Last Christmas, my daughter made a coupon book for her mom. It was the sweetest thing! There were coupons for things like emptying the dishwasher, bringing a snack, bringing a drink of water, and cleaning up. And there was a “leave me alone” coupon.
If you know my introverted wife and my extroverted daughter, this was very thoughtful. My wife works from home and, as an introvert, needs some quiet or alone time from time to time. My daughter needs people (which is usually MOM) on a pretty steady basis, but recognizes her mom’s need for quiet now and then.
We have talked about introverts and extroverts with her a little at home. We are careful not to make it about a label, but rather we discuss what we need individually and where our individual gifts and strengths are. She also overhears me discussing my blog articles with my wife and pays more attention than we may realize. The point is, I think it is wonderful that she knows that from time to time her mom needs quiet. She knows that her mom loves her dearly, but she is already understanding her mom’s uniqueness.
Does your family know what you need? Do they know you love them? Have conversations with your loved ones. When everyone’s needs are understood and recognized, you can ask for what you need with patience and kindness.
We all need this understanding from others and for others. In a family dynamic, we each have to support the needs of each other — including giving up some solitude to spend time with your little extroverts, or giving the introverts in your family a little space — while also making sure we have what we need to be our best for them.
David Hall, M.Ed. is a speaker, author, and host of the Quiet and Strong Podcast, where he interviews thought leaders, creatives, and professionals who help introverts thrive. With over 25 years in higher education, David has led workshops, trainings, and presentations on productivity, personality, and introversion. His mission is to help introverts honor their needs, understand their strengths, and succeed on their own terms. He is the author of Minding Your Time: Time Management, Productivity, and Success, Especially for Introverts and a passionate advocate for creating work environments where introverts can do their best work.
