Episode 137 on building confidence as an introvert with Auto Draft tips.

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Show Notes

Are you an introvert who struggles with confidence? Do you find it challenging to speak up at work? 

If so, this episode of The Quiet and Strong Podcast is for you. Join host David Hall as he welcomes guest Anna Gradie, a confidence coach for introverted women. In this episode, Anna shares her expertise and insights on building confidence as an introvert.

During this insightful discussion, David and Anna delve into the unique strengths and needs of introverts, particularly in professional settings. They address the misconceptions surrounding introversion and debunk the myth that introverts don’t like people. Anna also shares strategies for embracing your introversion and finding confidence in your own voice.

Whether you’re an introvert yourself or seeking to better support introverted colleagues or loved ones, this episode is a must-listen. Anna’s personal journey and expertise as a confidence coach will provide valuable insights and actionable strategies to help introverts embrace their unique strengths and navigate the challenges they may face. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of introversion and unlock your true confident potential.

Don’t miss out on this empowering conversation! Subscribe, leave a review, and tell a friend about The Quiet and Strong Podcast. It’s time to embrace your introversion,  unleash your quiet strength, and be strong.

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Anna Gradie is an introverted Confidence Coach for women in male-dominated industries. Using science-backed strategies, she helps her clients build confidence, accelerate performance, and improve relationships. In 2010, she co-founded and scaled an edtech company into a multi-million-dollar business. She was the COO and head of HR but noticed a huge gender gap in the industry. After a successful exit in 2020, she created her coaching business focused exclusively on supporting women in male-dominated industries. Anna’s purpose is to help close the gender confidence gap and to accelerate equality in the tech industry by empowering women. Anna is also a single mom to two young kids.

Website:  
AnnaGradie.com
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Contact the Host of the Quiet and Strong Podcast:

David Hall

Author, Speaker, Educator, Podcaster

quietandstrong.com
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david [at] quietandstrong.com

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Timestamped Overview

[00:01:47] Former EdTech COO becomes confidence coach for women in tech after personal growth journey. Noticed gender gap in industry and decided to support women.

[00:04:32] The author always knew they were introverted. They embraced it after reading a book. They thrive on one-on-one interactions and enjoy working from home.

[00:10:20] Girls in schools are rewarded for following rules and getting good grades, which leads to a fear of taking risks and making mistakes. Women tend to overthink and dwell on problems rather than finding solutions. They also feel pressured to be perfect in all aspects of life. Boys are socialized to be brave while girls are socialized to be perfect.

[00:14:35] The writer discusses the value of blogging for introverts, challenges the myth of introverts disliking people, and highlights the importance of both alone time and collaboration.

[00:17:25] Extroverts gain energy from socializing, but need to set boundaries to prevent exhaustion.

[00:20:31] Acknowledging natural differences in raising children and working with colleagues. Need for individualized preparation. Jealousy of others’ abilities.

[00:24:52] A shy child learns to speak up with confidence and embrace imperfection.

[00:25:44] Tips for speaking up in work meetings: Prepare, but don’t expect perfection. Coach others struggling with speaking up.

[00:31:18] Connect with me at david@quinesdrunk.com for more information and to suggest show topics and guests. Take the free personality assessment on the Quiet and Strong website. Embrace your introverted strengths.


Key Takeways

During the episode, Anna Gradie, the guest on The Quiet and Strong podcast, shared some valuable suggestions and action steps for women in male-dominated industries. Here are a few of her recommendations:

1. Embrace your introversion: Anna emphasized the importance of understanding and embracing introversion as a strength rather than seeing it as a weakness. By recognizing and embracing their introversion, women can leverage their unique qualities to excel in their careers.

2. Prioritize self-care and alone time: Anna stressed the need for introverted women to prioritize self-care and alone time. Taking time for oneself allows for recharging, reflection, and focusing on personal needs, ultimately boosting confidence and performance.

3. Seek support through coaching: Anna highlighted the transformative power of coaching, particularly for introverted women. By working with a confidence coach, women can gain valuable insights, tools, and strategies to build their confidence, improve performance, and enhance relationships.

4. Practice speaking up: Anna encouraged introverted women to practice speaking up and sharing their thoughts and ideas. Building confidence in speaking up may involve small steps, such as contributing in meetings, voicing opinions, or even presenting in public. With practice, introverted women can gradually become more comfortable and confident in expressing their voices.

5. Challenge perfectionism: Anna emphasized the importance of challenging perfectionism, which often holds women back from taking risks and pursuing opportunities. By embracing imperfection and focusing on progress rather than perfection, women can cultivate a growth mindset that fosters confidence and resilience.

6. Seek a supportive community: Anna suggested finding a community of like-minded individuals who can provide support, encouragement, and understanding. Connecting with other introverted women in similar industries can be empowering and help to navigate common challenges.

These suggestions and action steps aim to empower introverted women, helping them overcome confidence barriers and thrive in their respective fields.


Podcast Transcript

Anna Gradie [00:00:00]:

Being around people and having a lot of social stimulation depletes our energy more than extroverts, extroverts actually get energy from being around others. So based on that, I need to find that balance. And I find, like, I love being social. I do a lot of networking for my business. but I find that often I can’t sleep after because I’m processing all the interactions that I’ve experienced. So just knowing that self awareness, just knowing myself, I set that boundary to leave early and to not do too many events in 1 week.

David Hall [00:00:42]:

Hello, and welcome to episode 137 of Aquaya Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I’m your host, David Hall, and the creator of quietandstrong.com. It’s a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally, we will air each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform. Leave a review. That would mean a lot to me. Tell a friend about the podcast. help get the word out there. The introversion is a beautiful thing. Anna Grady is an introverted confidence coach for women and male-dominated industries. Using science-backed strategies, she helps her clients build confidence, accelerate performance, and improve relationships. Alright. Well, welcome to the Quiet and Strong podcast Annis, Annis. So good to have you on today.

Anna Gradie [00:01:33]:

Thank you so much for having me, David. It’s an honor to be here.

David Hall [00:01:36]:

So we’re gonna get into the great work you do as a confidence coach. But, of course, before we do that, let’s talk a little bit more about your journey as a introvert to becoming a confidence coach.

Anna Gradie [00:01:47]:

Thank you, David. So I’m a former co-founder and COO of an EdTech company, and now I’m a confidence coach for women in touch. I lived in beautiful Vancouver BC with my 2 little kids. About 4 years ago, My husband of 15 years left me for the twenty five-year-old nanny. I was completely shattered. and hired a coach to help me pick up the pieces of my life. I began a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. with the support of my coach. After exploring my core values and purpose in life, I made the tough decision. to take an exit from the company I had built, to take some time off to heal, and to pursue other opportunities. on an impulse, I got certified in emotional intelligence coaching and started my new career in coaching. In my role as COO and head of HR at Ryifor, I noticed a huge gender gap in the industry despite our goal of employing a diverse and inclusive development team, female developers were still grossly underrepresented. In almost 11 years of rapid revenue growth, only 15% of the total number of software developers hired by my company were women. I was also the only woman on the executive team and found it challenging to speak up. and to have a voice in that male dominated environment. Being an introvert made this even worse. I decided to focus my coaching on supporting women in tech navigate the male dominated industry. In my coaching conversations, I kept hearing about lack of confidence holding women back from thriving in tech. And I’ve always struggled with confidence too. I decided to become a confidence coach for women in tech. Most of my clients are introverts. as an introvert. I feel like we often struggle with confidence more than extroverts because we don’t fit into the extroverted ideal of our society here in North America. Hopefully, that’s enough information about my journey.

David Hall [00:04:12]:

Yeah. Thank you for sharing your journey. Yeah. We’re gonna definitely talk about confidence, and it was someone that’s lacking confidence as an introvert. It could be that they don’t understand their introversion. That was the case for me and many people that I talked to. Yeah. So how did you discover that you were an introvert? And then how did you embrace it?

Anna Gradie [00:04:32]:

Yeah. Great question. I think I’ve always known. I was painfully shy as a child, and I always felt like there was something wrong with me. I was terrified of public speaking and spent my life with my nose in a book. I preferred spending time with small groups of friends rather than larger groups. I spent most of my life trying to overcome my introversion, and it wasn’t until I read Susan Cain’s book, quiet, the power of introverts a few years ago that I started to embrace my introverted nature That was a huge moment for me. Everything made sense. I thrive on one on one interactions, which is why coaching is the perfect fit for me. I need my downtime. I love working from home and being by myself.

David Hall [00:05:24]:

You’re not the first guest to mention Susan Cain, and I I, I also greatly benefited from that book, and I highly recommend Susan Cain’s quiet. What caused you to pick up the book?

Anna Gradie [00:05:35]:

Good question. I’ve been on this journey of self discovery and in that journey. I kinda learned more about introversion, and I was curious about it. And I kind of felt felt myself interacting better with clients that were also introverts. So I just Googled books on introversion and hers was on the top of the list.

David Hall [00:05:54]:

Yeah. It probably still is. Yeah. That’s great. That’s great. And what was the main message that you got out of it?

Anna Gradie [00:06:04]:

That introversion isn’t something to overcome. it’s something to celebrate. And in North America, it’s about 1 third of people that are introverts. but in other parts of the world, like Asia, there’s more people that are introverts. So that was interesting to hear that.

David Hall [00:06:22]:

Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. So what would you say is, strength you have because you’re an introvert?

Anna Gradie [00:06:30]:

my listening and my coaching skills, internal processing of emotions and experiences, being able to hold space for others.

David Hall [00:06:41]:

We’re definitely internal processors, but a lot of strength comes from that.

Anna Gradie [00:06:45]:

Yeah.

David Hall [00:06:46]:

We thrive in our inner worlds, and we have some great ideas, creativity from doing that.

Anna Gradie [00:06:52]:

Definitely.

David Hall [00:06:54]:

Is there a myth you wanna bust about introversion?

Anna Gradie [00:06:57]:

That introverts can’t be great leaders. There are tons of amazing introverted leaders out there in the past, Rosa Parks Albert Einstein, more recently Barack Obama, introverted leaders listen to their teams and implement their innovative ideas. And the one other oh, sorry. Go ahead.

David Hall [00:07:20]:

No. I was just gonna say, yeah, that’s a common one. What makes a great leader?

Anna Gradie [00:07:26]:

What makes a great leader? The key to leadership in my opinion is empathy, being able to listen to the needs of your team. and meet people where they’re at. And the loudest voices in the room aren’t always right.

David Hall [00:07:41]:

Yeah. Yeah. That’s that’s for sure. A lot of times, there’s the stereotype that, you know, the loudest is is the best, and that’s just not the case. Yeah. It could be. It could be. Yeah. But as introverts, we can be amazing leaders, and we bring our introverted gifts into it. You know, our thinking skills. We might be very strategic, or we might just, you know, be able to connect really well. Like you’re saying one on 1, that kind of thing. Yeah. So there’s definitely strengths that introverts can bring to leadership and lots of other things that we’ll probably get into. today. Yeah. So tell us about your work as a confidence coach.

Anna Gradie [00:08:25]:

Sure. So I discovered the transformative impact of coaching at the lowest point of my life when I was going to my divorce about four and a half years ago. I always say that coaching saved my life both personally and professionally. I’ve struggled with confidence and lack of confidence since I was a child. But by using the tools I’ve learned through my different coaching certifications, I’ve learned to build my confidence. Confidence is a skill you can build at any age and after any setback in your life. research shows that confidence is your willingness to try, and that definition really resonates with me. It’s about trying new things and getting outside your comfort zone even if you’re scared. There are so many benefits of coach I really believe it can benefit everyone. Coaching takes you from where you are now to where you wanna be in the future. it unleashes your full potential by tapping into your inner wisdom. Essentially, it helps you get out of your own way. and using my science based confidence coaching method, I work with women leaders primarily in the tech industry. My mission is to help close the gender confidence gap and to accelerate equality in the tech industry by empowering women.

David Hall [00:09:50]:

So as you’re helping others build confidence, is it a different approach, or is there some differences working with introverts or extroverts?

Anna Gradie [00:10:01]:

I find I work primarily with introverts and I understand the truck the struggles that they face, but my approach is essentially the same for introverts and extroverts.

David Hall [00:10:13]:

Ed, you definitely focus on coaching women. Do you think that women struggle more with confidence than men?

Anna Gradie [00:10:20]:

a 100%. The research backs it up, and I would say that there are 3 main reasons why. Number 1, socialization in schools. girls are rewarded for being good in school. Girls are taught to follow the rules, get good grades, and listen to their teachers. As a result, many girls avoid taking risks and making mistakes, both of which are key to confidence building. As a child, I only tried something new if I had some degree of confidence that I would be successful. So I lived in my comfort zone, which really hurt my confidence. Number 2, overthinking. Women typically put greater weight on emotional connections and bond ourselves ruminating. about what we did wrong during the day. We dwell on problems rather than solutions, which hurts our ability to take action. The very structure of the female brain is more prone to rumination about mistakes. Number 3, pursuit of perfection. Studies show that unlike their male counterparts, female professionals, only apply to jobs if they meet 100 percent of their requirements. Women experience so much pressure to be perfect in every area of our lives. This inhibits our achievement and hurts our confidence. In a nutshell, boys are socialized to be brave and girls are socialized to be perfect.

David Hall [00:11:53]:

So how do you help someone overcome that perfectionism?

Anna Gradie [00:11:58]:

Well, I kind of reframe that as well. So there are some strengths in perfectionism. It is that attention to detail. It is wanting to do a good job. And It doesn’t have to be a negative. So to overcome perfectionism, it’s about taking those risks. and treating yourself kindly when you do mess up. That helps you kind of bounce back and keep going and take those challenges and get outside your comfort zone.

David Hall [00:12:29]:

Yeah. There definitely can be a strength in perfectionism, wanting to do your best, wanting to do your best work, but it’s it’s when it stops you, when it paralyzes you, I guess, is the problem. How do you help someone that is overthinking or ruminating?

Anna Gradie [00:12:46]:

it’s helping them with self awareness and helping change the inner critic voice. to kind of break up that negative thought and kind of spend more time focusing on, like, physical sensations in the present moment, like meditation. mindfulness practices. And and one strategy that always works for me, one practical tip is when you’re thinking about something and you kind of line in your bed and trying to get some rest, actually write it down, do a brain dump, have a journal beside your bed, write down what you’re worried about, write down that to do list item that’s bugging you, to kinda get it out of your head so that you can have that time to rest.

David Hall [00:13:26]:

Yeah. Absolutely. And I do think that’s more of an introvert problem because we are in our heads, and we have a lot of great ideas. And I know for me, sometimes they don’t stop. Yep. but it could be a really good idea. You know, it’s just not the time to work on it right then. So it is good like you’re saying to capture it. That idea might be a great one. Just it’s not what you should be thinking about right then. So that’s that’s good advice there.

Anna Gradie [00:13:54]:

Thank you, David.

David Hall [00:13:56]:

Let’s talk more about self awareness. How do you help someone, especially the introvert, gain self awareness of their strengths and and also their needs?

Anna Gradie [00:14:06]:

Yeah. So the number one approach that I would recommend is journaling the power of putting pen to paper, reflecting on strengths and weaknesses, wins that you have that week. Also, spending time on your own, having deep relationships and friendships where you talk about the issues that are bothering you. And coaching really helps with self awareness. I’ve always loved this quote. I don’t know how I feel about something until I write about it.

David Hall [00:14:35]:

Yeah. I haven’t been much of a journaler. but as far as really coming to embrace my introversion, I started blogging about 10 years ago, and that has just been so powerful, you know, to actually put it down and think about it and reflect, and we’re really good at reflection, aren’t we? Definitely. And also, you know, you’re talking about talking with others. That’s a big myth that we don’t like people. That’s definitely one that we bust regularly on this show. But it might be, you know, so you mentioned, you know, of course, we need to spend some time alone. And a lot of times people say it so we can recharge. Right? Which is true, but there’s so much more to it than that. You know, we need time to think, you know, to get some work done to focus There’s a lot of reasons why we need time alone, but we also need to collaborate with people and, you know, we often thrive more in your case, you know, one on one coaching or in small groups. We can thrive anywhere if we understand our strengths and needs, but we have a preference for that one on one interaction, I think.

Anna Gradie [00:15:42]:

Yeah. It’s so special. I love that time.

David Hall [00:15:46]:

So how do you find your quiet time? You know, No. You’re pretty busy. You have kids and everything. So how do you find that quiet time?

Anna Gradie [00:15:54]:

I wake up at 5 AM.

David Hall [00:15:56]:

Okay.

Anna Gradie [00:15:59]:

Go to bed pretty early. Wake up at 5 AM. I work out and then I have my me time. I have my coffee I said, I might watch. I do some meditation listening to the sounds of the birds. I have that me time, and then I tackle my hardest items on my to do list. I just I’m aware of my peak energy periods, and I’m a morning person. So I maximize that time.

David Hall [00:16:23]:

Yeah. I don’t think I always was, but that’s definitely where I get my quiet too. First thing, everybody else is still sleeping. So — Yeah. That’s great. How do you set appropriate boundaries to get that quiet time that you need or to get that work done that you need?

Anna Gradie [00:16:41]:

Yeah. By encouraging early bed times for the kids. Okay. Being consistent. And just knowing by filling my own cup first, by going to bed early, and having my workout in the morning, I show up best for my clients, for my children, for my loved ones, and not being afraid to, like, leave an event early or limit my number of social activities per week. Just knowing my band bandwidth for that kind of sim stimulation.

David Hall [00:17:16]:

Yeah. So talk about that. Why do you think you need to give yourself an out or leave early for some things? Why should introverts think about that?

Anna Gradie [00:17:25]:

Because being around people and having a lot of social stimulation depletes our energy more than extroverts, extroverts actually get energy from being around others. So based on that, I need to find that balance. And I find, like, I love being social. I do a lot of networking for my business. but I find that often I can’t sleep after because I’m processing all the interactions that I’ve experienced. So just knowing that self awareness, just knowing myself, I set that boundary to leave early and to not do too many events in 1 week.

David Hall [00:18:01]:

Yeah. I’ve been looking forward to talking with you. But before any podcast, I make sure I have a hour ahead of time that hours blocked off, and the hour after is blocked off too so that if I need some space, I I have it. You know, I definitely don’t record back to back podcast. That would not work for me. Yeah. Do you have any other time management strategies or productivity strategies for introverts?

Anna Gradie [00:18:28]:

Being aware of your peak energy periods is so important. Some of us are night owls. Some of us are early birds. and really structuring your day so you do your hardest tasks at your peak energy. And at your lowest energy, maybe focus on administrative work or something that’s quite easy, but save that really creative really challenging work for when you have the most energy and kind of paying attention to your your own natural rhythms and getting that rest. So important.

David Hall [00:19:00]:

Yeah. Definitely. You you have to know what’s draining for you because as we get to know each other, we may have some things in common as introverts, but there may be some things that might be draining for me, but energizing for you and and vice versa. There’s not one approach. We definitely can learn a lot from each other’s introverts, but it’s it’s just important to know. And the other thing is sometimes we can be drained by things that we enjoy, and I think that a misconception sometimes too. We might really enjoy going to this, you know, particular event, but just after we’d might need some time.

Anna Gradie [00:19:36]:

Yeah. Like, I’ve been called the life of the party. Like, I love being around people. I love going out and socializing, but it does take its toll when I do it too often.

David Hall [00:19:46]:

Yeah. I love that you said that because so often people think, well, introverts aren’t gonna be the life of the party. Well, maybe, you know, it just we might need a break after. you know, and it it might depend on the people. It might depend on the event. It could be situational, but definitely introverts could be the life of the party. They might need to take a break after.

Anna Gradie [00:20:06]:

Yeah. A 100%. And, yeah, I think you said people get energized by different types of work. different types of work depletes you and that there is that spectrum of introversion and extroversion. And at birth, according to Susan Kane, we kind of fit somewhere along that spectrum, and we could be right in the middle as an ambivert or we could be more introverted or more extroverted, but there is that kind of spectrum that differentiates us from other people.

David Hall [00:20:31]:

Yeah. That was part of my journey. It’s just having that epiphany that it’s natural. As you said earlier, I was also trying to overcome it You know? Yeah. The something I wasn’t and just different experiences that I had. you know, I have 3 kids. basically, we raised them the same. They’re not the same. They they’re each amazing in their own way. They have great gifts, but they come differently, you know, or, or working with or working with the extroverted colleague and and seeing what they need and it’s different. You know, they might, prepare for a public speech differently than I do. I really have to prepare I can give a great speech. I can give a great presentation, but I have to do my work ahead of time. And I might be jealous of my friend that can just do less preparation and get up there and wing it and everybody loves her, but that’s not gonna work for me.

Anna Gradie [00:21:34]:

I hear you. I had a big speaking opportunity in the Silicon Valley earlier this month, and I practiced all summer. I went to different toastmasters clubs around my city and is my speech and is really fine tuned. And it was worth it. It really was at preparation time, but, yeah, sometimes I do feel a little bit jealous of our subverted polling thing that’s wing it.

David Hall [00:21:58]:

Yeah. So that’s another myth. Introverts can be amazing public speakers. Yeah. So as as you’re giving speeches and preparing speeches, do you have any other advice for introverts?

Anna Gradie [00:22:10]:

Yeah. Well, I think a lot of introverts are scared of public speaking. A lot of people in general, I think the number is about 70% of people. So I would recommend that you join an organization like toastmasters or take improv classes to work on your public speaking and take those opportunities to practice. Practice virtual speaking, practice speaking in person, And just having that understanding that public speaking is a learnable skill. Anyone can learn it. You just need that practice and to just say yes to those speaking opportunities and get outside your comfort zone.

David Hall [00:22:46]:

Yeah. Let’s talk about improv because that that’s come up a few different times on this show. And, you know, with improv, you’re thinking off the top of your head, and that’s what many introverts struggle with. So why improv? And how can introverts do improv if if they’d like to prepare for things?

Anna Gradie [00:23:08]:

Yeah. The speaking on the fly, the having the quick answers, that has been a struggle for me forever. So improv teaches you to do that by practicing and by giving exposure to it. I haven’t done it yet. It’s on my list. I’m a little bit scared, but I know it is the next thing for me to grow my public speaking skills. So I think it’s it’s all about exposure and practice. And being in that safe place as well where everyone’s learning together.

David Hall [00:23:39]:

Yeah. It’s on my list too because it’s come up more than I would have thought on the show with different guests where that been really empowering for them. I don’t know. It’s it’s that’s the thing that we can struggle with is when we wanna think about something first. And in improv, you you don’t have that, but that’s definitely something you can prepare for.

Anna Gradie [00:23:59]:

Definitely.

David Hall [00:24:01]:

So along those lines and confidence, I think that’s been a confidence booster for me It’s knowing that in general, not always, but in general, I am gonna think first and then speak. I’m gonna put my thoughts together. And I think part of my not understanding my introversion was was that because, like, maybe I’m putting all my thoughts together and the extroverts around me are talking nonstop. And that definitely people might say, oh, why are you so quiet? Why are you, you know, don’t be shy. And that can make you shy and make you lose confidence. And so I think it was just really learning about my introversion. Hey. You know what? I do need to prepare for things like we’re talking about, or I might need some time alone. It’s not weird. You know? did you have that experience as well, or do you see that with the with the clients that you’re coaching?

Anna Gradie [00:24:52]:

Yeah. So and the child that was painfully shy and didn’t want to draw attention to myself in any way. I had a different relative, like, comment on my shyness, and I was always very embarrassed about it. And yeah, I always wanted to have my thoughts fully formed before contributing in a meeting, in a work setting, in a social setting, And as a result, I just didn’t speak a lot of the time. So in this journey of discovering who I am and learn to take more risks to build my confidence, I do speak up more, and it doesn’t have to be perfect. And I think that really helps us practice too. When you practice speaking up and having a voice and you see it going well, you are encouraged to keep keep going and keep trying and keep speaking up. And if it doesn’t go well to just treat yourself with kindness, and just celebrate that you’re trying.

David Hall [00:25:44]:

Yeah. Absolutely. So the commonplace you need to speak up is in different work situations, work meetings, I find that part of it is that you like, we’re talking about for speech that you prepare. You know, you look at the agenda ahead of time, that kind of thing. But at the same time, realizing, hey. You know what? It may not be perfect. Do your best to be perfect, but realize it may not be perfect. Do you have any other thoughts on that like what you might coach someone that’s struggling with speaking up in a meeting?

Anna Gradie [00:26:18]:

Yeah. It’s all about emotional intelligence and find the appropriate balance between and assertiveness. And when we have high empathy, a lot of introverts do, it’s it can be hard to be assertive and to speak up. But it’s it’s all about practice and putting yourself out there and kinda taking those risks. And like I said before, if you if it isn’t perfect to treat yourself with compassion and kindness to kind of encourage yourself to keep going.

David Hall [00:26:48]:

What would you say is the biggest challenge that people are coming to you with as far as confidence?

Anna Gradie [00:26:55]:

Setting boundaries is really big. Prioritizing themselves. is big. Public speaking comes up a lot and learning to advocate for yourself at work and at home. to ask for what you need in your career, maybe asking for help, for mentorship, and at home, maybe asking for more help or kind of that space to focus on your own needs and look after your body and your mind.

David Hall [00:27:28]:

and a lot of people are struggling with even at home asking for what they need and articulating their needs.

Anna Gradie [00:27:33]:

Yeah. A lot of my clients are people pleasers. And when people please, there’s our strength is empathy, which is a superpower. But taken too far, you neglect yourself and struggle to stand up for yourself at work and at home, which can really hurt your confidence.

David Hall [00:27:48]:

And, I mean, it can be a struggle at home for introverts because You know, we love those in our home. Right? But it’s it can be a challenge to say, hey. I really need this space for whatever reason. And It could be taken like, oh, you don’t love me. You know? It’s like, no. I absolutely love you, but I need a little space to be my best for you and for myself. Is that is that something that is a challenge for the clients that you’re working with?

Anna Gradie [00:28:15]:

It really is. And a lot of my clients are mothers, so they are balancing work in demanding workplaces with motherhood, with their relationships. And, yeah, it can be really hard to put yourself first and often my clients put themselves lost. And that leads to burnouts or health issues And, yeah, it takes that that kind of courage and that confidence to to be firm about what you need.

David Hall [00:28:42]:

And if you’re not, like you’re saying, it definitely can lead to burnout and also just not not being your best.

Anna Gradie [00:28:50]:

Yeah.

David Hall [00:28:52]:

So are are many people coming to you that that are burned out?

Anna Gradie [00:28:57]:

Yeah. Yeah. And that the concept of you need to put your own oxygen mask on first so you can show up the best for your loved ones.

David Hall [00:29:06]:

Yeah. I was thinking that when you were talking about a that that came to my mind that, yeah, that our own oxygen mask is is important because If you’re not taking care of yourself, you can’t take care of others either.

Anna Gradie [00:29:16]:

A 100%. Well,

David Hall [00:29:18]:

anything else that you wanna talk about as far as introverts building confidence?

Anna Gradie [00:29:25]:

I think it comes down to how we talk to ourselves. And if we have very negative self talk around our introversion. If we live with trying to overcome it, it can really get in our own way. and it can hurt us from moving forward and living the life and having the career and the family that we’re we really want. So it’s kind of retraining your brain to focus on the positive and to celebrate who you are and to see introversion as a gift. Not a weakness.

David Hall [00:29:54]:

Yeah. Well said on that. Definitely. We talked about a lot of great things today, Anna. Is there anything else that you wanna talk about?

Anna Gradie [00:30:02]:

I don’t think so. I think that covers it. This has been really enjoyable, David.

David Hall [00:30:07]:

Yeah. And as you just barely said, introversion is a gift So it’s all about understanding it. And when you understand it, that can definitely be part of building your confidence. I know it was for me, is I know that in the past, I was shy. I was anxious. But just understanding, hey. I’m a deep thinker, and that’s a good thing. that definitely went a long way in building my confidence. I’m not shy anymore. A lot of anxiety is gone because I understand who I am. So thank you so much today. Where can people find you, find out about any offers that you have?

Anna Gradie [00:30:41]:

Oh, thanks, David. by visiting my website and a grady.com. You can also subscribe to my newsletter to get my free 5 step confidence booster guide. And if you want to test what it’s like to work with an introverted confidence coach, I offer free confidence booster sessions where we chat about your goals, anything getting in the way and then assess you on 7 areas scientifically linked to confidence.

David Hall [00:31:09]:

Sounds great. I will add that all to the show notes. Thanks again for being on today, Anna. This has been a great conversation.

Anna Gradie [00:31:15]:

Thank you so much, David. Take care.

David Hall [00:31:18]:

Thank you so much for joining me. I look forward to further connecting with you. Reach out at david@quietandstrong.com. Or check out the quiet and strong dot com website, which includes blog posts, links to social media, and other items. Send me topics or guests you would like to see on the show. If you’re interested in getting to know yourself better, there’s now a free type finder personality assessment on the Quiet and Strong website. This free assessment will give you a brief report, including the 4 letter Myers Briggs code. I’ll add a link to the show notes. There’s so many great things about being an introvert, so we need those to be understood. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs and be strong.

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