Listen Now


Are you an introvert who feels like you’re held back in your career or business because of your fear of public speaking?

Do you wish you could step up and confidently share your ideas, but don’t know how?

Then this episode is for you. 

Join us as public speaking coach Victoria Lioznyasky shares some of her secrets to becoming confident, compelling, and captivating in front of an audience as an introvert. Learn simple steps to overcome your fear of public speaking,  what to say when you don’t know what to say, and how to prepare and deliver memorable speeches to any audience with confidence.

Listen to this episode to improve your public speaking and start making a bigger impact in your life and work right now.



Victoria Lioznyansky teaches introverted entrepreneurs and business professionals how to overcome their fear of public speaking and become confident and captivating speakers. Victoria went from scared to sought-after speaker and founded Brilliant Speakers Academy®, an online public speaking coaching program.

Guest: Victoria Lioznyansky
 
Contact Victoria:

Website:
 https://byvictorial.com/

Free Training: 
https://www.byvictorial.com/training

Brilliant Speakers Accelerator Program: 
https://byvictorial.com/accelerator

Facebook:
 https://www.facebook.com/byvictorial

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/byvictorial/


Contact the host of the Quiet and Strong Podcast:

David Hall
Author, Speaker, Educator, Podcaster
quietandstrong.com
Gobio.link/quietandstrong
david@quietandstrong.com

Take the FREE Personality Assessment:
Typefinder Personality Assessment

Get my book: 

Minding Your Time: Time Management, Productivity, and Success, Especially for Introverts


Follow David on your favorite social platform:
Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn

You may also like:
Quiet & Strong Merchandise


Podcast Transcript

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:00:00]:
The way you captivate your audience let’s talk about this word, captivate. What does it mean, captivate? Captivate means that not only they’re listening to you and they can’t take their eyes off you or they can’t stop listening. They’re just so in the moment. They are completely wrapped up in that conversation. Not only that, but also when they leave, they keep on thinking about it. That’s captivating. Right? How do you do that?

David Hall [00:00:37]:
Hello, and welcome to the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I’m your host, David Hall, the creator of quiet and strong.com. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally, we’ll air each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform. Leave a review. Tell a friend.

David Hall [00:01:01]:
Help get the word out there. Victoria Lioznianski teaches introverted entrepreneurs and business professionals how to overcome their fear of public speaking And become confident in captivating speakers. Victoria went from scared to sought after speaker and founded the Brilliant Speakers Academy, An online public speaking coaching program. Okay. Well, welcome to the Quiet and Strong podcast, Victoria.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:01:30]:
Hello, David. Thank you for having me.

David Hall [00:01:32]:
Yeah. We are gonna talk specifically about public speaking for introverts. And, public speaking can be a challenge for introverts and extroverts, but I think that there’s Specific ways you can get better and enjoy it if you learn from a fellow introvert. And so that’s what we’re gonna get into today. And, like I was saying, I you have a podcast out there that I just listened to so many episodes because it was just such great content, and I’m excited for To share some of that today. But before we get into that, tell us a little bit about yourself and your journey to, You know, understanding that you were introvert, embracing that, and now teaching public speaking to other introverts.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:02:20]:
Well, my name is Victoria Lesnansky. I’m originally from the Soviet Union. I actually came here almost 30 years ago, but Because I came as practically an adult. I still have a very strong accent, which is funny for people because when they see me for the 1st time, they talk to me. They’re like, oh, welcome to the United state, and it’s like, yay. It’s been kind of 30 years most of my life. Yeah. But I obviously grew Grow up as an introvert.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:02:46]:
That doesn’t change. You are once you are really heavy introvert, you stay a head introvert. But I didn’t know that there is such a concept as being an introvert until I was pretty much an adult. I had no idea how to explain my personality, and so I just thought I was weird because we live in a world of extroverts, of people trying to pretend they’re extroverts. And so When I knew I was different, it just meant that I didn’t necessarily wanna be out and Playing with friends all the time, I was more than happy to just stay at home and read a book and be by myself, and I really loved being by myself. And people kind of drained me. I had no word for it until much later when I found out that’s what being an introvert is all about. And growing up, becoming a public speaking coach was the least that was on my mind.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:03:48]:
Like, this was never ever a profession that I thought of simply because I was growing up terrified of public speaking. I was hoping I would never ever have to speak in public because it was just shaking me to the core. I had an episode when I was 10 when I ran off stage in tears, and I told myself I’ll never speak in front of an audience again. And when I came to the United States, I got my master’s degree. I started I was working in a corporate, and I started the company on the side. I had no choice. I had to speak publicly. That was way back then when, you know, YouTube even was not a thing.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:04:26]:
I’m really dating myself here, but YouTube wasn’t the thing. And you couldn’t, you know, hide behind the computer or something else. You actually had to be in front of people in public trying to build your audience trying to get clients, and I started learning how to overcome my crippling fear of speaking. How can I speak without shaking and getting all red and losing my mind and losing my words? And it was really trial and error. A lot of it wasn’t I’ve got a book and I read it and, hey, that worked. No. It was there was so much bad advice floating out there. I’ve tried it all, and I I I it’s just trial and error, really.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:05:08]:
And then I I did it. I I was no longer scared. I was speaking without much fear, and People would come up to me after my presentations at work or when I would present in my business. They would come up to me and say, oh, you are such a natural. I would love to know that you’re getting me. I’m, like, scared of public speaking. They’re like, no. You have to teach me how they do it.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:05:31]:
And I realized few years back that this is actually something that people need and want to learn, and this is a skill. While a lot of people feel like, oh, It’s such a talent. Oh, you’re a natural. No. It’s a skill. It’s not something we’re all born with, but it’s a skill that everybody can learn, and so I started teaching it.

David Hall [00:05:51]:
Awesome. Yeah. And I love that you said that, that it can be learned because I was the same. I, you got a shaky voice, a dry throat, all that stuff. But at the same time, you know, sometimes people might say introverts don’t have a lot to say, but I think we have a lot to say because we’re always thinking. Right?

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:06:10]:
We’re always thinking.

David Hall [00:06:11]:
Yeah. And we have a lot to share, but sometimes that’s difficult because To, you know, get that message out of our head and share, but there’s some things that we can do. And, you know, it may be a big Conference talk, but a lot of times, it’s gonna be more like you’re saying, you know, when you’re in business, you have to present all the time, You know, in various ways. Like, I’m giving a presentation tomorrow, and I’m very excited about it. Not nervous at all, but I know I need to prepare. And I’ve been preparing, And I you know, I need to be ready for that. Just back on the introversion for a second, was there a particular thing that really helped you see, oh, this is who I am? Is there something that you read? Or or

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:06:51]:
I I just read something about introverts versus extroverts, and And I was like, wait. This is describing me. Oh, maybe I am an introvert. It was literally reading something. And While when I realized I am an introvert, I it was such a it was a sense of relief. It’s not like I’m weird. It’s not like I’m, you know, antisocial, and I don’t like people. No.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:07:17]:
It’s it’s more, oh, this is how my brain works. This is how this is where I get drained. This is where I get recharged. You know, the ultimate punishment to me right now is I live in the same house as an extrovert. My oldest son is a complete and total extrovert. And I can absolutely see the difference side by side. It’s so funny seeing extroverts. You know, it’s funny how you mentioned, people think introverts have nothing to say.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:07:46]:
No. We do because we we think. Yeah. We think, think, think, and we say, extroverts, no filter. No filter.

David Hall [00:07:53]:
Sure.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:07:53]:
It’s like anything that goes into his mind immediately comes out. It’s like, you wanna think maybe for, like, a second? No. It’s like, he loves to talk. He loves to talk. He’s like the whole time. It’s a completely different mindset. And both can be beautiful, excellent public speakers or public speaker and not in the sense of, like, that’s your career, but public speakers in the sense of, you know, you work, you you have a business, and you speak anytime, anywhere, and you are Wonderful. Both extroverts and introverts can be those types of people.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:08:26]:
They can speak with passion and brilliance and understanding of their audience is just a different mechanism of how they learn. And again, with us, with introverts, We are thinkers. We like to be prepared, and we need to use what we know are our strength to our advantage is just knowing what your strengths are.

David Hall [00:08:53]:
Absolutely. And, you know, that was as I was figuring out I was an introvert, that was one of the Things that really, thinking about my kids, like I’m married to an introvert. I have 2 extroverts and 1 introvert And just, yeah, this comes very naturally to us. You know, there was nothing that we did to, raise our kids differently, but they definitely come with their own amazing Gifts and strengths. And, that was something that just really helped me understand. Yeah. This is very natural. There’s a lot of strengths as you’re saying that come from it, but you gotta understand that.

David Hall [00:09:26]:
Like, I could look at my extroverted colleague who’s giving a presentation and think, wow. You know? She, She’s brilliant at this. She didn’t even have to prepare. She’s just getting out there and speaking, and everybody loves her. Or I can think, what do I need to do? And that’s that’s where that’s where I landed is, I could give a great speech. I can enjoy it. I can get my message across, but I gotta I gotta do the work that I need to do is is where I landed.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:09:53]:
Mhmm. Absolutely. Yep.

David Hall [00:09:56]:
You, you busted a couple missed there, you know, and this show is definitely about talking about the strengths and also needs of introverts, but we bust miss here. Is there any other introvert miss you wanna bust today?

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:10:10]:
I think the biggest myth is that and there are so many of them, but, like, to me, the biggest is people always tell me, oh, you cannot be an introvert. You’re not shy. One has nothing to do with the other. There are granted, there are a lot of shy introverts, but shyness is not something that really has anything to do with being an introvert because being an introvert, and I’m sure you talk about this all the time, It’s not about I’m afraid of people. Oh, I I wanna hide under my table. Being an introvert is really how you get drained and how you get recharged. You get drained by being surrounded by people. You get recharged by being alone.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:10:53]:
And so that myth of you you’re shy if you’re an introvert, it’s really nothing but a myth. I I can go out there and talk to people and meet people and be the most social person ever, and people would never even realize I am an introvert. But when that happens, I feel drained. Yes. I am very, you know, social and happy and talkative, but I walk out. I close the door. I need to, like, literally sit down and be alone and and not be surrounded by people because those huge groups of peoples, they drain us.

David Hall [00:11:35]:
Yeah.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:11:35]:
So so you have to know that To build your behavior around this. As an example, if you know that you’re giving a presentation at work, Take a few moments before to be in your cubicle, in your office, to be, I don’t know, in the restroom. If there is no other place to be alone, Find a place to be alone so you can focus, so you can think about what you’re gonna say, so you can mentally prepare, so you’re not drained. If you are jumping between meetings without any interruption, that’s gonna hurt you because You are drained. You are tired from just speaking to so many people, and now you got to go and speak to more people. So try to find just even if it’s a 2 minute interval where you’re completely alone and you can just focus on yourself. Here’s an interesting example. Elvis Presley, who is, in my opinion, one of the greatest singers of all time, he obviously looked like an extrovert, right, to anybody.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:12:40]:
I mean, who would think that Elvis Presley is an introvert when he is out there on stage going like, hey. Right? He was an introvert, and he knew very well what he needed to do as an introvert. Before any concert, he would walk from his, a little area or if I don’t know whatever. Wherever he stayed, he would walk those few 100 feet towards the stage alone. I’m I’m sure he had bodyguards walking by, but he was alone. He wasn’t talking to anybody. He was focusing on himself, building up that mental energy, focusing on his performance, not chatting up with people before he went on stage because he knew I’m sure. I’m not speaking for him.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:13:21]:
I don’t know what he was thinking, but I’m sure he knew that that’s how he was best his best self when he stepped on that stage and gave everything to people. He had to he needed to have something to give. He needed to have enough energy, and that walk all by himself gave him that energy, built up that battery, internal batteries that we all have, all introverts have it.

David Hall [00:13:50]:
Yeah. And that’s the key. What do you need? You know? And it may not look the same as your colleague or, You know, maybe your colleagues, even an introvert, a colleague, and it may not be the same. I know, Victoria, I’ve been really looking forward to our chat this morning. And, but guess what? I needed to be sure, you know, I start preparing for these hour ahead of time, and I’m definitely by myself. And, you know, It it’s important to me to not be rushed, and and that’s something I’ve learned. I mean, every life is not always perfect. Sometimes you have to Maybe not have the ideal, but my ideal is, you know, definitely getting everything ready about a hour ahead of time, you know, sitting here in this chair and just Thinking about, you know, what I wanna ask you and all that good stuff, but it’s it’s it’s part of what I do before the show, and it’s it’s important to me as an introvert.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:14:41]:
Right? And and I think that’s a very common theme for introverts. So I would say most people need that. Most introverts need to feel prepared when we and and a lot of times, we never feel prepared. And I think that’s also something that introverts share that we always feel a little bit, like, underachievable in the sense of preparedness. We never feel that we have enough time. We never feel we’re prepared. It’s it’s it’s not even a lack of confidence. It’s more of our I kind of feel it’s our internal need to really be prepared and to feel that we’re on top of things.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:15:17]:
And if you feel this way, then again, use it to your advantage. Use it to calm your nerves. Use it to Feel more confident. Don’t put yourself in a situation where if you’re already afraid of public speaking, you you go in a complete state terror, because on top of everything else, you know you’re not ready. Give yourself that gift of at least you know you did everything that you could. Be prepared.

David Hall [00:15:47]:
Yeah. Absolutely. And, as you’re talking about shyness, definitely, you know, I loved your examples too because all introverts are not shy. It can be a thing, but also I think that it you know, it’s something that can be overcome if you, Again, get to know yourself and you’re not doing the things that you wanna do and you need some confidence. I think that getting to know yourself as an introvert can help you gain that confidence. And I know you work with people on being confident. So how do you do that? How do you help people gain confidence?

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:16:22]:
You know, confidence is such a funny thing. We, especially those of us who consider ourselves high level professionals. Maybe we work in the corporate world, manager, maybe a CFO, maybe you own in a business, be an entrepreneur. We are high level professionals. We know what we’re doing, and a lot of us still feel not confident. We feel very confident about our level of skill. We feel very confident about who we are. We feel very confident about what we bring to the world in terms of our knowledge and our genius, but when it comes to public speaking, all the confidence disappears.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:17:09]:
And I think a lot of you hear me right now and nod because It’s true. It feels like that con that internal confidence that we have in general in life, it’s completely disconnected but from the confidence that needed for public speaking. And so one of the things that I do, and I do a lot of a lot of things in my coaching, but one of the things that I do is to connect that confidence that you already have because you do. You can’t you can’t be a professional without having some level of confidence about what you do. You you know that you’re good at what you do. You know that you’re good at your specific field of work. So some of some of the things I do is I connect the confidence that we actually carry inside ourselves to the confidence needed for speaking in public. So that’s one thing.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:18:03]:
And the other thing is learning to turn on to turn on this confidence switch on demand. I feel confident about who I am and what I do, but it’s not like I walk around all day. You know? I’m confident. I am like this. I’m in grocery store, and I’m confident. Right? No. We’re like normal people. We live our normal life.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:18:26]:
Right? So we we don’t necessarily always feel this, you know, burst of confidence nonstop, even though it is inside of us. But when I jump on a podcast, when I walk into a meeting, when I step on stage to do a presentation, this is when I need to feel the most confident that I ever feel. So learning to turn on that confidence switch is another skill that I teach because, again, It is a skill. It is a skill learning to open that door and immediately feel your best self, your most confident self, your smartest, your kindest, your most genuine, your most, authoritative and confident self. So that is very important. It it’s not important to be confident 247, but it is important to for that confidence and be able to be your best self, not to be like somebody else, but to be your best, the most confident self on demand.

David Hall [00:19:37]:
Yeah. And I think that’s the key is understanding your best self and knowing you have some great things to offer. And they may not be like somebody else’s, but they’re yours, and and you, you know, need to to share those.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:19:50]:
Absolutely. Like, one of the things we talk about in my program is when uncover uncover your stories. Basically, all of us and that even not just introvert versus extrovert, all of us have some stories that we are stuck with, that are in our brain from people saying unkind things at some point of time or just people trying to be kind to us and teaching us things that we shouldn’t be thinking. We have this baggage of stories of limiting beliefs as they are known that we carry with us and learning to uncover them, learning to understand what they are, and turns them off or turns them around so that they’re actually true versus limiting beliefs that are holding us back that are not true, but we keep on thinking that, that is also a part of learning to become confident. And all of us have our own stories in our head. And, you know, my stories are completely different than yours, but we can turn them to our benefit, or we can turn them off so that they’re not holding us back from being the most confident self. There are so many things that There’s so much garbage in our brain. It’s scary.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:21:14]:
So much garbage. And and a lot of times, that garbage takes over our brain. And there is this little voice in the back of your head, right, that tells you, oh, you’re not good enough. Who are you? Who are you to think that you can step on that stage and speak in front of 2,000 people, you’re not worth it. Right? And that voice is so overpowering that we’ll listen to it. Whereas what we need to learn is silence that voice and make the other voice loud as the voice that the voice of our true self, the voice that can tell us, no. What you think is not true, and here is why. Logically, here is why.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:21:57]:
And each of us has our own challenges, but we all have our own victories and and Beautiful things that we’ve done, things that we forget. Right? Because bad things are easier to remember. If I tell you if I let’s say, David, if I tell you right now that you are incredibly kind and smart and wonderful, and I love talking to you. It’s gonna feel really nice. Right? But that feeling is gonna be gone by the end of the day. And tomorrow, if you don’t feel confident, if you don’t think about it, you’ll be like, I don’t even remember this anymore. Like, I don’t remember. You will forget me saying it.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:22:39]:
But if I say, you don’t know anything you’re talking about. You’re just so useless. Right? If anybody ever says that to you, By the end of the day, you still remember. Next day, you still remember. A month from that day, you still remember bad things that just so easy to remember. And The reason I’m saying it is because we all carry that garbage that we remember, but we forget all the great things we’ve done. And a lot of times, What you need to do is work through uncovering all the beautiful and rich and wonderful things that are a part of who you are and logically discouraging that voice from telling you you’re not good enough.

David Hall [00:23:26]:
Yeah. It’s amazing. And, You know, you were just giving examples, but I felt the difference from what you were saying, you know, even though, you know, you’re just making things up, but it it I could feel it. You know? And, so I think part of this is really, like you’re saying, understanding your strengths. Just as an introvert, what, what are some strengths that you have and maybe what’s some others that you’ve seen in people that you’ve coached, you know, other introverts, some, some, some great strengths?

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:23:54]:
I think and and actually touched on it. I think our biggest strength is that we actually think through things. We are We’re overthinking. That’s a weakness, but but the strength is that we think, which means we approach everything we do in a thoughtful way. So use that strength. If you know you have a presentation tomorrow, Don’t try to win it. Don’t try to just spend the whole time before the presentation being scared and just terrified and keep on thinking, oh, I’m too scared. What am I gonna do? No.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:24:27]:
No. That’s. You don’t need to do that. What you need to do is actually use your strengths as an introvert, the strength of thinking things through, and prepare meticulously. Now when I say prepare, I don’t mean, you know, let’s say write down everything you’re gonna say or whatever you how your process is. And I do have a process that I teach, but we’ll have different process. But let’s say you write down everything that you teach. Are you prepared? No.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:24:54]:
Because as an introvert, as a thinker, you can take it a step further. What you wanna do to prepare is think through all the bad scenarios that can happen. Now we’re not gonna do it so that you can scare yourself. We’re gonna do it so that you immediately find a solution for anything that can happen. So let me give you an example. Let’s say I need to go and in in a it may not be a really caught it compliant example, but let’s say I am going out there to do a presentation. A lot of times right now we’re on Zoom, but let’s say I’m going out there in person, and I’m going to a company where I’ve never been before. I’m doing a sales presentation.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:25:37]:
I’m bringing my laptop, and I’m thinking I’m just gonna hook it up. So as an introvert, you can think this through a lot more. You can sit down and say, okay. Let me think. What are the bad things that can happen to me? Oh, What if I cannot hook up my computer and my presentation is on my computer? Dang. Oh, do I is this a moment to fall apart? No. This is a moment to start thinking. Okay.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:26:09]:
What is my plan? What if this happens? Let me think this through. Okay. Maybe I’ll also bring a flash drive with my presentation on it. Okay. Great. Wait. Let me think this through some more. What if my flash drive doesn’t work? What if they don’t allow me to use a flash drive for whatever reason? Now what? Take it a step further.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:26:32]:
Things are through. This is not to scare you. I’m reminding you. This is not to scare you. This is to be thoroughly prepared. Maybe what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna email my presentation to somebody on the inside so that as a worst case scenario, they have it, and they can pull it from their server. And this is how you think through every problem That can happen. A lot of times, coaches tell you, oh, you don’t need to think about bad stuff because that’s gonna scare you.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:27:00]:
Uh-uh. No. You wanna think about the bad stuff because only by thinking about the bad stuff, you can be proactively prepared to tackle that bad stuff without it being a surprise. What we introverts don’t like are surprises. We we don’t like them when they happen, and we don’t like to even think about them happening. They scare us. So what you wanna do is you wanna eliminate surprises, and that’s how you prepare. So preparation is not just about I know what I’m gonna say.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:27:34]:
Preparation is about I know what I’m gonna do if something happens. Because I thought about it, I tackled every scenario, and I feel very confident about all the bad things that potentially can happen. I hope they don’t, but I feel very confident. I’m ready.

David Hall [00:27:55]:
Yeah. And, it’s it’s great to prepare in that way too. I recently gave a conference presentation, and I think it’s nice if you can kinda get a look at the room before ahead before time, ahead of time. So I was presenting on day 2, so it was nice The day before I got to, like, you know, check out the room and things. And then sometimes these things are back to back like the breakout sessions, but it was nice. Mine was, There was a nice break before mine, so I got to go in there. And then I was struggling like, oh, what a what’s my login for here? And and, you know, but It worked out because I had plenty of time. But, yeah, I think that I think thinking through everything is is very important, so we avoid anything.

David Hall [00:28:36]:
You

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:28:39]:
Kinda thing. And what exactly. That’s another really great example. And what if Everything fails, and you cannot do your presentation, using your PowerPoint or whatever you have that you were gonna show. Are you ready to go without it? You’d better be.

David Hall [00:28:55]:
Yeah.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:28:55]:
That’s why we came through.

David Hall [00:28:57]:
Yeah. Absolutely. And, you know, I’ve done a lot of conference presentations and the technology varies So much, you know, and and how good it is, you know, and that kind of thing. This one was really nice. It’s the best setup I’ve I’ve ever had. And It was also nice because I hadn’t done anything in person for the last couple years, so that was kinda nice to be out and about.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:29:17]:
Yeah. I still have not done anything in person.

David Hall [00:29:20]:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So how do you actually prepare for what you’re gonna say?

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:29:27]:
There are different ways and different school of schools of thought on this. And I have a preference, a strong preference that I teach, but there are different ways people go about it. So so here are the ways. Right? Let’s say, For simplicity’s sake, you have a 30 minute TED style talk. That style talk means no slides. You just speak. 30 minute, that’s telestalk, which is probably terrifying for most of you to even hear this, but but stay with me. So Some people memorize their whole presentation.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:30:10]:
The whole presentation. I can’t. I’m I’m not that that this memorizing that much. But if you are maybe speaking on a a big stage, I know I personally know people who memorized everything. So that’s one way to do it. Probably not the best way to do it. Why it’s not the best way to do it? Because if you memorized the whole thing, all it takes is for you to forget just 1 segment somewhere, and you’re completely lost. Right? Because you memorized the whole flow.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:30:47]:
As soon as there is a little interrupt, you you you’re lost, and you and it’s very hard to find where to restart. That’s that’s a real problem. And not a school of thought, not an introvert school of thought. It’s probably an extrovert school of thought, but not memorize anything, not just, you know, think through what you wanna say kind of, like, and and just go. Go with it and, just speak, and you’ll and the truth is It may actually work if you’re speaking about something that you know really, really, really well. It’s such, It’s such a huge area of your domain that you are so confident about that you literally people ask you about that anywhere at any time, you can just speak about it for hours. Right? So in that case, I can see how that may work. But, again, would you wanna risk it if you were really on a TED stage and and millions of people are gonna be looking at you? Right? So that’s One way of doing it, second way of doing it.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:31:56]:
And the way that I like is to create an outline, the flow, and only memorize the flow. What I mean is you come up with bullet points of your presentation. So if, let’s say, you have a 30 minute talk, you break it into 7, 8 bullet points, because everything you say is sort of in little segments. Right? There is a thought here. There is a thought here, and then you speak for a few minutes about that thought. Right? So that Logically makes sense to us how we can break it into bullet points. Now if there are 50 bullet points, that defeats the purpose. That don’t that that’s not gonna work.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:32:37]:
What you want is just a manageable amount of bullet points like under 10, and you literally memorize them. You memorize the flow. You memorize your bullet points so that if you forget something if you’re talking about something and you’re on your 2nd bullet point and you forgot something, it’s okay. People don’t know, right, what what you’re gonna talk about anyways. They don’t know Flo, they have no idea. But you can immediately switch to the 3rd bullet points and not feel lost because you you remember your outline. And other than those bullet points, I would recommend memorizing your opinion. That 1 minute thing I would memorize only because if you feel uncomfortable with public speaking, and you’re stepping on that stage and all eyes on you.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:33:29]:
Right? This is the moment where everybody feels their worst. This is where you start feeling like, what am I doing? And all these thoughts that and we talk about all of that. Like, I I coach people through all of that, but it’s still it’s the scariest moment. Wouldn’t it be easier if you knew what to say and you memorize that 1 minute? How many of us cannot memorize 1 minute? Very few. Like, we all can memorize 1 minute. It’s not that hard. Or half a minute, like, just to get you going, right, just to get The just to get you sort of in the flow, and then you speech to your bullet points, and then you’re good to go. The biggest thing people are afraid of is forgetting their speech.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:34:14]:
Right? What if I forget my speech? And this is where memorizing the bullet points really helps. Because no matter what you forget in the middle, It’s okay. Not the end of the world. As long as you can seamlessly switch to your next point, to your next point to your next point, to the audience, it’s gonna look Like, you are in the flow. You never forgot anything. There is not a single mistake. You’re speaking beautifully even though you may may know otherwise. So that would be my my biggest recommendation to you when you’re thinking through your presentation.

David Hall [00:34:58]:
Yeah. And I yeah. Some people may work best for memorizing. I it sounds like your process and mine are very similar, you know. And and I like that you said to memorize your bullet points. I definitely I create my bullet points, you know, and, like, when I find out I need to give a presentation or speech, that’s where I start. I kinda like, okay. What are the points I wanna cover?

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:35:22]:
Right?

David Hall [00:35:23]:
And, you know, I prepare, but then I kinda let that roll around in the back of my mind. And as I think about the you know, how I wanna talk about those things and, You know, I try to capture those. You know, maybe I’m working on something else, but I might have a notebook right by me where I can capture that idea that comes from my Speech, and I I think that that can be a great thing. But I like the, yeah, the thought. I I don’t think I thought about that before memorizing the bullet points, but it is what I do. Yeah. And, and even the opening, you know, think about, okay, how do I wanna start this conversation on this podcast Yeah. Or this presentation, And maybe even how I wanna end it kind of thing.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:36:01]:
Yeah. And and what I do, I would be sometimes, you know, driving to, client meeting, the sales presentation, whatever whatever I’m doing right for but I’m used to before COVID when I was doing it live. In the car, I would be going through my opinion and perfecting it and making it better and, like, thinking about it and right? And so It gives you such a boost of confidence to know that when you open your mouth, you’re gonna start with something clever or funny or interesting, and you have it down. You got that thing. That thing is, like, whatever I say after that is whatever it is, but I got my beginning. It’s gonna be perfect. Right? And then you remember your bullet points. That gives you such sense of confidence.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:36:45]:
And another thing, another reason why you want to always memorize your bullet points even if you have a PowerPoint presentation is because, again, number 1, technology is unreliable. What if you don’t have? What if you can’t pull up your presentation? It had happened to me before. I knew my bullet points. I wasn’t worried. Right? Or there is nothing, like, less attractive than somebody going through the through the PowerPoint presentation, and they clearly don’t know the flow because they never memorized their bullet points, so they don’t know the flow quite as well. They They know they they use slides as a crutch, and they keep on looking at every slide, and that’s how they think they’re flowing. But You you you have a feeling that if they don’t know what the next slide is gonna be like, they don’t remember the whole flow because all they did were create the slides and thinking of them as a crutch that they’re gonna use in their speech. So so my advice is to always know your flow in and out, but what you’re gonna say around each bullet point is is gonna be you know, if every time you give good speech because every time you’re gonna say slightly differently.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:37:57]:
And that’s okay. It’s The conversation, public speaking is not a lecture. It’s a conversation. So you’re gonna have a conversation slightly different every time, but you’re gonna keep your flow going.

David Hall [00:38:10]:
Yeah. And you mentioned driving, and, that’s where I get some of my best ideas. And, You know, I did have to kinda find a replacement for that because there was a it was about a year and a half I mostly worked from home, and that was new for me. And I had to find a replacement where I got that really quiet time where I could think, and driving has been that for me. Sometimes I joke that My work should pay for my drive time because I I you know, I might be solving some work problems. And, now I’m going in a a couple days a week, and, yeah, it’s It’s I might call myself hands free with this great thought that I had, you know, because that that is a time where we’re just we can be separate and and kinda Recharge or really think of some great ideas.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:38:55]:
Absolutely. And, again, by going back to the strengths of an introvert of recharging when being alone and thinking, think through, always take advantage of that time.

David Hall [00:39:05]:
Yeah. So, you know, you prepare for, you know, the actual physical environment. You prepare for what you’re gonna say. Sometimes we have a problem with impromptu. Like, maybe, There’s gonna be a q and a where you have to answer questions that you may not be prepared for. As an introvert, Victoria, how do you teach people to deal with that?

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:39:26]:
This is, I think, is the scariest thing. Let’s just let’s just be honest here. Let’s not sugarcoat it. This is the scariest thing. When you know that you have to speak completely impromptu. It’s scary. You know, you may be invited to speak on the podcast. Right? And then the host says, well, we’ll just we’ll just chat.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:39:49]:
Right? For a lot of people, this is the scariest thought. Oh my gosh. What if they ask Ask me something I don’t know. Let’s get that out of the way. If somebody asks you something that you truly don’t know, like, have no clue, Even if it’s embarrassing, even if it’s something that you’re kind of supposed to know, but you really don’t, don’t number 1, don’t try to make it up Because, I mean, god forbid you say something completely off, and then you’ll really make yourself look bad. So if somebody asks you a question you don’t know, the easiest way to say is the truth. Such a great question. You know, I’m not sure I can answer it right now, but Let me look it up just to make sure that I’m giving you the correct information, and I’ll get back to you.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:40:34]:
Right? That’s a good work meeting reply. If this is more like, maybe you were given a big presentation on stage, right, and then use, like, q and a, and then somebody asks you something you don’t know. You’ll never see them again. Right? Again, you don’t know. You don’t know. Such a great question. You know, I don’t often get questions that Make me not being able to answer or, you know, come up with something cleverer than that, funny as than that, but This is that time. I’m so sorry.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:41:07]:
I don’t know how when to answer it. And, you know, sometimes it’s appropriate to say, let’s see. Maybe raise your hand if you know the answer, and sometimes it’s not, and you just leave it at that. Don’t be scared to say I don’t know. We don’t know everything. Even if you are an expert at at a certain specific thing, Even as an expert, you still may not know everything about it. And if you start trying to come up with an answer that’s not correct. It’s always worse than honestly admitting it.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:41:44]:
But if Somebody asks you a question that you do know the answer to. The skill here is because it’s impromptu. Right? You didn’t you didn’t have a chance to get prepared. You hear is a question. A lot of times you can buy yourself just a few seconds to think about it by Saying something like that is such a great question. I love this. So, guys, the question is, you reiterate it. You just bought yourself good 10 seconds.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:42:14]:
As you’re saying all of that, remember, we are multitaskers. We can think while we’re talking. Right? You, your brain is thinking of what am I gonna start with? What is gonna be the first thing I’m gonna say? You don’t need to think you don’t have time to think through the whole thing, you know, beginning, middle, end. Right? You just don’t have time. You’re answering the question. But as you are buying yourself those few seconds, you’re thinking, what is gonna be the first thing logically? What’s the best thing I’m gonna say first? That’s all you need to think through. And then you start answering. You’re saying that first thing that you are that you thought of real quick.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:42:49]:
And as you’re saying it, you’re thinking, okay, what’s the next thing I’m gonna say? You build the next stepping stone, then you think what’s gonna be the next thing. Next stepping stone. If you’re if somebody is asking you like a question that you don’t have the immediate answer to, this is the best way, you keep on thinking as you go, and you keep on building this little path over a creek with a little stepping stones until you see the end, and you’re like, I know exactly where I’m going to this, and you finish.

David Hall [00:43:20]:
Yeah. Some great strategies.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:43:23]:
Everyone can do it. Now when you cannot do it is when you’re going frantic. Somebody just asked me question. What if I don’t answer? If you spend those 5 seconds working yourself up, What if they think I don’t know anything? What if my answer is not you just wasted those 5 seconds being silly. Right? Whereas you should have been spending them thinking what’s gonna be the first thing I’m gonna say. And there is nothing somebody can ask you that you either cannot answer or you cannot say great question. I just don’t know the answer. But it’s a wonderful question.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:44:00]:
You know? Think I’m I’m not funny on demand. Okay. Sometimes I’m funny. Sometimes I’m making jokes. Sometimes I’m, like, not funny on demand. But If I was in that situation where I knew I have a very big potential of people asking questions I’m not gonna have an answer to, I’m going to think through something funny to say in that specific situation. So I’m gonna have some some sort of a joke, something to say I don’t have an answer, but it’s gonna be in a funnier way. You think people are gonna be thinking that, oh my gosh.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:44:33]:
I don’t wanna understand what she’s doing on stage. She doesn’t know anything. No. People are gonna think, she’s so wonderful. She’s so funny. They wouldn’t even think that I didn’t know the answer. Because by you being confident, being able to hold a conversation with your audience, you already proved to them that you are an expert, and they have every right to admire you. And you not answering 1 question is not gonna change that.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:45:07]:
But As far as impromptu in general, you have to remind yourself before that I am very smart. I’m an expert in what I do. I know my field. If somebody asks me, you know, about something I have no idea about like plumbing, It’s not my field, and it’s it’s okay if I say no. But anything to ask me that’s within my knowledge, my area of expertise, I will have a wonderful conversation with them, and they’re gonna they’re gonna truly admire me for who I am, what I am, and what I bring to the table, what I teach them, what I show them, what they how they benefit from me. That’s the mindset. The mindset is not what if I don’t have anything to say. No.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:45:59]:
The mindset is I’m going to have something to say because I know what I’m talking about. I know my field. It’s just a matter of figuring out what to start with.

David Hall [00:46:09]:
Yeah. And that’s the confidence right there is

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:46:11]:
It is.

David Hall [00:46:12]:
There’s a reason why you’re speaking At that work meeting or at, you know, the conference or whatever it is you’re doing because you have something to offer. And I think that’s, for introverts, I you know, where I’m an expert, like, this topic of introversion, I I I’m not struggling for something to say. You know? And so I I love how you put that, that we can bring that into there and and really give us confidence. But at the same time, if there’s something you really don’t know, It’s okay. Give yourself a break. Don’t beat yourself up. You know? You gave some great strategies for that. Yeah.

David Hall [00:46:45]:
So, In the bio, you also just talked about giving a captivating speech. How how do you teach people to do that? What what what makes a captivating speech?

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:46:57]:
Such a such a huge conversation. But Yeah. Let me give you Just one really important nugget here. Okay? The way you captivate your audience. Let’s let’s talk about this word, captivate. What does it mean, captivate? Captivate means that not only they’re listening to you and they can’t take their eyes off you or they can’t stop listening. They’re just so in the moment. They are completely wrapped up in that conversation.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:47:28]:
Not only that, but also when they leave, they keep on thinking about it. That’s captivating. Right? How do you do that? It feels so hard and so only few people probably can do it and, you know, 5 people in the world. No. Anybody can learn to do it. And the way you do it is you focus on what you want your audience to feel. You don’t focus on what you’re gonna say you don’t focus on what they want to hear. You only focus on how you want to make them feel.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:48:19]:
And I I there is this famous quote. I can’t Think of it right away, but it’s basically people forget, what you said. People forget, what you did, but people never forget how you made them feel.

David Hall [00:48:33]:
Right.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:48:34]:
If you wanna deliver a truly captivating presentation as you’re preparing for it, the biggest question you need to ask yourself is, how do I want to make them feel? And if you are able to create that feeling in them, real feeling, not just, oh, I just learned something amazing, but real feeling where they feel like you moved them. They feel like if they’ve changed from the moment you opened your mouth to the moment you stopped speaking. If you are able to create that shift, if you are able to create a feeling, they will be captivated. They will walk out of there, and next days, they’ll be still thinking about you, and that’s the magic.

David Hall [00:49:27]:
Yeah. That’s beautiful. And so that’s what it is. It’s really helping them. It’s not all about you. Right?

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:49:33]:
It’s not about you at all.

David Hall [00:49:34]:
Helping them figure out you know, feel, what those things that you want to have them walk away with. Right? That’s amazing. So, tell us a little bit more about the Brilliant Speakers Academy.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:49:49]:
Brilliant Speakers Academy was the core digital course that I built a few years ago, and I’ve had a lot of students go through it. And it became the foundation for my coaching program, Brilliant Speakers Accelerator, which is all about helping people like you, high level professionals, entrepreneurs, people who are good at what they do but need to learn how to be able to show the world that they are confident, compelling, and captivating speakers and be able to speak in meetings, on Zoom, on stage, etcetera. So my coaching program helps people get to that point without faking it, without, you know, pushing through the fear, but by actually learning how to not appear confident, but how to feel confident on the inside. That’s what my program is all about. Learning how to feel confident, and teaching you how to take that confidence and become a confident, compelling, and captivating speaker. And, really, as I said before, it’s a skill. It’s a skill that anybody can acquire. It’s all about learning it, internalizing it, practicing it, and making it become who you are.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:51:24]:
And that’s basically what my program does.

David Hall [00:51:30]:
Amazing. And, you know, hopefully, we busted the myth for everyone that’s listening. Introverts can be brilliant speakers, And you just gotta get to know your strengths and also your needs and what you have to offer. There’s some strategies that you’ve talked about and there’s many more. I could talk with you all day, Victoria. This has been a wonderful conversation. If people wanna find out more about the great work that you’re doing, how do they get ahold of you?

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:52:01]:
You can come to my website, www. By victorial.com. Again, it’s by victoriall For Lewsnyansky, see I’m not making you spell it, .com. And, you can click on how to work with me, and that’s where you can read about, brilliant speakers accelerate the coaching program, you can also grab my quick training. It’s a video training that Only takes a few minutes to listen to, and it’s gonna really help you to get going to start feeling a little more confident in what you do, and it’s www.byvictorial.com/training.

David Hall [00:52:47]:
Very nice. And I will put that in the show notes as well. So

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:52:50]:
you.

David Hall [00:52:51]:
It’s been a pleasure to have you on the show, and I know that people listening will greatly benefit because We can be great speakers. So thanks again, Victoria.

Victoria Lioznyansky [00:52:59]:
You’re welcome. Thank you.

David Hall [00:53:01]:
Thank you so much for joining me today. I look forward to further connecting with you. Reach out at david@quietandstrong.com. Check out the website, quiet and strong.com. I’ll add social media channels for me and my guests to the show notes. Please comment on social media posts. Send me topics or guests you’d like to see on the show. There’s so many great things about being an introvert, And so we need those to be understood.

David Hall [00:53:32]:
Get to know your introverted strengths and needs, And be strong.

Recommended Posts