. And there are many personality assessments out there. For example, there’s now a free type finder personality assessment on the quiet and strong website.

00;22;40;28 – 00;23;08;14
David Hall
This free assessment will give you a brief report, including a four-letter Myers-Briggs code. This can be a great tool for you as you continue to grow in your self-awareness. The concepts of introversion and extroversion are valuable as a framework. Knowing your strengths and needs as an introvert or extrovert can be incredibly valuable as you design your ideal life to get what you want and shine as you share your strengths with the world.

00;23;09;23 – 00;23;30;16
David Hall
Maybe you are in the middle. You can use the term introvert to keep in mind. It is only helpful if you can answer the questions like the ones we reviewed today. It doesn’t need to be you so you can feel okay about yourself. Too often I hear it used in that way. Well, I’m kind of in the middle.

00;23;30;16 – 00;23;54;25
David Hall
I have the best of both worlds. Maybe you do have the best of both worlds, but you are amazing wherever you fall on the spectrum of introversion and extroversion. So get past the labels. They’re not as important as really understanding your strengths, your needs, and helping you make a plan to be your best. So thank you so much for joining me.

00;23;55;18 – 00;24;16;00
David Hall
I hope you take the time to explore up other episodes and learn from some amazing guests. And I’d love to connect with you. Reach out at David at QuietandStrong.com. Or check out the quietandstrong.com website. Send me topics or guests you’d like to see on the show. There are so many great things about being an introvert, so we need those to be understood.

00;24;16;18 – 00;24;21;13
David Hall
Get to know your introverted strengths and needs and be strong.

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